Survivor South Pacific Sept 28

First of all, Happy Birthday Pat!

Ding Dong, Avon calling... No it's just Christine waking Semhar at Redemption Island. They exchange mean tribe stories. Christine says Coach disliked her from the start. Wonder why Christine? Does the comment "temporary player" ring a bell?

Back at Upolu, Mikayla is shaken by Brandon's antagonism towards her. Brandon says he shouldn't have lied. He is a good Christian man and he is not like his Uncle Russell. In the morning, Tree Mail is an invite to Redemption Island. Coach immediately asks to go, followed by Stacey. Ozzy and Elyse are the watchers for Savaii. The Redemption Island challenge requires the competitors to balance a small totem on a pole. Every few minutes, they have to add another section of pole. The first one to drop their totem is gonzo. Competitors start your poems. At least, I guess that's what Jeff said because Semhar is reciting a spoken word piece about her imaginary boyfriend. Not sure what that had to do with the challenge, but judging by the eye rolling it was an opus. Semhar may have the words, but Christine had the balance. Christine tells us she's going to do a run like Matt did last year. As Semhar leaves, so does our Marie. It was short but sweet; as the first evictee, Marie gets a $10 refund.

Brandon has something to get off his chest (again). He decides to reveal his Hantz connection to the rest of Upolu. He tells them he is a good Christian man and is not like his Uncle Russell. Yeah, they're not buying that. Coach commends Brandon for his honesty, but tells the camera it wasn't a very smart move.

Ozzy the Fisher King also has a secret he's bursting to share. What is with these people??? He tells his most trusted ally, Keith, that he found the Idol. Ozzy, Ozzy, have you learned nothing throughout your Survivor journey? Keith immediately tells Whitney, but swears her to secrecy.

Mikayla is still stewing over at Upolu. She decides to call Brandon out because she doesn't know what she has done to make him dislike her so much. Brandon doesn't like this, but as a Christian he is willing to turn the other cheek. But before that cheek tilts to the other side, he must call a group meeting to shame Mikayla for not accepting his apology. Awkward!! He tells the group he just wants to be honest. He is a good Christian man and he is not like his Uncle Russell. Does anyone else have anything to say? Noooo, because none of them want to engage the crazy little man. Coach tells us privately that Brandon's behaviour is a form of aggression, a different type of aggression than Uncle Russell's, but still aggression. Sigh... I am so sad. When I learned Coach was going to be on Survivor, I gathered my repertoire of Coach jokes. He was going to make my three weeks of Survivor scribedom a slam dunk. Something is wrong, he is actually making sense. Coach, you let me down buddy. I'm shredding my jokes as we speak.

The Immunity Challenge tonight is possibly the most complicated challenge I've seen. Here goes... Each tribe is given a body board with a rope attached to it. Some of the tribe members must work a giant reel to release the rope, as another Survivor runs with the board across a floating bridge to a raft with bags of puzzle pieces. When they get their puzzle bag, they are pulled back through the water on their body board. Each team has to get five bags of puzzle pieces. Brandon proves he's got some game here. He is not like his Uncle Russell. He gets Upolu off to a significant lead, but Upolu doesn't keep it. This part of the challenge is neck and neck, with the two teams fighting hard. Upolu has all its bags first. Now two other tribe members on a high platform must use a grappling hook to lift the puzzle bags. Coach is the hero here as he pulls all five bags up very quickly. Whitney does a great job for Savaii too, but struggles with the final bag. Finally, Elyse steps in and brings the last bag home. The puzzle bags contain banners which much be hung over the platform railing to solve the puzzle. Savaii doesn't manage to catch up and Upolu wins Immunity and Reward. What a reward. COFFEE, tea, chocolate, sugar, milk, and cookies. The best thing about Upolu winning is that the focus comes off Brandon and we don't need to hear again that he is a good Christian man and he is not like his Uncle Russell.

At Savaii, Jim tells us that Mark aka Papa Bear, has to go. He should have been the first to go. Jim must have selective memory because previously he was adamant that Semhar be voted off. Perhaps Jim is test driving a little too much of the product he sells. Papa Bear and Cochran are well aware that they are the outsiders. Papa Bear is the oldest and Cochran is the geekiest. Papa Bear decides he needs to find the Idol. Elyse witnesses him sprinting off into the jungle. Soon a tracking party is watching Papa Bear digging through the dirt like a dog looking for a lost bone. But alas, no idol for Papa. So in an age old Survivor tradition he makes himself a fake idol and stuffs it down his shorts. As Papa's package has grown considerably since Cochran last saw him, Cochran is pretty sure he knows what the wily bear is trying to do. Everyone else starts scrambling as they fear Papa has the idol. Everyone except Ozzy, Keith, and Whitney. Because Ozzy hasn't told the whole group he has the Idol. That will probably be next week. Cochran isn't falling for the idol fake-out though and he happens to mention that possibility at Tribal. So despite some last minute strategy, Papa Bear will be fighting it out at Redemption Island with Christine.

On a personal note, I feel like we have been victimized by false advertising. Where are those fine abs Albert is displaying on the website? I don't recall any close up shots of a shirtless Albert yet, but this intrepid reporter will be raising her concerns with CBS.

Stacey (I want to see Albert's abs too) Powell