It's night 33 in Survivorland Brazil. Debbie has gone home to her middle school students (well actually over to the jury but that doesn't sound very dramatic). Coach is in shock, having just realized that he is not actually running the show after all. The others cushion the blow by telling him that they saved him and that Debbie wanted him voted out. Coach is grateful. Coach is stupid.
The next morning the conversation turns to who should go to Exile Island next. Coach doesn't really want to go because he has suddenly and unexplainably, after 34 days, contracted asthma and back pain. Of course the Dragonslayer is willing to go if he must, but he would much rather send Taj or Erinn, fierce competitor that he is. Privately JT tells us that Coach should go to Exile Island. JT wants Coach weak for the immunity challenge so that they can vote him out.
Dimples introduces the reward challenge. With feet shackled, Survivors must race through a maze. Once through the maze they must construct a pole long enough to retrieve a sandbag suspended on a rope. They must then swing the sandbag and hit three targets. First to hit all three targets wins reward, an overnight trip to the Governor's retreat, complete with real beds, a shower and a feast. JT wins this challenge easily and chooses Coach to go to Exile Island and Stephen to accompany him on the reward. Before Coach heads off to Exile Island he tells the others that he is going to choose the monastic approach and not take any food or water or build a fire during his stay on Exile Island. Erin takes offense and tells Coach exactly how stupid his monastic approach is. He really just wants to be a martyr, says Erinn. After the confrontation JT is obviously angry with Erinn. He tells Stephen that "people are so dumb in this game. They talk way to much".
So the men-folk head off in their various directions and Taj and Erinn are left at camp. Far from feeling left out Erinn and Taj are enjoying the peace and quiet. Erinn tells Taj that she feels guilty about her tirade against Coach and hopes it will not gain her votes in Tribal Council. On Exile Island Coach is talking, and talking, and talking about how this will be a vacation, he will suntan, no food or water, no wishy washy no-character people around. He will take a spiritual journey in the manner of his ancestors the Cherokee (I'm pretty sure anyone of Cherokee ancestry is wincing during this segment). As coach fashions himself a dragon's cane he congratulates himself on getting the last word against Erinn.
At the Governor's retreat JT and Stephen are flown via private plane to a secluded wicker-furnished paradise. When they walk into the fully equipped bathroom they are both aghast at what they see in the mirror. Beards. Bad hair. Cruddy teeth. Whatever happened to the glamour of television? After a shower the two are led out to enjoy a bbq Brazilian style, which seems to consist of meat, meat and meat.
On day 36 we see Coach lying on the beach half submerged in the water. He has had no sleep, no food and no water and it has been awesome, he tells us. Yet he limps into the immunity challenge with his dragon cane like Christ carrying the cross to Calvary. Taj privately tells us that Coach is a drama queen (gee and I thought I was the only one who thought that!). The Immunity Challenge, Dimples tells them, involves two vertical posts. Survivors must brace themselves with their hands on either post and keep their feet on narrow footholds. Every 15 minutes they must move to narrower footholds. The challenge comes down to a mano et goofo between JT and Coach. Coach finally caves, falling to the ground and needing to be revived by the others. His back has been in spasm for the last 10 minutes, he tells us, bravely forgoing treatment by the medics. He is such a brave warrior, isn't he?
Back at camp JT has had a change of heart. He tells Coach that he, Coach and Stephen will vote for Erinn. Privately, in the first break between Stephen and JT, Stephen tells us he is not certain who to vote for. At Tribal Council Coach goes on another rant and reads a poem he has composed, causing much eye-rolling amongst both jury and tribe-mates. When Dimples counts the votes it is Coach and not Erinn who is heading over to the jury (where I am sure we are destined to hear more of him during the final vote). Stephen has cast his vote for Coach and not Erinn.JT looks, for the first time, like he has just realized he is not in total control. As Coach wanders over to the jury, so does Lisa from our pool. Thank you Lisa for bravely riding the roller coaster that is Coach. Rick is one of a small group who is sad to see Coach go, since he picked him to win (and I wouldn't let him change his vote). We are now down to four survivors. JT (Pat), Stephen (Lynn), Erinn (Cheryl and Selina) and Taj (Marie). Sunday is the finale. One of these four will be eliminated at Tribal Council and the remaining three will throw themselves on the mercy of the jury. Until Sunday...
Outwit, outplay, outlast
Pat ( aka JT did I almost throw Taj under the bus in favour of Coach Thomas)
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Survivor Tocantins - May 7/09
This is my very first Survivor update from beautiful Pasqua Lake. I'm still trying to decide if having a computer and internet access out here is an asset or a detriment.
But on to Survivor. Sierra is gone. Coach believes he had his way though really he had little to do with the decision. Six Survivors are left. Coach tells Debbie it is time for the Warrior Alliance to swoop down on Taj and Erinn and punish them for casting rogue votes for Stephan and Debbie at Tribal Council. Debbie agrees that this is how it should play out, but privately tells us that Coach's dialogues are getting old. Ya think? The next morning, after having an overnight epiphany, Debbie decides it is time to disengage herself from Coach. She goes to Stephen and JT with ideas for a new alliance and the expulsion of Coach. Debbie's wavering allegiance to Coach only make Stephen and JT mistrust her, in spite of her pinky swear that she will be loyal to them.
The reward challenge is a food auction. Each Survivor gets $500.00 and can bid on food items in increments of $20.00. Debbie antes up for a $120.00 plate of fries, while Coach pays $320.00 for a plate of Chicken Parmesan. The last item up for bids is a cell phone. Highest bidder on the cell phone gets a message from home and Survivors can pool their money for this one. Led by JT (MY GUY) everyone hands their remaining money over to Taj who has missing her young children and her studly husband. So Taj gets to listen to a message from Eddie the football star. She is wailing so hard by the end of the message that she misses the final words of the message "see you back at camp". Dimples calms her down enough to point out what Eddie has just said in his message. For his trouble Taj nearly rips Dimples arm off in her excitement. So Taj gets to spend the night with Eddie but there is a twist. If she makes a sacrifice and agrees to spend her time with Eddie on Exile Island, everyone can have a visit with a loved one. Taj readily agrees and scurries off to Exile Island where Eddie jumps out from behind a tree. He marvels at her weight loss, her smelliness and her armpit hair, but tells us he is turned on by her wildness. The fact that he is afraid of snakes and scorpions just gives him a new respect for his wife.
Back at camp tears are flowing as the other Survivors reunite with brothers, fathers, sisters and uh, an assistant coach?? Did I miss an actual relationship between Coach and his visitor or was he really an assistant coach? If anyone caught this please let me know.
On Day 32 the visitors head home and the strategizing recommences. Debbie again talks to JT about getting rid of Coach. JT feels Debbie is throwing Coach under a bus (Coach under a bus is wrong how? wonders Pat) and thinks he needs to watch out for a person like that. Meanwhile Coach comes to JT suggesting that Taj should go home. JT tells us he is not on the same page as Coach and that he is just telling Coach what he wants to hear. In reality JT feels he is several steps ahead of Coach in his strategy. (Pat wonders if JT would be further ahead in his strategy if he would put Coach under that bus!)
But Debbie is back. She tells JT and Stephen that they should vote together to remove Coach, then Erinn, then Taj. She sweetens the pot by telling them she will be happy with third spot and that they have nothing to fear from her. Not convinced, Stephen and JT are leaning toward sending Debbie home.
At the immunity challenge, Survivors have to dig under a log, walk across a balance beam and crawl under some ropes. Eventually they get to a series of spinning mathematical symbols which they must memorize and use to solve a mathematical equation back at the start line. JT springs off to an early lead while Stephen repeatedly falls off the balance beam. However, when it comes to memorizing the symbols Stephen has a system and only needs one trip down the course to memorize the symbols and solve the equation. Back at camp Stephen revels in his win and JT is nearly as pleased as Stephen. Together they evaluate their position. They are dominating and people are coming to them for direction. Through it all they have stuck with Taj. They are wondering, though, if Debbie is really the best choice to send home. JT tells us that Coach constantly requires reassurance, requiring that JT lie to him. JT hates lying and thinks the best solution would be to remove Coach from the game sooner rather than later. But, in the end, it seems Debbie's double dealing is her downfall. When the votes are tabulated at Tribal Council she is the one packing up her bag and heading home. With Debbie goes Jeff who is undoubtedly wondering how backstabbing Coach can be a bad thing. No one voted for Debbie to win so no one is disappointed in that area.
We are now down to five Survivors. Good luck to those still in the race. Next Thursday is the last regular Survivor and the fnale is on Sunday May 17 (yes, that is the Victoria Day weekend). Until then,
Outwit, Outplay, Outlast
Pat (aka JT Still the nice guy Thomas)
But on to Survivor. Sierra is gone. Coach believes he had his way though really he had little to do with the decision. Six Survivors are left. Coach tells Debbie it is time for the Warrior Alliance to swoop down on Taj and Erinn and punish them for casting rogue votes for Stephan and Debbie at Tribal Council. Debbie agrees that this is how it should play out, but privately tells us that Coach's dialogues are getting old. Ya think? The next morning, after having an overnight epiphany, Debbie decides it is time to disengage herself from Coach. She goes to Stephen and JT with ideas for a new alliance and the expulsion of Coach. Debbie's wavering allegiance to Coach only make Stephen and JT mistrust her, in spite of her pinky swear that she will be loyal to them.
The reward challenge is a food auction. Each Survivor gets $500.00 and can bid on food items in increments of $20.00. Debbie antes up for a $120.00 plate of fries, while Coach pays $320.00 for a plate of Chicken Parmesan. The last item up for bids is a cell phone. Highest bidder on the cell phone gets a message from home and Survivors can pool their money for this one. Led by JT (MY GUY) everyone hands their remaining money over to Taj who has missing her young children and her studly husband. So Taj gets to listen to a message from Eddie the football star. She is wailing so hard by the end of the message that she misses the final words of the message "see you back at camp". Dimples calms her down enough to point out what Eddie has just said in his message. For his trouble Taj nearly rips Dimples arm off in her excitement. So Taj gets to spend the night with Eddie but there is a twist. If she makes a sacrifice and agrees to spend her time with Eddie on Exile Island, everyone can have a visit with a loved one. Taj readily agrees and scurries off to Exile Island where Eddie jumps out from behind a tree. He marvels at her weight loss, her smelliness and her armpit hair, but tells us he is turned on by her wildness. The fact that he is afraid of snakes and scorpions just gives him a new respect for his wife.
Back at camp tears are flowing as the other Survivors reunite with brothers, fathers, sisters and uh, an assistant coach?? Did I miss an actual relationship between Coach and his visitor or was he really an assistant coach? If anyone caught this please let me know.
On Day 32 the visitors head home and the strategizing recommences. Debbie again talks to JT about getting rid of Coach. JT feels Debbie is throwing Coach under a bus (Coach under a bus is wrong how? wonders Pat) and thinks he needs to watch out for a person like that. Meanwhile Coach comes to JT suggesting that Taj should go home. JT tells us he is not on the same page as Coach and that he is just telling Coach what he wants to hear. In reality JT feels he is several steps ahead of Coach in his strategy. (Pat wonders if JT would be further ahead in his strategy if he would put Coach under that bus!)
But Debbie is back. She tells JT and Stephen that they should vote together to remove Coach, then Erinn, then Taj. She sweetens the pot by telling them she will be happy with third spot and that they have nothing to fear from her. Not convinced, Stephen and JT are leaning toward sending Debbie home.
At the immunity challenge, Survivors have to dig under a log, walk across a balance beam and crawl under some ropes. Eventually they get to a series of spinning mathematical symbols which they must memorize and use to solve a mathematical equation back at the start line. JT springs off to an early lead while Stephen repeatedly falls off the balance beam. However, when it comes to memorizing the symbols Stephen has a system and only needs one trip down the course to memorize the symbols and solve the equation. Back at camp Stephen revels in his win and JT is nearly as pleased as Stephen. Together they evaluate their position. They are dominating and people are coming to them for direction. Through it all they have stuck with Taj. They are wondering, though, if Debbie is really the best choice to send home. JT tells us that Coach constantly requires reassurance, requiring that JT lie to him. JT hates lying and thinks the best solution would be to remove Coach from the game sooner rather than later. But, in the end, it seems Debbie's double dealing is her downfall. When the votes are tabulated at Tribal Council she is the one packing up her bag and heading home. With Debbie goes Jeff who is undoubtedly wondering how backstabbing Coach can be a bad thing. No one voted for Debbie to win so no one is disappointed in that area.
We are now down to five Survivors. Good luck to those still in the race. Next Thursday is the last regular Survivor and the fnale is on Sunday May 17 (yes, that is the Victoria Day weekend). Until then,
Outwit, Outplay, Outlast
Pat (aka JT Still the nice guy Thomas)
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Survivor Tocantins - April 30/09
It's night 7. Tyson has left the building. Sierra has received the miracle she asked for. JT explains to Coach and Debbie why they weren't told that Tyson was going home. They both tell JT that it was a great idea and thank him for not telling them. Right. Privately Stephen tells us that they are just currying favour now that they realize they aren't in control, and wonders if he can trust saccharine smiles.
The next morning the general consensus seems to be that Sierra will be the next to go, followed by Erinn. Debbie nods in agreement but tells Coach that she is not happy about the Tyson incident. They wonder if they might be able to get Sierra and Erinn onside to renew the old Timbira tribe.
Dimples shows up in a rain-speckled powder blue shirt for the reward challenge. Each Survivor must privately answer a series of questions about their tribe mates. The ones who correctly guess the name mentioned most frequently for each question, get to take an ax and chop a rope belonging to another Survivor. Once all three of a Survivor's ropes have been chopped, a hammer falls on a ceramic figurine and crushes it to dust (this challenge was not suitable viewing for young children). Sierra is eliminated first and Stephen goes on to win reward. He elects to send Erinn to Exile Island so that no new person will have access to an immunity idol. He then picks JT and Taj to go with him for the reward. They go to a local farm where the family welcomes them to their home and serves them a meal. They then go to a nearby spring where there appears to be no bottom but the water pushes up from beneath and keeps them from sinking. In this odd, weightless environment they talk strategy. Meanwhile Erinn is on Exile Island. There is no new idol so her sacrifice is for nothing. It starts to rain before she can get a fire going. She sleeps in the rain and is hungry and miserable. Back at camp Coach and Debbie try to convince Sierra to reconnect their old alliance and hook up with Erinn to get an advantage over the old Jalapao tribe. Sierra is not feeling the love since, just the night before, Coach and Debbie voted for her. An indignant Coach questions her loyalty (?) and tells her she is done.
The next day Coach talks to JT and suggests that Sierra be the next to go, followed by Erinn and Taj. JT agrees. Meanwhile Sierra is talking to Stephen and telling him that she was approached by Debbie and coach to form an alliance with them. This is very different from Coach's story that Sierra approached them about an alliance. Stephen is worried about a Timbira resurgence and JT says he has a lot to think about. In the end though, JT and Stephen are leaning toward Sierra as being the one telling the truth.
The immunity challenge involves throwing a grappling hook and trying to hook a bag on a rope. The first three to collect three bags in this way move on to th final. JT, Coach and Debbie all move on. The next stage involves rolling a ball through a table maze. Coach uses his zen concentration to win this one, then brags about his skill until the others are rolling their eyes. Nevertheless, Coach wins reward and is safe for the time being. Back at camp Coach and Sierra have at it again and Sierra outs Coach in front of the others. Although Coach staunchly denies that he has ever lied, JT and Stephen both feel Sierra's story has a ring of truth to it. They wonder if the wiley Debbie should go home. On the other hand, Sierra creates drama. She is, according to Stephen, the nutty variable. At tribal council Sierra and Coach go at it again but when the votes are tabulated the nutty variable is sent packing. With Sierra goes Barb from our pool, who has dodged many bullets in this season of Survivor but couldn't do it tonight. Lorelee voted for Sierra to win so she is also abandoning all hope tonight.
There are now six survivors left Coach (Lisa), JT (Pat), Stephen(Lynn), Taj (Marie), Erinn(Chery and Selina) and Debbie (Jeff). Next week someone else will be snuffed. Here's hoping its not MY GUY (sigh). Until next week,
Outwit, Outplay, Outlast
Pat (aka JT Being in a position of power can be really confusing Thomas)
The next morning the general consensus seems to be that Sierra will be the next to go, followed by Erinn. Debbie nods in agreement but tells Coach that she is not happy about the Tyson incident. They wonder if they might be able to get Sierra and Erinn onside to renew the old Timbira tribe.
Dimples shows up in a rain-speckled powder blue shirt for the reward challenge. Each Survivor must privately answer a series of questions about their tribe mates. The ones who correctly guess the name mentioned most frequently for each question, get to take an ax and chop a rope belonging to another Survivor. Once all three of a Survivor's ropes have been chopped, a hammer falls on a ceramic figurine and crushes it to dust (this challenge was not suitable viewing for young children). Sierra is eliminated first and Stephen goes on to win reward. He elects to send Erinn to Exile Island so that no new person will have access to an immunity idol. He then picks JT and Taj to go with him for the reward. They go to a local farm where the family welcomes them to their home and serves them a meal. They then go to a nearby spring where there appears to be no bottom but the water pushes up from beneath and keeps them from sinking. In this odd, weightless environment they talk strategy. Meanwhile Erinn is on Exile Island. There is no new idol so her sacrifice is for nothing. It starts to rain before she can get a fire going. She sleeps in the rain and is hungry and miserable. Back at camp Coach and Debbie try to convince Sierra to reconnect their old alliance and hook up with Erinn to get an advantage over the old Jalapao tribe. Sierra is not feeling the love since, just the night before, Coach and Debbie voted for her. An indignant Coach questions her loyalty (?) and tells her she is done.
The next day Coach talks to JT and suggests that Sierra be the next to go, followed by Erinn and Taj. JT agrees. Meanwhile Sierra is talking to Stephen and telling him that she was approached by Debbie and coach to form an alliance with them. This is very different from Coach's story that Sierra approached them about an alliance. Stephen is worried about a Timbira resurgence and JT says he has a lot to think about. In the end though, JT and Stephen are leaning toward Sierra as being the one telling the truth.
The immunity challenge involves throwing a grappling hook and trying to hook a bag on a rope. The first three to collect three bags in this way move on to th final. JT, Coach and Debbie all move on. The next stage involves rolling a ball through a table maze. Coach uses his zen concentration to win this one, then brags about his skill until the others are rolling their eyes. Nevertheless, Coach wins reward and is safe for the time being. Back at camp Coach and Sierra have at it again and Sierra outs Coach in front of the others. Although Coach staunchly denies that he has ever lied, JT and Stephen both feel Sierra's story has a ring of truth to it. They wonder if the wiley Debbie should go home. On the other hand, Sierra creates drama. She is, according to Stephen, the nutty variable. At tribal council Sierra and Coach go at it again but when the votes are tabulated the nutty variable is sent packing. With Sierra goes Barb from our pool, who has dodged many bullets in this season of Survivor but couldn't do it tonight. Lorelee voted for Sierra to win so she is also abandoning all hope tonight.
There are now six survivors left Coach (Lisa), JT (Pat), Stephen(Lynn), Taj (Marie), Erinn(Chery and Selina) and Debbie (Jeff). Next week someone else will be snuffed. Here's hoping its not MY GUY (sigh). Until next week,
Outwit, Outplay, Outlast
Pat (aka JT Being in a position of power can be really confusing Thomas)
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Survivor Tocantins - April 23/09
It's night 24 in the Forza camp. Brendon has been blindsided and had become the first member of the jury, leaving Sierra alone to face the rest of the tribe. She asks for an audience with Dragonslayer (aka Coach Noodnik) to tell him she is sorry for voting for him but gets no sympathy.
The next morning finds Coach doing his yoga meditations and celebrating the sense of peace that comes with blindsiding someone. There is a whole lot more Dragonslayer crap that I can't go into for fear of vomiting on my keyboard. Somebody drown this guy already! Sierra continues to plead her case with anyone who will listen but realizes she is at the bottom of the food chain. Tyler tells Sierra that she isn't smart enought to have masterminded a plot and has no worth in his eyes. Needless to say Tyler is pretty sure where his next vote is going. Stephen and JT meanwhile quietly assess their position and decide that its a good one.
The reward challenge involves two teams of four running into the jungle in pairs to collect large wooden panels filled with holes. When all four panels are collected and secured to the correct base, the panels must be turned and repositioned in such a way that you can look through the aligned holes to see seven vowels. These seven vowels are then used with seven consonants and some punctuation marks to make a phrase. The red team of JT, Tyson, Erin and Debbie easily beat out the black team of Coach, Stephen, Sierra and Taj to win reward. They elect to send Stephen to Exile Island to eliminate any chance of Sierra getting any new immunity idol that may have appeared there. Then they head off to a local Brazilian village to feast and watch a demonstration of Capolera, a Brazilian martial art. Erinn is ecstatic since she has never been on reward, but the combination of gorging on food and participating in the acrobatic Capolera has Erinn puking in the bushes in front of the watchful camera lense. At Exile Island Stephen discovers yet another clue to the idol that Brendan just left with. Good thing I have all this sand to make up for it thinks poor Stephen.
On Day 26 Sierra is still pleading her case, this time with Debbie. But her fate seems to be sealed. Coach tells her she should do the honourable thing and fall on her sword like a Samurai warrior. Still, when Sierra tells Coach that he would think she was weak if she didn't try, and reminds him that he once saw something in her, Coach begins to soften just a bit. Stephen arrives back home in time for the immunity challenge. This one is a Survivor version of shuffleboard. Each throws three pucks down a board that is a topographical map complete with hills and a river. The one whose puck rests closest to the X after three shots wins. For a moment it looks like Sierra might win her immunity, but Debbie knocks her out of position and wins immunity. Back at camp Tyson gets downright nasty about Sierra and hopes that she cries a lot when she is sent home. Little does he know that in another corner Stephen is quietly suggesting that it is Tyson who should go. Erinn agrees that this would be a good chance to get rid of him when Sierra seems to be the obvious target. JT likes the plan too, but assures Coach that the Warrior Alliance is secure and tells us privately that he is torn. At Tribal Council Dimples wonders aloud why all of Coach's life experiences don't seem to mean diddley in challenges, making Coach more than a little testy. Tyson and Sierra have one more spat and then its time to cast the votes. When Dimples tabulates them it is Tyson who is going home. Tyson is incredulous, Sierra cries in relief, JT looks smug and Coach looks like someone who has just signed on to conduct the orchestra on the Titanic. Along with Tyson go both Debbie and Grace who were both riding atop Tyson's enormous ego. Georgia voted for Tyson to win so she is also shaking her head tonight at this sudden turn of events. Who will be the next to go? Will Sierra continue to hang on despite all odds? Will Coach finally get eaten by the dragon? Will JT finally realize that he and I were meant for each other and call me? Stay tuned and find out next week. Until then,
Outwit, Outplay, Outlast
Pat (aka JT maybe I made a deal with Coach but he's an ass so who cares Thomas)
The next morning finds Coach doing his yoga meditations and celebrating the sense of peace that comes with blindsiding someone. There is a whole lot more Dragonslayer crap that I can't go into for fear of vomiting on my keyboard. Somebody drown this guy already! Sierra continues to plead her case with anyone who will listen but realizes she is at the bottom of the food chain. Tyler tells Sierra that she isn't smart enought to have masterminded a plot and has no worth in his eyes. Needless to say Tyler is pretty sure where his next vote is going. Stephen and JT meanwhile quietly assess their position and decide that its a good one.
The reward challenge involves two teams of four running into the jungle in pairs to collect large wooden panels filled with holes. When all four panels are collected and secured to the correct base, the panels must be turned and repositioned in such a way that you can look through the aligned holes to see seven vowels. These seven vowels are then used with seven consonants and some punctuation marks to make a phrase. The red team of JT, Tyson, Erin and Debbie easily beat out the black team of Coach, Stephen, Sierra and Taj to win reward. They elect to send Stephen to Exile Island to eliminate any chance of Sierra getting any new immunity idol that may have appeared there. Then they head off to a local Brazilian village to feast and watch a demonstration of Capolera, a Brazilian martial art. Erinn is ecstatic since she has never been on reward, but the combination of gorging on food and participating in the acrobatic Capolera has Erinn puking in the bushes in front of the watchful camera lense. At Exile Island Stephen discovers yet another clue to the idol that Brendan just left with. Good thing I have all this sand to make up for it thinks poor Stephen.
On Day 26 Sierra is still pleading her case, this time with Debbie. But her fate seems to be sealed. Coach tells her she should do the honourable thing and fall on her sword like a Samurai warrior. Still, when Sierra tells Coach that he would think she was weak if she didn't try, and reminds him that he once saw something in her, Coach begins to soften just a bit. Stephen arrives back home in time for the immunity challenge. This one is a Survivor version of shuffleboard. Each throws three pucks down a board that is a topographical map complete with hills and a river. The one whose puck rests closest to the X after three shots wins. For a moment it looks like Sierra might win her immunity, but Debbie knocks her out of position and wins immunity. Back at camp Tyson gets downright nasty about Sierra and hopes that she cries a lot when she is sent home. Little does he know that in another corner Stephen is quietly suggesting that it is Tyson who should go. Erinn agrees that this would be a good chance to get rid of him when Sierra seems to be the obvious target. JT likes the plan too, but assures Coach that the Warrior Alliance is secure and tells us privately that he is torn. At Tribal Council Dimples wonders aloud why all of Coach's life experiences don't seem to mean diddley in challenges, making Coach more than a little testy. Tyson and Sierra have one more spat and then its time to cast the votes. When Dimples tabulates them it is Tyson who is going home. Tyson is incredulous, Sierra cries in relief, JT looks smug and Coach looks like someone who has just signed on to conduct the orchestra on the Titanic. Along with Tyson go both Debbie and Grace who were both riding atop Tyson's enormous ego. Georgia voted for Tyson to win so she is also shaking her head tonight at this sudden turn of events. Who will be the next to go? Will Sierra continue to hang on despite all odds? Will Coach finally get eaten by the dragon? Will JT finally realize that he and I were meant for each other and call me? Stay tuned and find out next week. Until then,
Outwit, Outplay, Outlast
Pat (aka JT maybe I made a deal with Coach but he's an ass so who cares Thomas)
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Survivor Tocantins - April 16
It's night 21. Joe has been evacuated to have his infected leg treated. The tribe is sitting around the campfire in a funk. Coach seeks to cheer them up by sharing a piece of his life. He tells them a story that he "has only told to 2-3 other people". Our coach was kayaking down the Amazon having been dropped into the wilderness by a miltary helicopter. He was set upon by some 4 foot aboriginal peoples with bows and arrows. They grabbed him and tied him to a stake and beat him with clubs causing him to black out several times. Fortunately, just before being killed, he was able to wear through the rope, escape and paddle for two days to freedom . National Geographic got wind of the story and wanted to come and join him but Coach told them "no way - this trip is about me being by myself". As this story unwinds there is absolute, total, deafening silence around the fire. Looks are exchanged, eyebrows are raised and lowered but not a sound is heard. Finally a puzzled Brendon asks the obvious question "So how much does it cost to get a military helicopter to drop you in there?" Well ok maybe its not the question I would have asked. Your editor would have asked something like "if you only told 3 people in all these years, how did National Geographic hear about it before you even got home from the Amazon?" Another good question might be "Do we all look like we just fell off turnip trucks?". Brendon sums it up for everyone when he tells us that Coach is lying and if he's lying about this what else does he lie about.
The next morning the Power Alliance of JT, Debbie, Tyson and Coach meets to confirm that Brendon is still the next one to go home. Coach tells us (again) that he is the Dragonslayer and Brendon is the Dragon's head. About Sierra he says she is the dragon's bowel movement and will be the next to go. Coach tells us (again) that he is in total control of the game. No coach. Mostly people are just laughing at you. Meanwhile other friendships are percolating. Erin chats with JT and confesses that she has no alliances among her form tribe-mates now that Joe is gone. She admits that she like JT's tribe better than her own. JT knows that he can go to Erinn for help if he needs it.
For the reward challenge three teams of three each must throw metal balls and try to break tiles belonging to one of the other teams. The last tribe to have one of their eight tiles unbroken wins reward - a white water rafting trip, followed by a picnic of sandwiches, chicken wings and brownies. The team of JT, Brendon and Debbie win this one and select Stephen to go to Exile Island (this time, alone).
So Stephen heads off to Exile Island where he successfully makes a fire for the very first time. He tells us this is like giving birth to his very first child. He just wants to tend the fire for the rest of his life. On the rafting trip, other firsts are being had. JT has never been on a white water rafting trip before and he is having the time of his life. Brendon comments on the look of delight on JT's face and says he is a "good soul". Brendon knows that if he goes to the final two with Brendon he won't win, but says that having JT win would be a victory. I'm really happy you feel that way Brendon because the dreamy JT is MY GUY! The whole thing begins to get a little creepy when, the next morning, Brendon tells us that he has been up the whole night trying to figure out how to get JT to the final. He tells Sierra that there is a new plan. JT is in and Coach is out. Good plan says Sierra who is also, apparently a huge JT fan. Did I mention JT is MY GUY?
As usual, the juicy conniving is interupted by Dimples and an immunity challenge. In this one each survivor is attached to a long rope which is wound through a series of wooden frames. The goal is to wind, twist, roll and crochet your way through the obstacles following the path your rope takes you. The first three to finish move on the the final where the obstacles are three levels high. Tyson JT and Brendon all move on to the final, but its Tyson who wins immunity for the second time in a row. Its a complicated few hours before tribal council. Brendon thinks he is in control and gets his Exile Island Alliance on board to send Coach home. Coach thinks he is in control and rallies the Power Alliance to send Brendon home. JT thinks maybe he and Stephen are the ones who are really in control since they seem to be on all the alliances. And finally everyone says JT is going home even though no one intends to vote for him so that no one will know who they are really voting for. Phew! At Tribal Council Dimples questions Coach about his Amazon adventure and gets Coach to add the part he had hesitated to tell the others before - that the Amazon tribesmen had actually been talking about eating his ass. Dimples gets a look on his face like he has just discovered a crushed cockroach on his best blue shirt. One can only imagine the laughter among the Survivor cameramen and crew members after this one! Brendon, believing that Coach is going home doesn't bother playing his immunity idol and when the votes are cast it is he who watches his torch being snuffed. Along with Brendon goes Rick. Also crying in their beer tonight are Lynn and I who both picked Brendon to win the big money.
There are now eight surviving Survivors JT, Taj, Tyson, Sierra, Coach, Debbie, Stephen and Erinn. Soon one more will be gone. Who will it be?
Until next week,
Outwit, Outplay Outlast
Pat (aka JT Everyone loves me Thomas)
The next morning the Power Alliance of JT, Debbie, Tyson and Coach meets to confirm that Brendon is still the next one to go home. Coach tells us (again) that he is the Dragonslayer and Brendon is the Dragon's head. About Sierra he says she is the dragon's bowel movement and will be the next to go. Coach tells us (again) that he is in total control of the game. No coach. Mostly people are just laughing at you. Meanwhile other friendships are percolating. Erin chats with JT and confesses that she has no alliances among her form tribe-mates now that Joe is gone. She admits that she like JT's tribe better than her own. JT knows that he can go to Erinn for help if he needs it.
For the reward challenge three teams of three each must throw metal balls and try to break tiles belonging to one of the other teams. The last tribe to have one of their eight tiles unbroken wins reward - a white water rafting trip, followed by a picnic of sandwiches, chicken wings and brownies. The team of JT, Brendon and Debbie win this one and select Stephen to go to Exile Island (this time, alone).
So Stephen heads off to Exile Island where he successfully makes a fire for the very first time. He tells us this is like giving birth to his very first child. He just wants to tend the fire for the rest of his life. On the rafting trip, other firsts are being had. JT has never been on a white water rafting trip before and he is having the time of his life. Brendon comments on the look of delight on JT's face and says he is a "good soul". Brendon knows that if he goes to the final two with Brendon he won't win, but says that having JT win would be a victory. I'm really happy you feel that way Brendon because the dreamy JT is MY GUY! The whole thing begins to get a little creepy when, the next morning, Brendon tells us that he has been up the whole night trying to figure out how to get JT to the final. He tells Sierra that there is a new plan. JT is in and Coach is out. Good plan says Sierra who is also, apparently a huge JT fan. Did I mention JT is MY GUY?
As usual, the juicy conniving is interupted by Dimples and an immunity challenge. In this one each survivor is attached to a long rope which is wound through a series of wooden frames. The goal is to wind, twist, roll and crochet your way through the obstacles following the path your rope takes you. The first three to finish move on the the final where the obstacles are three levels high. Tyson JT and Brendon all move on to the final, but its Tyson who wins immunity for the second time in a row. Its a complicated few hours before tribal council. Brendon thinks he is in control and gets his Exile Island Alliance on board to send Coach home. Coach thinks he is in control and rallies the Power Alliance to send Brendon home. JT thinks maybe he and Stephen are the ones who are really in control since they seem to be on all the alliances. And finally everyone says JT is going home even though no one intends to vote for him so that no one will know who they are really voting for. Phew! At Tribal Council Dimples questions Coach about his Amazon adventure and gets Coach to add the part he had hesitated to tell the others before - that the Amazon tribesmen had actually been talking about eating his ass. Dimples gets a look on his face like he has just discovered a crushed cockroach on his best blue shirt. One can only imagine the laughter among the Survivor cameramen and crew members after this one! Brendon, believing that Coach is going home doesn't bother playing his immunity idol and when the votes are cast it is he who watches his torch being snuffed. Along with Brendon goes Rick. Also crying in their beer tonight are Lynn and I who both picked Brendon to win the big money.
There are now eight surviving Survivors JT, Taj, Tyson, Sierra, Coach, Debbie, Stephen and Erinn. Soon one more will be gone. Who will it be?
Until next week,
Outwit, Outplay Outlast
Pat (aka JT Everyone loves me Thomas)
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Survivor Tocantins - April 9/09
Its night 18 and there are 10 valiant survivors left in Brazil. Sydney has been sent home and Taj is glad it wasn't her. Joe is feeling like the odd man out among the four remaining Jalopods.
The next morning finds Coach standing in the water doing a yoga meditation thing. He tells us that all the annoying things about life at camp have been getting bottled up inside him but during his morning meditation it "clicked" and he suddenly realized that "Its all about me now"**. His strategy is now to pacify and get along with the tribe (something most of us would call being nice). It seems to work with Erinn who purrs underneath a Coach-administered back rub and tells us she likes the "new Coach".
At Jalapoa Joe's leg is inflamed and swollen. The other three are concerned about him and his ability to help the tribe out in challenges. And speaking of challenges, tree mail arrives talking about feasts and spinning heads. The Survivors aren't sure if its a challenge or not but the feast part is pretty clear. Somebody's gonna get some eats. They arrive at the location to find a feast laid out in front of them and no Dimples in sight. There is a note however, telling them to put on their new green buffs, choose a new tribe name and get ready to live as one happy tribe at the former Timbira camp. First though, they have some eating to do. Jalapao is particularly happy about the feast since they haven't won anything in a while. As the tribes visit and get to know one another Sierra decides to pop the question all enquiring Timbirans want to know - why the last two votes at Tribal Council? Unwilling to reveal any state secrets the Jalapaoruvians suddenly become tight lipped. JT laments the numeric disadvantage that Jalapoa finds themselves in, but wonders if he can find and exploit some conflicts in the Timbira tribe.
The newly minted tribe Forza heads back to camp where JT is unimpressed with the shelter but Taj is lovin' the swing. Coach quickly decides he likes JT because they are both "warriors" and they hunker right down beside the old fishing hole to talk strategy. JT tells Coach that Taj doesn't have the idol, confirming Coach's suspicion that Brendon has it and has been lying to his tribe. Coach wants a new alliance of Coach, Tyler, Stephen and JT and he wants to get rid of Brendan. JT is pleased to be causing unrest among the former Timbirans and Stephen calls Timbira a fractured tribe.
On day 20 JT and Tyler are fishing together and firming up their friendship. Again the consensus is that Brendan has to go. For her part Taj is wondering what happened to the Exile Island alliance she was so pumped about. Neither Brendan or Sierra has made any effort to approach her or Stephen and she wonders if they have decided to side with their former tribe instead. But privately Brendan tells us that the alliance is only worthwhile when there are only 5 or 6 of them left. Huddled in the rain, everyone tells Brendan that Joe is the one going home. Tyler brags to the camera that he is in total control of the game.
Meanwhile Erinn and Joe decide to go looking for the idol. When its not where Joe says it should be they deduce that either Brendan or Sierra has it. Not a problem says Erinn. We'll just get rid of both of them.
At the immunity challenge, Dimples in powder blue, explains that Survivors must climb up a grooved wooden pole and hang onto it for as long as possible. The last to come off wins immunity. Stephen is the first down followed by Joe. One by one the others drop off until only Tyler and Debbie are left. Tyler outlasts Debbie to win reward. Dimples keeps Joe back to have a medic look at his infected leg and the news isn't good. Apparently the Survivor producers are reluctant to have a lawyer die of blood poisoning during filming.
At camp Tyson is determined to get rid of Brendan but JT worries that if Brendan plays the idol he will be the one heading home. JT and Stephen hatch a plot to split the votes between Sierra and Brendan. They share the plan with Tyson, who shares it with Coach who promptly claims it as his own and proclaims himself Dragonslayer. Has there ever been a survivor quite so full of himself? But all of the scheming has to be put on hold when Dimples arrives at camp to tell them that Joe is being airlifted out of the jungle for medical attention. As a result no one is going to Tribal Council but we still lose two pool members, Georgia and Jan. Donna voted for Joe to win so she is also sad. We leave the Survivors with Tyler wondering if they will be able to keep Brendan in the dark until the next Tribal Council thus keeping him from playing the idol. Stay tuned!
Until next week,
Outwit, Outplay, Outlast
Pat (aka JT everybody's good buddy Thomas)
** Editors note. For Coach to think its all about him is ridiculous. As Rick will tell you its all about Pat. Always.
The next morning finds Coach standing in the water doing a yoga meditation thing. He tells us that all the annoying things about life at camp have been getting bottled up inside him but during his morning meditation it "clicked" and he suddenly realized that "Its all about me now"**. His strategy is now to pacify and get along with the tribe (something most of us would call being nice). It seems to work with Erinn who purrs underneath a Coach-administered back rub and tells us she likes the "new Coach".
At Jalapoa Joe's leg is inflamed and swollen. The other three are concerned about him and his ability to help the tribe out in challenges. And speaking of challenges, tree mail arrives talking about feasts and spinning heads. The Survivors aren't sure if its a challenge or not but the feast part is pretty clear. Somebody's gonna get some eats. They arrive at the location to find a feast laid out in front of them and no Dimples in sight. There is a note however, telling them to put on their new green buffs, choose a new tribe name and get ready to live as one happy tribe at the former Timbira camp. First though, they have some eating to do. Jalapao is particularly happy about the feast since they haven't won anything in a while. As the tribes visit and get to know one another Sierra decides to pop the question all enquiring Timbirans want to know - why the last two votes at Tribal Council? Unwilling to reveal any state secrets the Jalapaoruvians suddenly become tight lipped. JT laments the numeric disadvantage that Jalapoa finds themselves in, but wonders if he can find and exploit some conflicts in the Timbira tribe.
The newly minted tribe Forza heads back to camp where JT is unimpressed with the shelter but Taj is lovin' the swing. Coach quickly decides he likes JT because they are both "warriors" and they hunker right down beside the old fishing hole to talk strategy. JT tells Coach that Taj doesn't have the idol, confirming Coach's suspicion that Brendon has it and has been lying to his tribe. Coach wants a new alliance of Coach, Tyler, Stephen and JT and he wants to get rid of Brendan. JT is pleased to be causing unrest among the former Timbirans and Stephen calls Timbira a fractured tribe.
On day 20 JT and Tyler are fishing together and firming up their friendship. Again the consensus is that Brendan has to go. For her part Taj is wondering what happened to the Exile Island alliance she was so pumped about. Neither Brendan or Sierra has made any effort to approach her or Stephen and she wonders if they have decided to side with their former tribe instead. But privately Brendan tells us that the alliance is only worthwhile when there are only 5 or 6 of them left. Huddled in the rain, everyone tells Brendan that Joe is the one going home. Tyler brags to the camera that he is in total control of the game.
Meanwhile Erinn and Joe decide to go looking for the idol. When its not where Joe says it should be they deduce that either Brendan or Sierra has it. Not a problem says Erinn. We'll just get rid of both of them.
At the immunity challenge, Dimples in powder blue, explains that Survivors must climb up a grooved wooden pole and hang onto it for as long as possible. The last to come off wins immunity. Stephen is the first down followed by Joe. One by one the others drop off until only Tyler and Debbie are left. Tyler outlasts Debbie to win reward. Dimples keeps Joe back to have a medic look at his infected leg and the news isn't good. Apparently the Survivor producers are reluctant to have a lawyer die of blood poisoning during filming.
At camp Tyson is determined to get rid of Brendan but JT worries that if Brendan plays the idol he will be the one heading home. JT and Stephen hatch a plot to split the votes between Sierra and Brendan. They share the plan with Tyson, who shares it with Coach who promptly claims it as his own and proclaims himself Dragonslayer. Has there ever been a survivor quite so full of himself? But all of the scheming has to be put on hold when Dimples arrives at camp to tell them that Joe is being airlifted out of the jungle for medical attention. As a result no one is going to Tribal Council but we still lose two pool members, Georgia and Jan. Donna voted for Joe to win so she is also sad. We leave the Survivors with Tyler wondering if they will be able to keep Brendan in the dark until the next Tribal Council thus keeping him from playing the idol. Stay tuned!
Until next week,
Outwit, Outplay, Outlast
Pat (aka JT everybody's good buddy Thomas)
** Editors note. For Coach to think its all about him is ridiculous. As Rick will tell you its all about Pat. Always.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Survivor Tocantins - April 2, 2009
Its day 16. Spencer is gone. In Camp Jalapoa Sydney is feeling she may be next. But Joe reassures here that she is safe "because she is gorgeous and he has a little thing for her". Now that's strategy! JT tells us that things are getting strange, but says he has been honest and will continue to be (sigh...that's MY guy). Taj wants to tell JT that she has the idol but Stephen doesn't think this is such a good idea. Its not that Stephen doesn't want JT to know, he just wants to continue to be the go-between. Direct Taj/JT contact isn't in his best interest. Besides, Stephen isn't so sure he is ready to bring JT into their alliance.
At Timbira Coach is working his personal magic yet again. Believing the pot of cooked beans are not soft enough he dumps some dirty river water in. This means having to boil the beans even longer. It starts to rain and Coach heads for cover. By the time the rain is over the beans have burned to the bottom of the pot. Sierra isn't happy and says so. Coach says there is no need to blame anyone and gives an apology as phony as two dollar bill. Brendan is not pleased with Coach either but tells us that Coach is predictable. I have a feeling Coach would consider being predictable the worst insult of all.
So its time for a challenge. In this one each team is given five minutes to build a barricade inside the other tribe's frame. Then the tribes must try to throw ceramic pigs (yes, you read that correctly) through the barricade. The tribe to successfully get the most pigs through the barricade without breaking them in the five minute time limit wins reward. This is a close one but Timbira wins thanks to some fine tossing and catching by Tyson, Coach and Sierra. Timbira elects to send Joe to Exile Island and Joe chooses Erin to go with him (because she is a fine looking woman).
Timbira heads off to enjoy their reward - a barbeque by a waterfall, complete with burgers, watermelon, chips and beverages. The group eats "like animals" ** then play in the pond below the falls. At Exile Island Joe insists that Erin chose her urn first. Hers contains the clues to the hidden immunity idol. Erin figures out that the idols are hidden back at their respective camps and can hardly wait to tell Joe that he too can have an idol once he gets back to camp. But back at Camp Jalopoa Stephen and Taj are participating in what has become a Survivor tradition...the making of the fake idol. Taj puts together some leather and some feathers and hides it under the grass skirt of the tree mail statue. She then hides her real idol in a bag. JT goes hunting for a bag to take fishing and finds the idol. He talks to Stephen about it and Stephen tries (badly) to play innocent. But when Taj comes back to camp she shows JT the idol and tells him and Stephen that if they need it they can have it. Thus JT's trust in Taj is cemented. The three tuck the idol into Stephen's dress pants pocket for safe keeping.
Joe and Erinn arrive back from Exile Island in time for the immunity challenge. In this one tribe members must use a slingshot to break a ceramic tile. Breaking the tile releases sand and when enough sand runs through the hole, a bag of puzzle pieces is released. The first tribe to get all three bags and correctly assemble their puzzle wins immunity. JT and Tyson duke it out with the slingshots but Tyson gets all three of his bags first and Timbira goes on to win immunity.
Back at camp JT is apologetic for not winning the challenge, Joe is nursing a festering wound on his leg, and Joe gallops off to find the immunity idol (which is fake but he doesn't know that). Sydney and Joe are convinced that Taj is going home. JT and Stephen try to convince Joe that Taj should stay since she has such great connections in the other tribe. But Joe won't be convinced to send Sydney home instead of Taj. That is when the dark forces begin to speak to Stephen and my JT. Stephen has the idol hidden in his pants. They can vote Taj off and keep the idol. JT is torn with this decision and says he is going to hell. Still when the votes are counted at Tribal Council, it seems my hero had a change of heart. It is Sydney who loses the vote and has to go home. With Sydney goes Jack from the pool who can now take that Sydney pin-up poster off his bedroom wall. No one voted for Sydney to win the million so Jack is alone in his sorrow.
Until next week
Outwit, outplay outlast
Pat (aka JT see I still have scruples Thomas)
**Editors note: re the phrase eating like animals...it should be noted there was a shot of a monkey and he was eating quite demurely...unlike the humans.
At Timbira Coach is working his personal magic yet again. Believing the pot of cooked beans are not soft enough he dumps some dirty river water in. This means having to boil the beans even longer. It starts to rain and Coach heads for cover. By the time the rain is over the beans have burned to the bottom of the pot. Sierra isn't happy and says so. Coach says there is no need to blame anyone and gives an apology as phony as two dollar bill. Brendan is not pleased with Coach either but tells us that Coach is predictable. I have a feeling Coach would consider being predictable the worst insult of all.
So its time for a challenge. In this one each team is given five minutes to build a barricade inside the other tribe's frame. Then the tribes must try to throw ceramic pigs (yes, you read that correctly) through the barricade. The tribe to successfully get the most pigs through the barricade without breaking them in the five minute time limit wins reward. This is a close one but Timbira wins thanks to some fine tossing and catching by Tyson, Coach and Sierra. Timbira elects to send Joe to Exile Island and Joe chooses Erin to go with him (because she is a fine looking woman).
Timbira heads off to enjoy their reward - a barbeque by a waterfall, complete with burgers, watermelon, chips and beverages. The group eats "like animals" ** then play in the pond below the falls. At Exile Island Joe insists that Erin chose her urn first. Hers contains the clues to the hidden immunity idol. Erin figures out that the idols are hidden back at their respective camps and can hardly wait to tell Joe that he too can have an idol once he gets back to camp. But back at Camp Jalopoa Stephen and Taj are participating in what has become a Survivor tradition...the making of the fake idol. Taj puts together some leather and some feathers and hides it under the grass skirt of the tree mail statue. She then hides her real idol in a bag. JT goes hunting for a bag to take fishing and finds the idol. He talks to Stephen about it and Stephen tries (badly) to play innocent. But when Taj comes back to camp she shows JT the idol and tells him and Stephen that if they need it they can have it. Thus JT's trust in Taj is cemented. The three tuck the idol into Stephen's dress pants pocket for safe keeping.
Joe and Erinn arrive back from Exile Island in time for the immunity challenge. In this one tribe members must use a slingshot to break a ceramic tile. Breaking the tile releases sand and when enough sand runs through the hole, a bag of puzzle pieces is released. The first tribe to get all three bags and correctly assemble their puzzle wins immunity. JT and Tyson duke it out with the slingshots but Tyson gets all three of his bags first and Timbira goes on to win immunity.
Back at camp JT is apologetic for not winning the challenge, Joe is nursing a festering wound on his leg, and Joe gallops off to find the immunity idol (which is fake but he doesn't know that). Sydney and Joe are convinced that Taj is going home. JT and Stephen try to convince Joe that Taj should stay since she has such great connections in the other tribe. But Joe won't be convinced to send Sydney home instead of Taj. That is when the dark forces begin to speak to Stephen and my JT. Stephen has the idol hidden in his pants. They can vote Taj off and keep the idol. JT is torn with this decision and says he is going to hell. Still when the votes are counted at Tribal Council, it seems my hero had a change of heart. It is Sydney who loses the vote and has to go home. With Sydney goes Jack from the pool who can now take that Sydney pin-up poster off his bedroom wall. No one voted for Sydney to win the million so Jack is alone in his sorrow.
Until next week
Outwit, outplay outlast
Pat (aka JT see I still have scruples Thomas)
**Editors note: re the phrase eating like animals...it should be noted there was a shot of a monkey and he was eating quite demurely...unlike the humans.
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