Survivor Gabon - November 20, 2008

After a week of broken computers and injured knees, its good to sit in the relative safety of my office chair behind a working computer with a nice glass of South African Shiraz. Alas my alter ego was not so fortunate. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Oh this was such a juicy episode. Ooops. Still ahead of myself.


Its night 27 and Charlie has been sent smiling off into the night to be reunited with Marcus on the jury. Randy is thankful that he's still around. Its clear that the balance of power has shifted to Crystal, Ken, Matty and Sugar. Randy and Corinne are still tight though, and know they need to get Matty onside if they want to survive. Meanwhile, Bob shows Sugar the fake idol he created on his last visit to Exile Island. She is thrilled but privately wonders what Bob's strategy is for showing it to her. I must say I was wondering the same thing.


Tree mail arrives promising food at a cost. We wiley Survivor veterans know what that means...a food auction. Sure enough, each Survivor is given $500 with which to bid. They can't pool their money or share their food. Randy starts the bidding by buying a beer. Ken then buys a covered plate which Dimples reveals isn't food at all. Instead Ken has purchased the right to send a tribe mate to Exile Island and take all his money. Ken picks Bob who heads off without having an opportunity to purchase anything. Sugar buys some chocolate chunks buried in peanut butter and Susie buys a hot bath. Randy has finished his beer so he buys some spaghetti, garlic toast and wine. Corinne buys a sealed bottle which Dimples assures her will help her in the next challenge. The final reward goes to Randy who buys a tray of cookies that must be shared with the tribe. The trouble is the tray is one cookie short. Sugar at first refuses one, but ends up taking the last cookie and giving it to Matty, leaving Randy without one. This pisses Randy off and he tells us that Sugar can kiss his ass and that he is going to "turn it up a notch".



On the way back to camp Matty thanks Sugar for the cookie. Randy points out to Matty that he had two cookies while Randy had none. Matty seems genuinely surprised. No doubt, somewhere in the US, one of Matty's high school math teachers is shaking her head in exasperation wondering where she went wrong. Randy isn't blaming Matty though, especially since he and Corinne really need to get Matty into their alliance. There is a plot afoot to oust Randy but Matty is pushing to get Bob out instead. Sugar notes that Matty is suddenly "playing the game". Matty IS playing the game. In fact he has the outcome all figured out. It's Bob, then Randy then Corinne he tells us. Not knowing he is at the top of Matty's hit list, Bob is taking a personal safari on Exile Island. He climbs to the top of a large hill with a spectacular view and decides that his trip to Africa has been worth it, no matter what happens.


On the morning of day 30 Randy bounds out to tell Corinne that he has been awake all night hatching a plan. Those of us who have spent some sleepless nights plotting revenge will know that its often better to catch up on your sleep before you follow through with your plan. Randy has not learned this lesson. He tells Corinne that he is going to "burn down the house". He is going to be obnoxious and make everybody mad. So far it sounds like business as usual for Randy. But wait. There's more. He is going to get everyone so mad at him that they will vote for him at tribal council. But first he is going to get the immunity idol from Bob (after all Bob must have it because Sugar is too dumb, right?). Bob will feel sorry for him and just hand the idol over. Susie will get the second most votes and be sent home and Randy will be supreme ultimate commander of the universe. Geez what could go wrong with a plan like that?



The first part of Randy's plan works flawlessly. He offends everyone. Matty says he is a 49 year old talking like a two year old. Sugar says he is a troll who has to go. The only break in the painful monotony of Randywhining is the immunity challenge. This is kind of a cool challenge where Survivors must carry bags of puzzle pieces over a balance beam. The first two to get their three bags to the other side wins. Winners Matty and Ken are joined by Corinne (this was what she purchased in a sealed bottle at the reward challenge). The three of them must open their bags, take out all the wooden blocks and line them up domino-fashion along a long wooden track with lots of hills and valleys. Once they have the blocks set up satisfactorily they must knock over the first one and make the whole row go down, ultimately releasing a flag for the win. Matty and Corinne's dominoes stop mid-way. But Ken's go all the way and release the flag.


Back at camp, Randy is sure he needs the idol, but he is also sure that he is in total control of the game. Sugar urges Bob to vote against Randy and tells him she is sure Randy will fall for his faux idol. Bob knows the idol is not going to save him in a vote, but it might buy him favours with the other alliance. Bob flashes the idol briefly in Randy's presence, then quickly puts it away. A smug Randy tells him to be careful. Bob offers the idol to Randy and they meet in the forest to make the exchange. By this time I am climbing out of my skin with embarassment for Randy. He is, after all, my guy! But above my protestations Randy proclaims that the idol looks genuine. The hook goes in a little deeper. At Tribal Council, the votes are cast. Instead of the muffled whisper in which most survivors usually explain why they are voting the way they are, Crystal speaks up loud and clear to let it be known she is voting for Randy. It only makes him look more smug. When Dimples (in a plum coloured shirt of all things) asks if anyone has an immunity idol, Randy proudly steps forward with Bob's craft project. The other survivors can hardly contain themselves, and Charlie and Marcus on the jury pick up on it. Everyone is doubled over in laughter as Jeff tells Randy that what he has produced is not an immunity idol. By now the tears are flowing people are laughing so hard. And surprise of surprises, Randy has the majority of the votes. In one of the more bitter departure speeches I've heard, Randy tells us that "being voted out by these bozos is the biggest accolade of all". We don't need to understand it folks. All we need to know is that Randy is gone and so am I. Since no one voted for Randy to win the million, I am the only sad soul tonight.

Until next week,
Outwit, Outplay, Outlast
Pat (aka Randy I can't understand why making them hate me didn't work Bailey)