It's night 8 on the balmy beaches of Samoa. Foa Foa has just returned from Tribal Council where Ben and his white hood have been sent home. Russell (EGG) tells us that Ben did himself in at Tribal Council and he (EGG) was forced to let him go. That isn't exactly how I remember it but as we all know EGG is calling all the shots so it must be true (insert note of sarcasm here). For his part, Jaison tells us that coming on Survivor was the worst decision of his life. EGG says that Jaison is ready to go home and wonders "what kind of man is that?" EGG thinks that maybe Jaison should be voted off next. "After all", he tells us, "whoever I want to be gone is gone. They're all under my thumb right now".
The next morning we look in at camp Galu where Shambo has returned after her visit with Foa Foa. She finds her tribe somewhat lacking. At Foa Foa she was a somebody. She connected. At Galu everyone is lazy. Lazy but not stupid. Erik and John pump Shambo for the clues to the whereabouts of the hidden immunity idol. They reason that the same clues that lead to the idol hidden at Foa Foa may lead them to the idol in their own camp. Shambo takes about oh...a nanosecond...to give them the clues, thinking that it will guarantee their protection later on. They even promise to give her the idol if they find it. Oh Shambo! What have you done? I share a body with Erik and I can tell you he has no intention of giving you that idol!
Tree mail arrives with a map and instructions. The chief of each tribe is to select two members of their tribe to participate in a challenge that appears to involve food as a reward. Not knowing what to expect, both tribe leaders select one person who is smart and/or good at puzzles (Natalie and Shambo) and one person who is more physical (Dave and EGG). They head off to the specified location where they stand around wondering "where is Dimples and what colour shirt will he wear today?" But no Dimples arrives. Instead they are left to stare at a crate containing three live chickens with a sign saying "reward". On the other side of the clearing is a large treasure chest. After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence waiting for Dimples, the Survivors begin to discuss what they should do. Should they just take the chickens? Should they look in the chest? Finally when EGG makes a move to the chest they all fly into action. It turns out the chest contains a number of coloured balls,a flag and instructions. The crate contains...well...chickens. They are to put the flag in the ground and throw the balls at it alla bocce ball/horseshoes/curling. The closest ball to the flag at the end wins the chickens. Foa Foa has this on in the bag. Every ball they throw gets them closer to the flag. It comes down to a final throw by Danger Dave for Galu. Dave pulls off a perfect shot, rolling his ball right to the flag. Once more Foa Foa tastes the sting of defeat as they shuffle back to camp to think about who to blame for the loss.
Back at Galu, Erik is hard at work. He is happy to have some alone time to look for the hidden idol. Yasmin leaves camp and John is sleeping, so Erik starts looking. He eventually finds the idol hidden in a tree beside the fire. What he doesn't know is that John wakes up and sees him searching for the idol. "Wait a minute", thinks a sleepy John, "wasn't I supposed to be in on that action?". Shortly after Erik gets the idol tucked away behind a rock for safe keeping, the challenge winners arrive back at camp with the chickens. Russell assigns Shambo to look after them so she proceeds to talk to them - in chicken. Dave is ecstatic that he won the challenge for the tribe but is careful not to be too cocky. The next morning Shambo is busy talking to the chicken, apparently praising it for laying an egg (not THAT EGG...he isn't getting laid until he gets home and can find someone stupid enough...did I type that out loud?).Anyway, the chicken is running around in the jungle, Erik and Shambo are chasing it, and no one else in the tribe seems to care very much one way or the other. In a comedic highlight Erik is running through the jungle after the chicken when he gets clotheslined by the clothesline. This would have been much funnier if Erik wasn't MY guy. Meanwhile, amid the chicken rodeo, there is talk that Yasmin does not contribute at camp and should be sent home if Galu should ever lose an immunity challenge.
Right on cue, Dimples, refreshed after having the last challenge off, arrives with an immunity challenge. Each tribe must run across a net to retrieve a set of blocks. Once they have these on their mat the must stack the blocks. Once the stack is complete they have to make their way over a rope bridge to get a second set of blocks and stack those. The stacks are tall so the tribe has to put someone on their shoulders to reach the top of the stack. It's close, but Foa Foa wins their first immunity challenge.
Galu has all kinds of potential evictees. Shambo lost the chicken. Yasmin is lazy. Monica did poorly in the challenge. It comes down to a choice between Yasmin and Monica. Russell thinks it should be Monica because he is all about strength in the challenges. But the tribe votes against him and it is Yasmin who is pitter pattering away from Tribal Council is her high heels.With Yasmin goes Barb who, coincidentally, also has a fine shoe collection.
And so, goodnight from beautiful Pasqua Lake, where the snow continues to fall. It would be pretty in December. In October it's just wrong. Until next week...
Outwit, Outplay, Outlast
Pat (aka Erik wahoo I got me an idol Cardona)
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Survivor Samoa - Oct. 1/09
I'm back. Thank you Donna for so capably filling in last week while I wined and dined with my dragon boat team mates.
Its day 7 and Jaison is making the case that Ben should be the next to go, calling him a mental plague. Russell (Evil Garden Gnome who from now on shall be called EGG)complains that nobody is playing the game except for him. He thinks they might well be the worst group in history and are walking around like zombies. He, on the other hand, is unquestionably the best (the best EGG, one wonders?). While EGG's ego is full to overflowing, Ben is having his own little self love-in. After watching Mick unsuccessfully try to make a fire he tells us that "these people would die" without him. He then tell the women that they shouldn't even try making fire because they won't be able to do it and will just ruin the flint. He finishes by telling them that he had the biggest poop of his life and wonders how the other are doing, poop-wise.
Things are much more sophisticated at Galu, where Laura is leading them in a yoga class. A huffy Shambo isn't participating with her "90210 clique" tribe-mates. She says they have no food, no water and no firewood and says they can "screw yoga".
Back at Foa Foa (because really Galu just seems pretty boring and gets very little air time during this episode)EGG tells Ben that Ashley was leader of a plot to have Ben ousted at the last Tribal Council.Privately EGG tells us that he has planted a "Russell seed" which will grow in Ben's brain. EGG feels he needs Ben for challenges and that Ashley is more expendable.
Tree mail arrives including a bag 'o bathing suits. One can almost see a production meeting where the crew discuss the problem of survivors wearing shirts and pants. The guy who suggested giving each tribe a bag of skimpy bikini's guaranteed to reveal boobs during the physical challenges probably got a raise. In any case the tribes traipse off to reward/immunity challenge wearing their new bikinis (well not the men. The men presumably got bathing suits too, but they didn't get much camera time).
For the challenge two tribe mates must swim out and retrieve a crate. The catch is that they have to go through a battle zone, defended by two members of the opposing tribe. Once 4 crates have been retrieved the must be untied and stacked so that there are no colour repetitions on any one side. Galu has an early lead and hangs on to win. Russell (not the evil EGG, but the other one) has to make a choice of reward. He can take comfort (blankets and pillows) or function (a tarp and pots). He chooses comfort against his own good judgement, saying it is necessary to keep the women happy. The decision is much less popular among the Galu men, however. Russell also has to select a Galuvian to go back to camp with the Foa Foa tribe. He selects Shambo, who receives a clue to the location of the immunity idol hidden in Camp Foa Foa.
Back at the Foa Foa camp, Shambo is a hit. The Foa Foalites feel she has good energy and want to adopt her. For her part, Shambo feels she has more in common with Galu than with her own tribe. And building relationships with them now can't hurt later when the tribes merge. In between teaching the Foa Foans tricks with palm fronds, Shambo has to find time to look for the immunity idol. The clue indicates it is near the fire and on the ground. EGG is chuckling because he already has the idol, but Shambo doesn't know that.She needs to find time to hunt for the idol. In a classic scene, Shambo is laying on the ground with the entire upper half of her body inside the trunk of a tree, while three of the Foa Foa women stand nearby. They apparently think that the Galu tribe lays on the ground with their heads inside trees all the time, because they don't even comment on Shambo's odd behaviour.
Jaison is desperate to be rid of Ben and tells Ashley that if Ben doesn't go he will. He tells us he really has not intention of leaving, but hopes he will sway the tribe into voting for Ben instead of Ashley. This conflicts with EGG's plan to get rid of Ashley. EGG tries to convince Mick to vote for Ashley and, to gain his confidence, he shows Mick the immunity idol. Mick is torn between conflicting loyalties to EGG and to Jaison. Jaison then makes his pitch to EGG suggesting that Ben is not a big asset in challenges and is a definite downer around camp. EGG seems to realize he can't push the Ashley thing any more without causing mistrust.
At Tribal Council Jaison tells Dimples that he wishes they could trade Shambo for Ben. This sets off an argument between Ben and Jaison that has some members of the tribe cringing and some smirking.When the votes are counted Ben is gone and Ashley is safe. For the first time EGG's zombie diciples did something other than his bidding. Instead it was Jaison they listened too. Oooooh, I think EGG will have to get rid of Jaison real quick.
With the uncouth Ben goes our own very couth Pam. Sorry to see you go so soon Pam. No one voted for Ben to win.
Until next week,
Outwit, Outplay, Outlast
Pat (aka Erik why the heck did Russell tell me to sit out that rough and tumble immunity challenge Cardona)
Its day 7 and Jaison is making the case that Ben should be the next to go, calling him a mental plague. Russell (Evil Garden Gnome who from now on shall be called EGG)complains that nobody is playing the game except for him. He thinks they might well be the worst group in history and are walking around like zombies. He, on the other hand, is unquestionably the best (the best EGG, one wonders?). While EGG's ego is full to overflowing, Ben is having his own little self love-in. After watching Mick unsuccessfully try to make a fire he tells us that "these people would die" without him. He then tell the women that they shouldn't even try making fire because they won't be able to do it and will just ruin the flint. He finishes by telling them that he had the biggest poop of his life and wonders how the other are doing, poop-wise.
Things are much more sophisticated at Galu, where Laura is leading them in a yoga class. A huffy Shambo isn't participating with her "90210 clique" tribe-mates. She says they have no food, no water and no firewood and says they can "screw yoga".
Back at Foa Foa (because really Galu just seems pretty boring and gets very little air time during this episode)EGG tells Ben that Ashley was leader of a plot to have Ben ousted at the last Tribal Council.Privately EGG tells us that he has planted a "Russell seed" which will grow in Ben's brain. EGG feels he needs Ben for challenges and that Ashley is more expendable.
Tree mail arrives including a bag 'o bathing suits. One can almost see a production meeting where the crew discuss the problem of survivors wearing shirts and pants. The guy who suggested giving each tribe a bag of skimpy bikini's guaranteed to reveal boobs during the physical challenges probably got a raise. In any case the tribes traipse off to reward/immunity challenge wearing their new bikinis (well not the men. The men presumably got bathing suits too, but they didn't get much camera time).
For the challenge two tribe mates must swim out and retrieve a crate. The catch is that they have to go through a battle zone, defended by two members of the opposing tribe. Once 4 crates have been retrieved the must be untied and stacked so that there are no colour repetitions on any one side. Galu has an early lead and hangs on to win. Russell (not the evil EGG, but the other one) has to make a choice of reward. He can take comfort (blankets and pillows) or function (a tarp and pots). He chooses comfort against his own good judgement, saying it is necessary to keep the women happy. The decision is much less popular among the Galu men, however. Russell also has to select a Galuvian to go back to camp with the Foa Foa tribe. He selects Shambo, who receives a clue to the location of the immunity idol hidden in Camp Foa Foa.
Back at the Foa Foa camp, Shambo is a hit. The Foa Foalites feel she has good energy and want to adopt her. For her part, Shambo feels she has more in common with Galu than with her own tribe. And building relationships with them now can't hurt later when the tribes merge. In between teaching the Foa Foans tricks with palm fronds, Shambo has to find time to look for the immunity idol. The clue indicates it is near the fire and on the ground. EGG is chuckling because he already has the idol, but Shambo doesn't know that.She needs to find time to hunt for the idol. In a classic scene, Shambo is laying on the ground with the entire upper half of her body inside the trunk of a tree, while three of the Foa Foa women stand nearby. They apparently think that the Galu tribe lays on the ground with their heads inside trees all the time, because they don't even comment on Shambo's odd behaviour.
Jaison is desperate to be rid of Ben and tells Ashley that if Ben doesn't go he will. He tells us he really has not intention of leaving, but hopes he will sway the tribe into voting for Ben instead of Ashley. This conflicts with EGG's plan to get rid of Ashley. EGG tries to convince Mick to vote for Ashley and, to gain his confidence, he shows Mick the immunity idol. Mick is torn between conflicting loyalties to EGG and to Jaison. Jaison then makes his pitch to EGG suggesting that Ben is not a big asset in challenges and is a definite downer around camp. EGG seems to realize he can't push the Ashley thing any more without causing mistrust.
At Tribal Council Jaison tells Dimples that he wishes they could trade Shambo for Ben. This sets off an argument between Ben and Jaison that has some members of the tribe cringing and some smirking.When the votes are counted Ben is gone and Ashley is safe. For the first time EGG's zombie diciples did something other than his bidding. Instead it was Jaison they listened too. Oooooh, I think EGG will have to get rid of Jaison real quick.
With the uncouth Ben goes our own very couth Pam. Sorry to see you go so soon Pam. No one voted for Ben to win.
Until next week,
Outwit, Outplay, Outlast
Pat (aka Erik why the heck did Russell tell me to sit out that rough and tumble immunity challenge Cardona)
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Who you chose to win Survivor Samoa
Following are the votes I received. It was a crazy week for me and if I missed recording your vote, please send it to me again and I will add it in.
Marie voted for Jaison
Jack voted for Laura
Grace voted for Betsy
Debbie voted for Jaison
Donna voted for Erik
Selina voted for Jaison
Lisa voted for Shannon (Shambo)
Barb voted for Betsy
Betsy has already been eliminated. Sorry Barb and Grace. Good luck to the rest of you!
Marie voted for Jaison
Jack voted for Laura
Grace voted for Betsy
Debbie voted for Jaison
Donna voted for Erik
Selina voted for Jaison
Lisa voted for Shannon (Shambo)
Barb voted for Betsy
Betsy has already been eliminated. Sorry Barb and Grace. Good luck to the rest of you!
Survivor Samoa - September 24/09
Thanks Donna for doing the update while I attended the victory party for my Dragon Boat team. I think we all agree it was a great job! Pat
Well, after wiping away the tears of Grey’s Anatomy I thought it best I get my notations down on paper for tonight’s Survivor episode. Ahem… so here goes.
Another day dawns… (cue rooster).. we’re at Foa Foa after the tribal council that saw Marissa go home. Of course, it’s another shot of Russell H (a.k.a. Garden Gnome). Russell is pretty happy with himself, he tells us that he ‘had fun’ at last nights vote and he enjoyed getting rid of Marissa. He cannot have these strong women around. He also confronts Betsy about her vote for Ashley. He tells her that he wants to keep her around, and that she made a huge mistake. They basically came to an understanding to agree to disagree and not trust each other.
Back at Galu, Jasmine is hating life, she hates the living conditions, she hates the bed, the cold, the wet. On the up-side they caught a lizard and decided to cook it up for breakfast.
Back to the Garden Gnome, his tribe of dumb people aren’t quite so dumb. Jaison questioned why Marissa had to go home so early, he felt she was voted out too quick. Russell tells us that you have to trust someone in this game and he’s chosen that someone special to be Jaison. Russell decides that there has to be a hidden immunity idol in camp and sets out to look for it. He thinks he’ll be an absolute genius if he finds the idol without even a single clue. Russell searches as the tribe eats, and searches and looks up a tree and the dumba** actually finds the idol! He shoves it down his underwear and swaggers off to gloat. Man oh man do I hope this guy goes home quick! Maybe the genius will also become a victim of the hugest blind-side ever!
Back to the game. Treemail arrives with a combination reward and immunity challenge with an additional twist to be revealed later. Russell and his dumb blondes (his words, not mine), Liz and Jaison discuss the possibility of the next one to go. It’s decided that either Mike or Betsy will go next. Obviously Russell wants to get rid of Betsy because she crossed him and he figures she should pay for her crimes.
The challenge is to get painted up like a Samoan warrior to go to battle. Three members of each tribe battle it out for three balls in a ‘pit’ They pass a ball, if they can get it to one of their 3 tribe members on a platform who then must shoot a basket in the opposition’s basketball net. Now this is a very physical challenge, to the point that Dimples stops the game at one point to warn them that they must play nice on the playground, no choking, no head butting, no face shots, or they’ll be pulled from the game. Ben intentionally trips Russell (the good Russell) and Jeff calls him on it and hauls him out of the game leaving Foa Foa short a member. Galu manages to shoot the three needed baskets and wins the prize, fishing gear. And Jeff says, “if you can’t catch fish with this you should just go home”. The twist was that one member from the Galu gets to go back to Foa Foa’s camp and see how they live, their dynamics and go to tribal council with them up until the votes get cast.
Jasmine is picked to go back to Foa Foa, but before any good dirt gets dug up, Mike gets looked at by medical. Mike’s blood pressure is very low, when he stands up he immediately falls and his blood pressure plummets some more. Medical decides that he could be a heart attack waiting to happen and they pull him from the game and send him home. Dimples was not in a forgiving mood though and advises Foa Foa that they will still go to tribal council and still vote out a member.
Well, after wiping away the tears of Grey’s Anatomy I thought it best I get my notations down on paper for tonight’s Survivor episode. Ahem… so here goes.
Another day dawns… (cue rooster).. we’re at Foa Foa after the tribal council that saw Marissa go home. Of course, it’s another shot of Russell H (a.k.a. Garden Gnome). Russell is pretty happy with himself, he tells us that he ‘had fun’ at last nights vote and he enjoyed getting rid of Marissa. He cannot have these strong women around. He also confronts Betsy about her vote for Ashley. He tells her that he wants to keep her around, and that she made a huge mistake. They basically came to an understanding to agree to disagree and not trust each other.
Back at Galu, Jasmine is hating life, she hates the living conditions, she hates the bed, the cold, the wet. On the up-side they caught a lizard and decided to cook it up for breakfast.
Back to the Garden Gnome, his tribe of dumb people aren’t quite so dumb. Jaison questioned why Marissa had to go home so early, he felt she was voted out too quick. Russell tells us that you have to trust someone in this game and he’s chosen that someone special to be Jaison. Russell decides that there has to be a hidden immunity idol in camp and sets out to look for it. He thinks he’ll be an absolute genius if he finds the idol without even a single clue. Russell searches as the tribe eats, and searches and looks up a tree and the dumba** actually finds the idol! He shoves it down his underwear and swaggers off to gloat. Man oh man do I hope this guy goes home quick! Maybe the genius will also become a victim of the hugest blind-side ever!
Back to the game. Treemail arrives with a combination reward and immunity challenge with an additional twist to be revealed later. Russell and his dumb blondes (his words, not mine), Liz and Jaison discuss the possibility of the next one to go. It’s decided that either Mike or Betsy will go next. Obviously Russell wants to get rid of Betsy because she crossed him and he figures she should pay for her crimes.
The challenge is to get painted up like a Samoan warrior to go to battle. Three members of each tribe battle it out for three balls in a ‘pit’ They pass a ball, if they can get it to one of their 3 tribe members on a platform who then must shoot a basket in the opposition’s basketball net. Now this is a very physical challenge, to the point that Dimples stops the game at one point to warn them that they must play nice on the playground, no choking, no head butting, no face shots, or they’ll be pulled from the game. Ben intentionally trips Russell (the good Russell) and Jeff calls him on it and hauls him out of the game leaving Foa Foa short a member. Galu manages to shoot the three needed baskets and wins the prize, fishing gear. And Jeff says, “if you can’t catch fish with this you should just go home”. The twist was that one member from the Galu gets to go back to Foa Foa’s camp and see how they live, their dynamics and go to tribal council with them up until the votes get cast.
Jasmine is picked to go back to Foa Foa, but before any good dirt gets dug up, Mike gets looked at by medical. Mike’s blood pressure is very low, when he stands up he immediately falls and his blood pressure plummets some more. Medical decides that he could be a heart attack waiting to happen and they pull him from the game and send him home. Dimples was not in a forgiving mood though and advises Foa Foa that they will still go to tribal council and still vote out a member.
Back at Galu, Shambo goes fishing. She’s out in the reef and proudly announced to her tribe mates that there are literally hundreds of thousands of fish out there in the ocean (go figure!), but sadly she did not catch any, maybe because she was too busy relaxing in the swamp water and losing the mouth piece to the snorkel set. So, not only did she not catch anything, she also managed to lose a vital piece of that equipment.
At Joa Joa Jasmine goes about setting them all straight on their survivor strategy. She tells them that she’s there to help and that it’s no fun to win like this, it’s like taking candy from a baby. Needless to say this infuriates the Joa Joas. Then she goes after Ben because he got thrown out of the game and he had tackled her and she didn’t appreciate that saying that he took ‘cheap shots’. Ben doesn’t think much of Jasmine, says she’s close to being a hooker, smells bad and has bad grammar. With Ben and Jasmine yelling at each other Ashley is worried about him, she says he is a wild card and she didn’t know if he should be around much longer. This is evident when he’s up chopping wood, in the middle of the night and wakes up the entire tribe. Betsy sees this as an opportunity to get rid of Ben and save her own hide, and she pleads her case to Russell’s blonde allies. Mick also has second thoughts about voting her out because of Ben’s behavior. Sadly, the evil Garden Gnome says it’s Betsy to go because #1 she is weakest and #2 she doesn’t trust him and “whatever I want… happens” are his words.
The rhetoric at tribal was about the same, Jasmine has poor grammar and she disrespected them. Ben makes no apologies for the way he played the game and that Dimples has “sissy rules”. Jaison was the only one making any sense saying that they can argue but they need to win to show their strength. Betsy said that she doesn’t understand why her head is on the chopping block and that Ben was the one who helped lose that challenge, not her. At any rate Jeff sends them off to vote, and then for umpteenth time counts the votes and by a margin of 7 to 1 it’s Betsy who gets sent packing. Along with Betsy goes our own Jeff.
Sorry to see you go Jeff, and sorry, no nice parting gifts either.
Next week on Survivor… - Jaison figures the Garden Gnome out and Shambo is on the outs with her tribe.
I don’t know if anyone picked Betsy to win the game, I’m just the substitute commentator, we’ll take you back to your regular scheduled commentator next week.
Thank you for letting me sub, hope the read at least was pretty accurate, however not nearly as entertaining as Pat’s usual.
Donna (the good Russell, glad I’m not a Gnome) Hodel
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Season Premiere...Survivor Samoa
Wahoo. It was good to hear that music again, wasn't it?
Twenty new Survivors paddle onto our screen and into Samoa, in the South Pacific. Although we don't see the circumstances which led up to them being in the canoes, one wonders if Survivor contestants will ever learn. Some are in high heels, others in suits. Argghhh. It makes me crazy. You will end up in the jungle eventually. You might want to put on some practical footwear!
But I digress. The Survivors come to shore and meet Dimples, who tells them that they have already been sorted into two tribes, Galu and Foa Foa. Using only the impressions they have gained in the canoes, each tribe has to elect a leader. The leader for Galu is the nattily dressed Russel (not to be confused with Russell from the other tribe who we will get to in due time). The Foa Foa Folks select Mick. Dimples then asks each leader to select someone from their tribe who appears to be the best swimmer, the strongest, the most agile and the smartest.
The challenge involves having the swimmer from each tribe swim out and retrieve a key which they then turn over to the team strongman. This person must unlock two bundles of logs and carry them to a mat. The agility person then takes over and makes their way over a balance beam while running the key along a rope wound around the beam. And finally the smartest person takes over, using the key to unlock puzzle pieces (qu'elle suprise) and solve a puzzle. Foa Foa wins reward (a flint) and John of Galu wins demerit points for his poor swim and his long rest on the beach after the challenge.
Once the tribes arrive at their camps, it doesn't take long for the action to start. Russell H. (multimillionaire, garden gnome on steroids and certified ass) wastes no time all all in establishing an alliance with the "dumb short haired blonde", the "even dumber long haired blonde" and the "dumb one with dark hair". This little group he calls the Dumbass Girl Alliance. He also makes an alliance with Betsy the cop who he acknowledges is older and smarter and will require more caution on his part. Privately Betsy tells us that she doesn't trust Russell.
Over at Galu, Russell (the nice one) is taking his leadership role seriously but has a little too much help. Especially from Dan who is a woodsy kind of guy and knows just how to dig the latrines, and John who would like them to do a feasibility study on the third log on the left in the shelter they are building. All of the time wasting irks Shambo, the mulletted female ex-marine who seems like a get er done kind of gal.
Back at Foa Foa, night has fallen and the tribe mates are snuggled in their shelter. Evil Russell is telling stories. He tells them about losing his dog to the flood waters following hurricane Katrina. The girls weep. Privately he tells us he as never lived in New Orleans and has never owned a dog. Privately Marissa tells us she is sensing a slime ball. This is confirmed when Russell empties all the canteens and even burns one of Jaison's socks. All of this, he tells us, is to make his tribe mates as miserable as possible so that he can control them. In the morning his beady eyes glisten as he watched the fireworks.
But enough fun. Dimples calls the tribes together for their first immunity challenge. In this challenge all members of the tribe must make it over 3 A-frame structures carrying coils of rope. Once everyone is over (and this is not accomplished without the loss of a lot of skin!) they must use the rope to pull a large crate up a ramp. In the crate are (I don't believe it!) puzzle pieces which four members of the tribe must assemble. Galu wins the challenge, immunity, and fire thanks to an all female puzzle-making come-back.
So Foa Foa has to decide who to send home. Mike, sitting on a log with his belly hanging in the sand, proclaims that the weakest should go, and that is Ashley. However Marissa tells Evil Russell that he worries her because he is talking to everyone. Evil Russell construes this as an attack and vows to get rid of Marissa. According to Evil Russell the tribe will believe anything he says because they are stupid. Once he is done with them he will "throw them in the trash". However Betsy reiterates that she doesn't trust Russell. But, at least this time, Russell gets his way and when the ballots are counted Marissa is the first to leave. Her crime was not only in seeing through Russell, but in telling him about it. With Marissa goes our own Georgia. The good news is that Georgia will get her $10.00 back. She also can be proud that she stood up to the evil garden gnome.
Remember to check out the bios at http://www.cbs.com/primetime/survivor/ and pick the person you think will take the million dollars. Let me know your pick before the start of next weeks show and you may win a Survivor buff just like "Selina" did.
Until next week,
Outwit, Outplay, Outlast
Pat (aka Erik didja see me carry those heavy heavy logs Cardona)
Twenty new Survivors paddle onto our screen and into Samoa, in the South Pacific. Although we don't see the circumstances which led up to them being in the canoes, one wonders if Survivor contestants will ever learn. Some are in high heels, others in suits. Argghhh. It makes me crazy. You will end up in the jungle eventually. You might want to put on some practical footwear!
But I digress. The Survivors come to shore and meet Dimples, who tells them that they have already been sorted into two tribes, Galu and Foa Foa. Using only the impressions they have gained in the canoes, each tribe has to elect a leader. The leader for Galu is the nattily dressed Russel (not to be confused with Russell from the other tribe who we will get to in due time). The Foa Foa Folks select Mick. Dimples then asks each leader to select someone from their tribe who appears to be the best swimmer, the strongest, the most agile and the smartest.
The challenge involves having the swimmer from each tribe swim out and retrieve a key which they then turn over to the team strongman. This person must unlock two bundles of logs and carry them to a mat. The agility person then takes over and makes their way over a balance beam while running the key along a rope wound around the beam. And finally the smartest person takes over, using the key to unlock puzzle pieces (qu'elle suprise) and solve a puzzle. Foa Foa wins reward (a flint) and John of Galu wins demerit points for his poor swim and his long rest on the beach after the challenge.
Once the tribes arrive at their camps, it doesn't take long for the action to start. Russell H. (multimillionaire, garden gnome on steroids and certified ass) wastes no time all all in establishing an alliance with the "dumb short haired blonde", the "even dumber long haired blonde" and the "dumb one with dark hair". This little group he calls the Dumbass Girl Alliance. He also makes an alliance with Betsy the cop who he acknowledges is older and smarter and will require more caution on his part. Privately Betsy tells us that she doesn't trust Russell.
Over at Galu, Russell (the nice one) is taking his leadership role seriously but has a little too much help. Especially from Dan who is a woodsy kind of guy and knows just how to dig the latrines, and John who would like them to do a feasibility study on the third log on the left in the shelter they are building. All of the time wasting irks Shambo, the mulletted female ex-marine who seems like a get er done kind of gal.
Back at Foa Foa, night has fallen and the tribe mates are snuggled in their shelter. Evil Russell is telling stories. He tells them about losing his dog to the flood waters following hurricane Katrina. The girls weep. Privately he tells us he as never lived in New Orleans and has never owned a dog. Privately Marissa tells us she is sensing a slime ball. This is confirmed when Russell empties all the canteens and even burns one of Jaison's socks. All of this, he tells us, is to make his tribe mates as miserable as possible so that he can control them. In the morning his beady eyes glisten as he watched the fireworks.
But enough fun. Dimples calls the tribes together for their first immunity challenge. In this challenge all members of the tribe must make it over 3 A-frame structures carrying coils of rope. Once everyone is over (and this is not accomplished without the loss of a lot of skin!) they must use the rope to pull a large crate up a ramp. In the crate are (I don't believe it!) puzzle pieces which four members of the tribe must assemble. Galu wins the challenge, immunity, and fire thanks to an all female puzzle-making come-back.
So Foa Foa has to decide who to send home. Mike, sitting on a log with his belly hanging in the sand, proclaims that the weakest should go, and that is Ashley. However Marissa tells Evil Russell that he worries her because he is talking to everyone. Evil Russell construes this as an attack and vows to get rid of Marissa. According to Evil Russell the tribe will believe anything he says because they are stupid. Once he is done with them he will "throw them in the trash". However Betsy reiterates that she doesn't trust Russell. But, at least this time, Russell gets his way and when the ballots are counted Marissa is the first to leave. Her crime was not only in seeing through Russell, but in telling him about it. With Marissa goes our own Georgia. The good news is that Georgia will get her $10.00 back. She also can be proud that she stood up to the evil garden gnome.
Remember to check out the bios at http://www.cbs.com/primetime/survivor/ and pick the person you think will take the million dollars. Let me know your pick before the start of next weeks show and you may win a Survivor buff just like "Selina" did.
Until next week,
Outwit, Outplay, Outlast
Pat (aka Erik didja see me carry those heavy heavy logs Cardona)
"Selina" Displays her Survivor Tocantins Buff
The winner of the Survivor Buff for Survivor Tocantins was kind enough to send me some photos of her wearing it, on the condition that I give her a "screen name". So I have decided to call her "Selina" (relax, they'll never figure it out!!). And so, here is "Selina" bedecked in her Red Sox gear (that's a little slow pitch team out of Boston...oh no, wait. Its the Blue Jays that are the slow pitch team, not the Sox). You will note the resemblance, in a couple of these photos, to the infamous Coach. Thanks "Selina" both for the photos and for invoking the memory of Coach.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Learn your Identity for Survivor Samoa
I was passing through Calgary recently with three bottles of Okanagan wine in the car. I thought, "hey! Lynn and I could do the Survivor draw in person for a change" (normally we do it by phone). So we opened the wine and made the draw under the watchful eye of Debbie who was also visiting Lynn (and had a head start on the wine, just for the record). I know, I know, I usually check to make sure you all still want to be in the pool but there was no time for such niceties. As a result you are in the pool. Deal with it.
In case you haven't figured all this out, a new season of Survivor is starting soon - Thursday September 17 to be exact. This one is filmed in Samoa and the website tells us it was a tough one with lots of rain and wind. While this sounds like summer in Saskatchewan to me, apparently it was tough enough that two competitors had to be evacuated. Hopefully yours was not one of those! Read on to see who we drew for you.
Debbie is paired with Laura Morett, a 37 year old office manager and fitness instructor from Salem, Oregon.
Lynn will be looking for loopholes with Monica Padilla, a 25 year old law student from San Diego California who says she intends to play the flirt card. If she wins her first purchase is going to be a designer purse. Deep.
Pat is trading shots with Erik Cardona, a 28 year old bartender and self proclaimed skirt chaser from Ontario, California (ok this guy is making me gag already - check out his bio!).
Rick will be selling the other Survivors a bill of goods along with Shannon Waters, a 45 year old sales rep and former marine from Renton, Washington. Shannon describes herself as a ball of energy who may have trouble flying under the radar.
Lisa will be living the high life with Russel Hantz, a 36 year old owner of a multi-million dollar oil tanking company from Dayton, Texas. After reading his bio I'm guessing Russel spells his name ABRASIVE. Good luck with this one Lisa.
Mitzi will be keeping trim with Danger Dave Ball, a 38 year old fitness instructor from Los Angeles, California. Dave has a fiery personality that has gotten him into hot water more than once. He is also the son of a preacher and has a degree in opera.
Georgia will be studying the game with Marisa Calihan, a 26 year old student from Cininnati, Ohio. Marisa seems to be quite wholesome and down to earth, but spectacularly beautiful. Hmmm. Time will tell.
Kathy will be paired with Natalie White, a 26 year old Pharmaceutical rep from Van Buren, Arkansas. Natalie describes herself as a true southern belle who is both scrappy and competitive. Frankly Scarlet, I don't give a damn.
Jack will be bubbling along with Ashley Trainer, a 22 year old spa sales person from Maple Grove, Minnesota. Ashley is a former competitive cheerleader who is not above manipulating the males with her womanly wiles. Gee that's a novel strategy that's not been used before.
Selina will be planning her defense with 33 year old lawyer Elizabeth Kim from New York, New York. Elizabeth says her biggest challenge will be to be assertive without being abrasive.
Jeff will be walking the beat with fellow New Hampshirean Betsy Bolan, a 48 year old cop from Campton, New Hampshire. Betsy feels being a cop will help her stand up to the jerks and alpha-males.
Pam will be mixing it up with Ben Browning a really really really good looking mixologist (that's a bartender) from Los Angeles. He's a transplanted country boy from Missouri with a strong work ethic who hates cry babies. Oh man. Pam can I trade him for my bartender?!
Roberta will be feeling no pain with Mick Trimming, a handsome 33 year old anethesiologist from Los Angeles. Don't get too excited though Roberta. After watching his online bio, this is the one that Lynn said would get her vote for "biggest whack job" of the season. Mick wants to buy a vaccuum cleaner with his winnings.
Jan will be looking good with her 23 year old T-shirt designer, Bret Clouser from Los Angeles. His bio says he is charming, funny, flirtatious and outdoorsy. He's also kind of cute. Jan...let me tell you about this bartender named Erik that I would like to trade.....
Lorelee is thumbing through documents with yet another law student, Jaison Robinson a 28 year old from Chicago, Illinois who was named Mr. California by Cosmopolitan Magazine. He is also a sporty, athletic kind of guy. Could be a keeper Lorelee!
Barb will be looking hot alongside Yasmin Giles a 33 year old hairstylist from Los Angeles. Sadly Yasmin believes that a big mouth doesn't matter once people see that you are right. This can only end badly.
Marie is also going to be well-groomed as she is paired up with another hairstylist, Kelly Sharbaugh, a 25 year old from Los Angeles. I can't really find anything funny to say about Kelly which either means its getting late or she's pretty straightforward. Maybe she'll prove me wrong.
Grace will be eating well alongside Mike Borassi, a 62 year old personal chef from Marina Del Rey, California. Although the older survivor this season, Mike has been working out with a trainer and has lost 30 pounds.
Donna will be putting her case to Russel Swan, a 42 year old lawyer from Glenside, Pennsylvania (I'm glad we are almost done because I am running out of sappy things to say about lawyers.) Russel seems like a genuinely nice guy who says he will cut off his dreadlocks if he wins Survivor.
Cheryl will be...well laughing...when she learns that she is paired with a rocket scientist. No sh**t, that's what his bio says. John Fincher is 25 years old and from Los Angeles. He says winning is his favourite hobby. I'd say making up occupations comes a close second. Of course, I can't say too much since Rick registered in Ironman Canada as a double naught spy!
So that's it. There are 20 Survivors so no one needs to pair up this time. The show begins on September 17. Once again you will have until after the first episode if you want to vote for the final winner. Please get your 10.00 to me as soon as possible. Selina only has to pay 5.00 as she overpaid last time, and Lorelee you are already paid up from last year. And Selina we are still waiting for a photo of your wearing that buff!
See you on the 17th!
In case you haven't figured all this out, a new season of Survivor is starting soon - Thursday September 17 to be exact. This one is filmed in Samoa and the website tells us it was a tough one with lots of rain and wind. While this sounds like summer in Saskatchewan to me, apparently it was tough enough that two competitors had to be evacuated. Hopefully yours was not one of those! Read on to see who we drew for you.
Debbie is paired with Laura Morett, a 37 year old office manager and fitness instructor from Salem, Oregon.
Lynn will be looking for loopholes with Monica Padilla, a 25 year old law student from San Diego California who says she intends to play the flirt card. If she wins her first purchase is going to be a designer purse. Deep.
Pat is trading shots with Erik Cardona, a 28 year old bartender and self proclaimed skirt chaser from Ontario, California (ok this guy is making me gag already - check out his bio!).
Rick will be selling the other Survivors a bill of goods along with Shannon Waters, a 45 year old sales rep and former marine from Renton, Washington. Shannon describes herself as a ball of energy who may have trouble flying under the radar.
Lisa will be living the high life with Russel Hantz, a 36 year old owner of a multi-million dollar oil tanking company from Dayton, Texas. After reading his bio I'm guessing Russel spells his name ABRASIVE. Good luck with this one Lisa.
Mitzi will be keeping trim with Danger Dave Ball, a 38 year old fitness instructor from Los Angeles, California. Dave has a fiery personality that has gotten him into hot water more than once. He is also the son of a preacher and has a degree in opera.
Georgia will be studying the game with Marisa Calihan, a 26 year old student from Cininnati, Ohio. Marisa seems to be quite wholesome and down to earth, but spectacularly beautiful. Hmmm. Time will tell.
Kathy will be paired with Natalie White, a 26 year old Pharmaceutical rep from Van Buren, Arkansas. Natalie describes herself as a true southern belle who is both scrappy and competitive. Frankly Scarlet, I don't give a damn.
Jack will be bubbling along with Ashley Trainer, a 22 year old spa sales person from Maple Grove, Minnesota. Ashley is a former competitive cheerleader who is not above manipulating the males with her womanly wiles. Gee that's a novel strategy that's not been used before.
Selina will be planning her defense with 33 year old lawyer Elizabeth Kim from New York, New York. Elizabeth says her biggest challenge will be to be assertive without being abrasive.
Jeff will be walking the beat with fellow New Hampshirean Betsy Bolan, a 48 year old cop from Campton, New Hampshire. Betsy feels being a cop will help her stand up to the jerks and alpha-males.
Pam will be mixing it up with Ben Browning a really really really good looking mixologist (that's a bartender) from Los Angeles. He's a transplanted country boy from Missouri with a strong work ethic who hates cry babies. Oh man. Pam can I trade him for my bartender?!
Roberta will be feeling no pain with Mick Trimming, a handsome 33 year old anethesiologist from Los Angeles. Don't get too excited though Roberta. After watching his online bio, this is the one that Lynn said would get her vote for "biggest whack job" of the season. Mick wants to buy a vaccuum cleaner with his winnings.
Jan will be looking good with her 23 year old T-shirt designer, Bret Clouser from Los Angeles. His bio says he is charming, funny, flirtatious and outdoorsy. He's also kind of cute. Jan...let me tell you about this bartender named Erik that I would like to trade.....
Lorelee is thumbing through documents with yet another law student, Jaison Robinson a 28 year old from Chicago, Illinois who was named Mr. California by Cosmopolitan Magazine. He is also a sporty, athletic kind of guy. Could be a keeper Lorelee!
Barb will be looking hot alongside Yasmin Giles a 33 year old hairstylist from Los Angeles. Sadly Yasmin believes that a big mouth doesn't matter once people see that you are right. This can only end badly.
Marie is also going to be well-groomed as she is paired up with another hairstylist, Kelly Sharbaugh, a 25 year old from Los Angeles. I can't really find anything funny to say about Kelly which either means its getting late or she's pretty straightforward. Maybe she'll prove me wrong.
Grace will be eating well alongside Mike Borassi, a 62 year old personal chef from Marina Del Rey, California. Although the older survivor this season, Mike has been working out with a trainer and has lost 30 pounds.
Donna will be putting her case to Russel Swan, a 42 year old lawyer from Glenside, Pennsylvania (I'm glad we are almost done because I am running out of sappy things to say about lawyers.) Russel seems like a genuinely nice guy who says he will cut off his dreadlocks if he wins Survivor.
Cheryl will be...well laughing...when she learns that she is paired with a rocket scientist. No sh**t, that's what his bio says. John Fincher is 25 years old and from Los Angeles. He says winning is his favourite hobby. I'd say making up occupations comes a close second. Of course, I can't say too much since Rick registered in Ironman Canada as a double naught spy!
So that's it. There are 20 Survivors so no one needs to pair up this time. The show begins on September 17. Once again you will have until after the first episode if you want to vote for the final winner. Please get your 10.00 to me as soon as possible. Selina only has to pay 5.00 as she overpaid last time, and Lorelee you are already paid up from last year. And Selina we are still waiting for a photo of your wearing that buff!
See you on the 17th!
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