I was very excited about watching Survivor on High Definition, then crushed to learn that it started an hour earlier on the high def channels and that I had already missed half of it. No matter though. I didn't need high def to tell me that Gabon is beautiful, there are 18 Survivors out hiking with only their street clothes* and Dimples was wearing a blue shirt again (rumour has it he wore a shirt of another colour for the Emmies?). What a wild man he is. I guess you can act all crazy-like when you win an award.
Our first order of business, after walking a few hundred feet across the savannah for the benefit of the cameras, is to chose tribes. Bob and Gillian, as the elders, get this honour. Bob chooses wisely, Gillian not so much. In the end we have two tribes Fang (pronounced Fong for reasons which will, perhaps, come to me in my sleep tonight), and Kota. The tribes are then presented with their first challenge. They must run through a series of flags up a hill (reminicent of a hill that Lynn, Debbie and I agilely scaled while hiking in Jasper one year). At the top of the hill are two individual immunity idols and some essentials like rice. There is also an extra bag of corn and one of beans for the first tribe to get all its members to the top of the hill. So its a selfish run for an idol, or a team run for food. GC and Marcus blow off the team thing and race to the top to collect the two immunity idols. Kota wins the extra food by getting all their members to the top first. Meanwhile Fang struggles with both Gillian and Crystal needing to be bodily pushed up the hill (remember, just four years ago Crystal was an Olympic athlete. Of course, in fairness, her event wasn't Gabonese Hill Climbing).
The tribes head off to find their respective camps and begin settling in. At Camp Fang, Gillian begins collecting elephant dung for firestarter. That's all well and good but she also wants to dig through it to see if there are any undigested bits that they might be able to eat. Day 1 is a little too soon to be throwing this kind of thing at the others. Presto, Gillian has instantly become an annoyance, especially to Randy. Meanwhile the Fang food experimentation continues as Michelle eats a termite under the admiring gaze of Kenny the gamer. Kenny tells us it has been four years since he kissed a girl and wonder if romance might blossom in Gabon.
At Kamp Kota Ace is getting on the nerves of a few, while a flaming Charlie is obviously infatuated with Marcus (as am I). Marcus tells us privately that he likes Charlie but there will not be two Adams in this Eden.
As night falls on our survivors an elephant visits the camp of the Fang tribe. Randy gets up to investigate and cuts his head on a stick. There is a lot of blood and nurse Gillian is not willing to treat it in the dark. The medics are called and they stitch Randy up and bandage his head. None of this is Randy's fault. Its only that he was unfortunate enough to be drawn by me in the pool and so is assigned to hopeless ineptitude until he is thrown out of Gabon in disgrace. Fortunately Randy's cries of pain are muffled by Michelle whining. She is cold. She is too boney and the ground is hard. And its only the first night.
Tree mail arrives promising flame (presumably not refering to the aforementioned Charlie) and game. In preparation for the challenge Ace leads his tribe in a bit of Iyanguderwear yoga, much to the amusement of Bob and Paloma. Ace insists it will tone their chakras. Paloma just thinks doing yoga in your underwear is funny.
The tribes arrive at the challenge to learn that six tribe members will be belted together. They must run through a leech-infested swamp and over a net barricade. They must dig up three bags buried in sand that contain puzzle pieces and get these puzzle pieces back to the start. There the remaining three tribe members must assemble the puzzle. The first tribe finished wins immunity and a flint with which to start a fire. Kota wins this challenge with no problem (no doubt due to their highly toned chakras).
Back at camp the Fangaruvians begin to plot. Whiney Michelle is definitely on their hit list, but so is Gillian. At tribal council Dimples unloads on the team about their ineptitude and Michelle criticizes GC's performance in the challenge. Chaos ensues. Finally after things cool off Dimples guides them into chosing a leader and GC is "the chosen one". When they finally get around to voting Michelle is the one watching her torch being snuffed. And with Michelle goes Lorelee who, as usual, will get her money back as the first one out of the game.
It's now day four. Kota has settled into a routine. Charlie and Marcus continue to strengthen their alliance. Charlie tells us that he would jump all over Marcus if he could. Marcus sees he and Charlie as the centre of a tight alliance, but they need to add more layers. In what Marcus calls the Large Onion Alliance they decide to add Jacquie, Corrine and perhaps Bob as the outer layers.
Over at the Fang camp, GC is exercising his leadership muscle and feels it's going quite well. He politely assigns tasks and the work is getting done. It all falls apart that night when Randy starts snoring. GC can't sleep so he gets up and starts doing stuff. That wakes up others who join him. They talk. They wake others up. Gillian is angry. There is an argument and GC resigns as leader. In this leadership vaccuum everyone stands around looking at their feet and rubbing their toes in the dirt but no one steps up to become the new leader.
Treemnail arrives talking about rolling stones and fish. It turns out the Survivors must, in teams, roll two giant balls up a hill and through a series of gates. Along the way they must stop to retrieve two sets of keys suspended high above their heads. At the end they must find the correct three keys from among the six they have, and unlock three padlocks. This will get them through to the finish. Kota wins again, winning the reward of fishing gear. They also select Dan to go to Exile Island.
And so the Kotadians head back to a camp where life is good. Charlie is having a blast. In fact Charlie says camp is better than home. Jacquie is impressed with her team mates saying they have the cleverest guys.
Dan is on Exile Island where he learns he must make a choice between comfort (a nice little grass hut and an apple) and a clue to the whereabouts of the hidden immunity idol. Dan, naturally enough choses the clue, but despite all his efforts he is unable to find the sandy crater that the clue talks about.
The Fangs, minus Dan, are lamenting their third loss, but trying to stay positive. And, in truth, things seem to be looking up. Randy fashions a fish hook out of the wire in his glasses and GC and Ken catch five small fish, providing some much needed protein. When Dan returns from Exile Island they think he is acting strangely and wonder if he has found the idol and is just not prepared to reveal it. However, when the idea is mentioned later at Tribal Council Dan obligingly empties his bag to prove he doesn't have the idol. The votes are cast and Gillian is the one heading home. With Gillian goes pool co-founder Lynn.
And so there are 16 Survivors left. You now have one week to decide who you believe will be the ultimate winner of the one million dollars. Let me know via e-mail (put it in writing please) who you think will win before the beginning of the next episode.
Feel free to post your comments, rants and observations at the end of this update. We now have the perfect venue to do a more interactive thing.
Until next week. Outwit, Outplay, Outlast
Pat (aka Randy what the hell was I thinking smacking my head open on the very first night Bailey)
* Note to all Survivor wannabees. If you are ever picked to be on Survivor, please please please remember to wear practical clothing from the instant you touch down in the country in which the series will be filmed. You never know when you will be separated from your luggage and dropped off on some island or in some remote location. After 18 seasons you should know this! Leave the high heeled shoes, the skin tight minidress and the three piece suit in the suitcase. Wear comfy walking shoes. Dress in layers so you have a bigger beach wardrobe to chose from. Most importantly, don't let your mother see you on international tv in your freakin' underwear!
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Learn your Survivor Identity
The deed is done and you have been paired with a TV survivor. I have included the first paragraph of each of their biographies from the CBS website but full biographies, along with video clips can be viewed at http://www.cbs.com/primetime/survivor/. The italicized comments are mine, but you would likely figure that out pretty quickly. Scroll down until you find your name and immediately below that you will find the Survivor who will be your alter ego for the next few weeks.
Don't forget to get your vote in for the survivor you think will ultimately win the $1,000,000. As usual you can have until after the first episode to decide who you think might win. Please don't use any cheat websites. If you do, a camel will poop on your best shoes on an extremely hot day in July.
And finally there is that whole messy money thing. Please get your $10.00 to me as soon as you can. Debbie, Cheryl, Marie and Mitzie only need to pay $5.00 since they are sharing a Survivor.
And now, on with the show....
Jack Chwasciak
Ace Gordon (27)Hometown: Naples, FloridaOccupation:Jewelry Sales & Photographer
Ace Gordon is a self-proclaimed charmer in every sense of the word. With an English accent and a shaved head, he is an absolute fan of the game and 100% confident in his manipulation skills. Born in New York but raised in London, Ace attended the prestigious Hill House School in Knightsbridge. His privileged background and world travels lead Gordon to mockingly state, "I'm probably better than you and highly more [sic] educated." Ha ha. I won't even comment on this one.
Pam Larsen
Robert "Bob" Crowley (58)Hometown: Portland, MaineOccupation: Physics Teacher
Robert Crowley considers himself a hybrid of Indiana Jones and Robinson Crusoe. He loves the outdoors and is always ready for his next adventure. I gotta say, Bob is leaning more to Robinson Crusoe than Indiana Jones.
Jan Ayer
Charlie Herschel (29)Hometown: New York, New YorkOccupation: Lawyer
Charlie Herschel has been a fan of SURVIVOR since the first season and has been training for it ever since. A lawyer for one of the top 10 most prestigious law firms in the world, Herschel is ready to try his persuasion skills on a different type of jury. Yes Charlie, this jury is made up of bitter people who you have screwed at one time or another on your way to the top...and that's only if you're lucky!
Cheryl Lendvoy and Marie Leurer
Corinne Kaplan (29)Hometown: Los Angeles, CaliforniaOccupation: Pharmaceutical Sales
Corinne Kaplan takes great pride in being able to manipulate the people around her. As a pharmaceutical sales rep, this smart and sexy, self-described bitch, is in it purely for the money. At work, Corinne must convince physicians to prescribe her products. Now, Corinne is looking to convince her fellow tribe mates that she's trustworthy, while ready to sell them out behind their backs. I wonder if sales will drop after her clients read this.
Debbie Malone and Mitzie Krasilowez
Crystal Cox (29)Hometown: Durham, North CarolinaOccupation: Former Olympic Athlete
Crystal Cox, a 2004 Olympic Gold Medalist in track for the 4 X 400m Relay, is ready to tackle new challenges as a contestant on this season of SURVIVOR. As a single mother and athlete, she is the sole provider for her family and calls herself "the glue that holds the home together." So who is holding the home together while your are traipsing through Gabon, Crystal?
Rick Minett
Dan Kay (32)Hometown: Boston, MassachusettsOccupation: Lawyer
Dan Kay has come a long way from his blue-collar roots in Boston. Born and raised in Walpole, Massachusetts, he was very involved in athletics, especially football, skiing and track. While in high school, Dan played on a varsity football team, which had a long tradition of winning, a tradition that has helped shape his strong work-ethic. He graduated from The University of Massachusetts, Amherst with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Political Science & English and later would earn his law degree from Syracuse University College of Law where he was also a member of the Moot Court. That's the name of a band I guess,huh?
Lisa Kanak
Danny "GC" Brown (26)Hometown: Portland, OregonOccupation: Maintenance Man
Danny Brown deems himself a true SURVIVOR, having overcome a difficult childhood including homelessness, and a mother who constantly moved both him and his brother to temporary housing. However, despite his hardships, Brown was resilient and optimistic. He's gonna love that shelter on the beach. After spending his childhood in temporary housing he'll feel right at home!
Lynn Mckenna
Gillian Larson (61)Hometown: Temecula, CaliforniaOccupation: Retired Nurse
Retired after working as a registered nurse for 41 years, Gillian Larson has never satisfied her appetite for adventure and travel despite her wide array of experiences throughout her 61 years. She has traveled through 46 countries and all but a few U.S. states, much of it backpacking. This adventurous "granny" can climb and rappel 4,000 foot mountains and swim with the Great Whites. Not only is she versatile, but she is competitive by nature and feels as though she is an perfect fit for the game of SURVIVOR, having applied 15 times. This one deserves an “A” for tenacity...or is that a “T” for tenacity...hmmm?
Kathy Baril
Jacquie Berg (25)Hometown: Santa Barbara, CaliforniaOccupation: Medical Sales
Jacquie Berg always plays to win and will settle for nothing less than number one. Odds are she is going to have to settle for another number this time. She's trained her whole life to play a game like SURVIVOR. Competing in several sports such as gymnastics, water polo, crew, track and swimming, she's proven herself a leader.
Georgia Morgan
Jessica (Sugar) Kiper (29)
Pin-up model. I'm sorry but CBS wouldn't let me access Sugar's bio for some reason. I guess we will have to let her occupation speak for itself.
Barb Ing
Kelly Czarnecki (22)Hometown: Buffalo Grove, IllinoisOccupation: Retail Sales
Kelly Czarnecki describes herself as a leader by nature. And though she has worked for everything she has, she'll also be the first tell you that "she gets what she wants and does what she wants." Don't be fooled by her girl-next-door looks Czarnecki is a mid-western spitfire who loves the outdoors. Called adventurous and ambitious by her friends, this one-time cheerleader always finishes what she starts because to her there's always a reward at the end. Nope, you don't wanna mess with an ex-cheerleader!
Roberta Cox
Ken Hoang (22)Hometown: Westminster, CaliforniaOccupation: Professional Gamer
Ken Hoang gives a new meaning to the term "gamer." Known to the gaming community as "the King of Smash," Hoang is a professional at his craft. As the current international champion of Nintendo's Super Smash Brothers Melee video game, Ken has traveled the world from Japan to Australia to prove his dominance. Yes, but can he run and swim after all those years slouched in front of a computer playing Super Smash Brothers Melee?
Selina Makofsky (who always gets the studly guys- right Jeff?)
Marcus Lehman (28)Hometown: Atlanta, GeorgiaOccupation: Doctor
Marcus Lehman, a young doctor from Jacksonville, Fla. considers himself mentally and physically prepared to compete for his chance to be the sole SURVIVOR. Recognized as the state of Georgia's hottest bachelor by Cosmopolitan Magazine in 2006, Lehman strives to achieve the highest levels in all areas of life. All I can say about this guy is hubba hubba. Does that make me a shallow person?
Jeff McGarry
Matty Whitmore (29)Hometown: Pacific Palisades, CaliforniaOccupation: Personal Trainer
Matty Whitmore knows first-hand what it's like to have a lot and what's it's like to lose it all. At the age of 18, Whitmore inherited a trust fund from his grandparents, allowing him to live a comfortable life in paradise until partying it all away. Now at the age of 29, Whitmore wants the opportunity to find out what he's capable of doing on his own and believes SURVIVOR holds the answer. Sniff. Doesn't that little story just bring a tear to your eye? Uh NO!
Lorelee Belisle
Michelle Chase (24)Hometown: Los Angeles, CaliforniaOccupation: Music Producer
Michelle Chase has been through more in her 24 years than most people have in a lifetime. Not only did she grow up poor in South Florida with a single mother, but her best friend, her father, disappeared from her life at an early age. As a result of her Dad's absence, her mom became the most influential person in her life. Well, we know whose going to be showing up for the loved ones episode, don't we?
Grace Ford
Paloma Soto-Castillo (24)Hometown: Downey, CaliforniaOccupation: Student
Paloma Soto-Castillo has been playing the social game her entire life, one of the skills necessary to succeed in the game of SURVIVOR. Her parents were both missionaries, causing her to move around a lot during her childhood. Growing up with this lifestyle taught her to adapt to any environment and she became a stronger person as a result. Somehow I think travelling with your missionary parents may not be EXACTLY the same sort of social game she will find in Survivor Gabon.
Pat Lee
Randy Bailey (49)Hometown: Eagle Rock, MissouriOccupation: Wedding Videographer
Randy Bailey wants to be personally responsible for crushing the hopes and dreams of all other contestants with delusions of winning SURVIVOR. He considers himself a ruthless bully who enjoys picking on those that were not blessed with his strength or intellect. Yeah, this is definitely the guy I want taking the soft focus shots at my wedding!
Donna Hodel
Susie Smith (47)Hometown: Charles City, IowaOccupation: Hairdresser
Susie Smith, a Mexican American mother of one (that accounts for the name Susie Smith!), has always allowed others to dictate her life and she's ready for a change. Born into a Mexican immigrant family of crop field workers, Susie and five of her siblings began working alongside her parents at a young age and the other three siblings were raised by Susie and her siblings. She has struggled ever since, but has overcome many personal challenges.
Don't forget to get your vote in for the survivor you think will ultimately win the $1,000,000. As usual you can have until after the first episode to decide who you think might win. Please don't use any cheat websites. If you do, a camel will poop on your best shoes on an extremely hot day in July.
And finally there is that whole messy money thing. Please get your $10.00 to me as soon as you can. Debbie, Cheryl, Marie and Mitzie only need to pay $5.00 since they are sharing a Survivor.
And now, on with the show....
Jack Chwasciak
Ace Gordon (27)Hometown: Naples, FloridaOccupation:Jewelry Sales & Photographer
Ace Gordon is a self-proclaimed charmer in every sense of the word. With an English accent and a shaved head, he is an absolute fan of the game and 100% confident in his manipulation skills. Born in New York but raised in London, Ace attended the prestigious Hill House School in Knightsbridge. His privileged background and world travels lead Gordon to mockingly state, "I'm probably better than you and highly more [sic] educated." Ha ha. I won't even comment on this one.
Pam Larsen
Robert "Bob" Crowley (58)Hometown: Portland, MaineOccupation: Physics Teacher
Robert Crowley considers himself a hybrid of Indiana Jones and Robinson Crusoe. He loves the outdoors and is always ready for his next adventure. I gotta say, Bob is leaning more to Robinson Crusoe than Indiana Jones.
Jan Ayer
Charlie Herschel (29)Hometown: New York, New YorkOccupation: Lawyer
Charlie Herschel has been a fan of SURVIVOR since the first season and has been training for it ever since. A lawyer for one of the top 10 most prestigious law firms in the world, Herschel is ready to try his persuasion skills on a different type of jury. Yes Charlie, this jury is made up of bitter people who you have screwed at one time or another on your way to the top...and that's only if you're lucky!
Cheryl Lendvoy and Marie Leurer
Corinne Kaplan (29)Hometown: Los Angeles, CaliforniaOccupation: Pharmaceutical Sales
Corinne Kaplan takes great pride in being able to manipulate the people around her. As a pharmaceutical sales rep, this smart and sexy, self-described bitch, is in it purely for the money. At work, Corinne must convince physicians to prescribe her products. Now, Corinne is looking to convince her fellow tribe mates that she's trustworthy, while ready to sell them out behind their backs. I wonder if sales will drop after her clients read this.
Debbie Malone and Mitzie Krasilowez
Crystal Cox (29)Hometown: Durham, North CarolinaOccupation: Former Olympic Athlete
Crystal Cox, a 2004 Olympic Gold Medalist in track for the 4 X 400m Relay, is ready to tackle new challenges as a contestant on this season of SURVIVOR. As a single mother and athlete, she is the sole provider for her family and calls herself "the glue that holds the home together." So who is holding the home together while your are traipsing through Gabon, Crystal?
Rick Minett
Dan Kay (32)Hometown: Boston, MassachusettsOccupation: Lawyer
Dan Kay has come a long way from his blue-collar roots in Boston. Born and raised in Walpole, Massachusetts, he was very involved in athletics, especially football, skiing and track. While in high school, Dan played on a varsity football team, which had a long tradition of winning, a tradition that has helped shape his strong work-ethic. He graduated from The University of Massachusetts, Amherst with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Political Science & English and later would earn his law degree from Syracuse University College of Law where he was also a member of the Moot Court. That's the name of a band I guess,huh?
Lisa Kanak
Danny "GC" Brown (26)Hometown: Portland, OregonOccupation: Maintenance Man
Danny Brown deems himself a true SURVIVOR, having overcome a difficult childhood including homelessness, and a mother who constantly moved both him and his brother to temporary housing. However, despite his hardships, Brown was resilient and optimistic. He's gonna love that shelter on the beach. After spending his childhood in temporary housing he'll feel right at home!
Lynn Mckenna
Gillian Larson (61)Hometown: Temecula, CaliforniaOccupation: Retired Nurse
Retired after working as a registered nurse for 41 years, Gillian Larson has never satisfied her appetite for adventure and travel despite her wide array of experiences throughout her 61 years. She has traveled through 46 countries and all but a few U.S. states, much of it backpacking. This adventurous "granny" can climb and rappel 4,000 foot mountains and swim with the Great Whites. Not only is she versatile, but she is competitive by nature and feels as though she is an perfect fit for the game of SURVIVOR, having applied 15 times. This one deserves an “A” for tenacity...or is that a “T” for tenacity...hmmm?
Kathy Baril
Jacquie Berg (25)Hometown: Santa Barbara, CaliforniaOccupation: Medical Sales
Jacquie Berg always plays to win and will settle for nothing less than number one. Odds are she is going to have to settle for another number this time. She's trained her whole life to play a game like SURVIVOR. Competing in several sports such as gymnastics, water polo, crew, track and swimming, she's proven herself a leader.
Georgia Morgan
Jessica (Sugar) Kiper (29)
Pin-up model. I'm sorry but CBS wouldn't let me access Sugar's bio for some reason. I guess we will have to let her occupation speak for itself.
Barb Ing
Kelly Czarnecki (22)Hometown: Buffalo Grove, IllinoisOccupation: Retail Sales
Kelly Czarnecki describes herself as a leader by nature. And though she has worked for everything she has, she'll also be the first tell you that "she gets what she wants and does what she wants." Don't be fooled by her girl-next-door looks Czarnecki is a mid-western spitfire who loves the outdoors. Called adventurous and ambitious by her friends, this one-time cheerleader always finishes what she starts because to her there's always a reward at the end. Nope, you don't wanna mess with an ex-cheerleader!
Roberta Cox
Ken Hoang (22)Hometown: Westminster, CaliforniaOccupation: Professional Gamer
Ken Hoang gives a new meaning to the term "gamer." Known to the gaming community as "the King of Smash," Hoang is a professional at his craft. As the current international champion of Nintendo's Super Smash Brothers Melee video game, Ken has traveled the world from Japan to Australia to prove his dominance. Yes, but can he run and swim after all those years slouched in front of a computer playing Super Smash Brothers Melee?
Selina Makofsky (who always gets the studly guys- right Jeff?)
Marcus Lehman (28)Hometown: Atlanta, GeorgiaOccupation: Doctor
Marcus Lehman, a young doctor from Jacksonville, Fla. considers himself mentally and physically prepared to compete for his chance to be the sole SURVIVOR. Recognized as the state of Georgia's hottest bachelor by Cosmopolitan Magazine in 2006, Lehman strives to achieve the highest levels in all areas of life. All I can say about this guy is hubba hubba. Does that make me a shallow person?
Jeff McGarry
Matty Whitmore (29)Hometown: Pacific Palisades, CaliforniaOccupation: Personal Trainer
Matty Whitmore knows first-hand what it's like to have a lot and what's it's like to lose it all. At the age of 18, Whitmore inherited a trust fund from his grandparents, allowing him to live a comfortable life in paradise until partying it all away. Now at the age of 29, Whitmore wants the opportunity to find out what he's capable of doing on his own and believes SURVIVOR holds the answer. Sniff. Doesn't that little story just bring a tear to your eye? Uh NO!
Lorelee Belisle
Michelle Chase (24)Hometown: Los Angeles, CaliforniaOccupation: Music Producer
Michelle Chase has been through more in her 24 years than most people have in a lifetime. Not only did she grow up poor in South Florida with a single mother, but her best friend, her father, disappeared from her life at an early age. As a result of her Dad's absence, her mom became the most influential person in her life. Well, we know whose going to be showing up for the loved ones episode, don't we?
Grace Ford
Paloma Soto-Castillo (24)Hometown: Downey, CaliforniaOccupation: Student
Paloma Soto-Castillo has been playing the social game her entire life, one of the skills necessary to succeed in the game of SURVIVOR. Her parents were both missionaries, causing her to move around a lot during her childhood. Growing up with this lifestyle taught her to adapt to any environment and she became a stronger person as a result. Somehow I think travelling with your missionary parents may not be EXACTLY the same sort of social game she will find in Survivor Gabon.
Pat Lee
Randy Bailey (49)Hometown: Eagle Rock, MissouriOccupation: Wedding Videographer
Randy Bailey wants to be personally responsible for crushing the hopes and dreams of all other contestants with delusions of winning SURVIVOR. He considers himself a ruthless bully who enjoys picking on those that were not blessed with his strength or intellect. Yeah, this is definitely the guy I want taking the soft focus shots at my wedding!
Donna Hodel
Susie Smith (47)Hometown: Charles City, IowaOccupation: Hairdresser
Susie Smith, a Mexican American mother of one (that accounts for the name Susie Smith!), has always allowed others to dictate her life and she's ready for a change. Born into a Mexican immigrant family of crop field workers, Susie and five of her siblings began working alongside her parents at a young age and the other three siblings were raised by Susie and her siblings. She has struggled ever since, but has overcome many personal challenges.
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