Your Identity for Survivor South Pacific

Lynn and I met via telephone this evening and did the Survivor draw. Below is a listing of who got who for the upcoming season. Remember to get your $10.00 to me as soon as possible. I already have money from Marie, Donna, Roberta, Pam, Jan and Rick. You can send your cheque or cash to me at Box 1196 Fort Qu'Appelle or you can e-transfer it as Donna did (techie woman that she is).

And now, here is the who's who of Survivor for the upcoming season:

Lisa Lisa Lisa...you are saddled with the infamous Benjamin (Coach) Wade, the 39 year old Soccer Coach/Pastor/Symphony Conductor from Susanville, California. Coach has appeared on Survivor Tocantins and Survivor Heroes and Villains.

Donna, you have snared Oscar (Ozzie) Lusth the 30 year old surfer from Venice, California. Ozzie appeared on Survivor Cook Island and Survivor Micronesia. He was amazing at challenges but never won the big prize.

Kathy, you will be matched with Albert Destrade, a 26 year old Baseball/Dating Coach (with great abs) from Plantation Florida.

Lorelee you will be paired with Brandon Hantz, a 19 year old oil Tanker Crewman from Katy Texas. While they don't seem to be making a big production of it on the website, Brandon is the nephew of Russell Hantz (aka Evil Garden Gnome from Heroes vs Villains).

Rick and I are in a threesome with Christine Shields Markoski, a 39 year old teacher from Merrick, NY. (this is what you meant when you said you wanted a threesome, right Rick?)

Cheryl, you will be conjugating and parsing with Dawn Meehan, a 41 year old English Professor from Souh Jordan, Utah.

Jack, you will be numb when you find out you are paired with Edna Mah, a 35 year old Los Angeles anesthesiologist.

Jeff, you will be flipping your feather boa along with Elyse Umemoto, a 27 year old Las Vegas Dance Team Manager.

Georgia, you will be paired with Jim Rice, a 35 year old Medical Marijuana Dispenser from Denver Colorado.

Roberta, you will be studying tortes with John Cochran, 24, a Harvard Law Student from Washington DC

Pam, you can sleep well knowing your water supply is safely in the hands of Keith Tollefson, a 26 year old water treatment tech from Edina, Minnesota.

Jan, you can be sure that no mystery will be left unsolved and no idol will be left unfound, since you are paired with Mark Caruso, a 48 year old retired NYPD police detective from Forest Hills NY .

Selina, you will be adjusting your thong along with Mikhayla Wingle, a 22 year old Lingerie Football Player (whatever the hell that is) and former Playboy cover girl from Tampa Florida.

Debbie, you will be riding double with Rick Nelson, 51, a rancher from Aurora Utah.

Marie, I have no idea what a spoken word artist does, but you are paired with one by the name of Semhar Tadesse, 24, from Los Angeles.

Mitzie, you will be pulling splinters and treating bug bites along with Sophie Clarke, a 22 year old medical student from Willsboro, New York.

Lynn, you will be paired with Stacey Powell, 44, a mortician from Grand Prairie Texas. Again, no joke that I could come up with would do this justice.

Barb (my long lost buddy) you will be singing the hurtin' songs along with Whitney Duncan, a 27 year old country music singer from Nashville Tennesee.

And there you have it. Lynn will be doing the update duties for the first three weeks of Survivor while I am away. You can still send your votes in to me before the second episode telling me who you think will win the million dollars. If the e-mail isn't received by 7:00 pm. (my time) on Wednesday September 21 it won't count.

Hasta Luego my Survivor friends! See you in October.

Survivor Redemption Island Finale May 15/11

Down to the last night. The season finale. What will I do with my Wednesday nights? Maybe I can play the Survivor theme on my IPod. Oh wait I don't have an IPod. But, enough about me.

Its night 35. Grant arrives at Exile Island to join Matt, Mike and Andrea. Rob, Natalie, Ashley and Phillip head back to camp. Rob is proud of getting rid of Grant but admits he will miss Grant. "As much as I like to think of myself as a cold hearted player, it hurts me a little bit". It may hurt, but Rob wastes no time in planning how he can get rid of Ashley.

On day 36 we find Matt standing on a beach on Redemption Island. As the waves crash onto the rugged shore, Matt tells us that after nearly a month he has come to love Redemption Island. Mike also tells us that he will be leaving a little piece of himself on Redemption Island. The final Redemption Duel involves the four Redemptionites placing one foot on the end of a balance beam. On the other end of the beam is a glass vase. The trick is to keep that vase from falling off the other end of the beam due to an errant twitch of the leg. Grant is the first out and becomes the 5th member of the jury. He is followed by Matt and Mike. With these three go Pam, Rick and I, and Cheryl. Andrea is the surprise victor and wins her way back into the game. She heads back to camp with Rob and company but finds her reception is not exactly warm and fuzzy. She tries to convince Ashley and Natalie to vote for Phillip. Ashley tells us that she hopes Andrea will join the girls and help to get rid of Phillip or Rob. Meanwhile the men see the women talking and worry about a girl alliance. Rob is adamant that Ashley must go.

The Immunity challenge involves running along a balance beam and collecting bags of puzzle pieces tied along the beam. In each bag are numbered tiles which must be arranged in numerical order 1-100. The first to do so wins immunity. Ashley wins immunity, thereby foiling Rob's plan to get rid of her. No problem. Andrea is Rob's number #2 girl. Andrea again tries to get Ashley and Natalie to vote for one of the men, but at Tribal Council Rob plays his immunity idol (though he doesn't need to) and Andrea (along with Robert and Lorelee from the pool) is sent to join the jury.

Day 38 brings the final challenge. The four remaining survivors must navigate a giant maze to locate four bags of puzzle pieces which they must assemble into a phrase. Is it just me or are others beginning to yearn for a mud wrestling challenge or a tug of war over a crevass or something a that doesn't involve puzzle pieces? In any case Rob wins immunity, important now that he has played his idol. Rob busies himself convincing Ashley that Phillip is going home and convincing Phillip that Ashley is going home. Ashley is the target but Rob has to convince a reluctant Natalie to vote for her friend. Not about to oppose Rob at this stage of the game, Natalie complies and Ashley becomes the final member of the jury, along with Jack from the pool. Rick voted for Ashley to win so no Survivor buff for the Rickster.

And so we arrive at the final day of Survivor Redemption Island. All three of the remaining Survivors contemplate what they will say to the jury.Ever the game player, Rob pretends to give Natalie tips about what to say but is really telling her how he wants her to behave with the jury. Phillip has a sure-fired way to get votes. He intends to tell the jury why they are in the jury and he isn't. Uh hmmm Phillip. We will be waiting anxiously to see how that works out for you! On this last day Phillip burns his pink underwear (to everyone's relief) and invokes the spirit of his great great grandfather one last time. We are (thankfully) spared the usual memory walk to recall fallen Survivors. Instead we head straight off to the final Tribal Council. As usual, everyone gets a chance to address the jury. Both Natalie and Phillip say that they are there because Rob got them there, leaving me wondering why they think anyone will vote for them. Rob touches on his success in challenges, his work ethic and his strategy, but says he was really there to give his wife and daughter a better life. When each Survivor addresses the three finalists it is plain that no one is very fond of Phillip and that he has no idea how to coax their votes out of them. Rob has chosen his final three to perfection. While the jury may not like Rob, Phillip has been abrasive, unlikable and downright crazy, while Natalie has done nothing except follow Rob's orders. When the votes are counted Rob Mariano is the winner after four Survivor attempts over a 10 year span. Lynn, our unsung pool co-organizer was paired with Rob and so wins the $150.00 (though I must tell you she wasn't very excited about drawing Rob!). Donna picked Rob to win, so she gets a genuine Zapatera Survivor buff. Sorry Donna. At the time I ordered I had no idea Zapatera would be so thoroughly zapped. Besides, its a really pretty purple one!

Season 23 of Survivor will be set in the South Pacific. There will be 16 new players and 2 returning players (I'm sensing Russell?). The Redemption Island twist will be included again. We'll see you all in the fall. Enjoy your summer until, once again, we...

Outwit, Outplay, Outlast
Pat (aka Matt damn I wish I could have one just one more duel Elrod)

Survivor Redemption Island - May 11/11

Its night 33. Considering this was the last episode before the season finale we seem to have a lot of bodies still hanging around. During the finale they're going to be dropping like bugs in a Raid commercial.

Generally Ometepe is upbeat. Ashley, in particular is very pleased with the blindside on Andrea. "I love blindsides", says she. Ashley and Natalie are now the last girls standing. Ashley thinks they are tight but Natalie is more inclined to side with Rob. She tells Rob that Ashley assumes she and Natalie will be sticking together. This makes Ashley Rob's next target.

Meanwhile Andrea makes her way into camp at Redemption Island where she joins Matt, Mike and Ralph. If she expected a warm welcome she is wrong. Matt is cool because she voted for him and Mike and Ralph remember their cool treatment by Ometepe after the merge. When Andrea asks if there is room for four on the bed, Ralph tells her to sleep on the ground. Its payback, Ralph tells us.

Andrea doesn't have long to wait for her first Redemption Island duel. They are to slide a handle to the end of a maze, then use the handle to smash a tile and retrieve a bag of puzzle pieces. The first three to finish their puzzle get to fight another day. The fourth will join the jury. Ralph takes an early lead on the maze but falls apart on the puzzle. When the dust settles Ralph and our own Grace are primping for the jury.

Everyone at the main camp is hungry and tired. There is a discussion about how the remaining rice should be rationed. Phillip goes off on another of his tirades, telling the girls that they need fewer calories than Grant and so should eat less. Needless to say this isn't what they want to hear, at least not from Phillip, and the fight is on. Rob says that Phillip is pathetic and crazy but he is more concerned with the increasing tightness between Natalie and Ashley. Rob promises to take Natalie to the end if she votes for Ashley. Ashley suggests that Grant should go. Rob feeds Grant this little bit of information which ensures that Grant will also vote for Ashley. The plan is in place and Rob is firmly in control until the immunity challenge. This involves retrieving bags of puzzle pieces by hooking up fishhooks, then using them to retrieve bags of puzzle pieces. The puzzle is a suspended fish skeleton and the puzzle pieces are the bones of the fish. The entire challenge must be done with one hand tied behind the back. Sadly for Rob and his plan, Ashley wins this challenge winning both immunity and reward. The reward is to have a waiter deliver a meal to camp. Of course the meal if for two people and Ashley picks Natalie to join her. Now I presume there is some kind of rule that they can't share the food. If not this was possibly the single biggest act of cruelty in Survivor history. The two girls gorge themselves until they are sick while the others sit nearby. There is a ton of food left but there is no mention of sharing it with the others. It just sits there while the flies crawl over it.

Now that Ashley is out of the mix, Rob decides to turn on Grant. He tells us that Grant is a genuine friend and voting him out will break Rob's heart... but he is not there for friendship. So Rob busies himself telling Phillip, Natalie and Ashley to vote for Grant and telling Grant to vote for Natalie. "It's exhausing" he tells us. "I have to do all the dirty work because everyone else is too stupid". Just before Tribal Council it looks as though Rob may have a change of heart. Natalie and Ashley are just too darn close. Tribal Council is only eventful in that Phillip keeps his mouth closed. When the votes are counted it is Grant who is heading to Redemption Island with Pam from the pool. Grant's parting comment to the group? "See you shortly, guys".

And that brings us to the season finale on Sunday May 15. Those who remain are:

On Redemption Island
Matt - Rick and Pat
Mike - Cheryl
Andrea - Roberta and Lorelee
Grant - Pam

In the main camp
Natalie - Lisa
Rob - Lynn
Ashley - Jack
Phillip - Donna

Barb, Grace, Georgia and Lisa (who all picked Mike) Pat (who picked Grant), Donna (who picked Boston Rob) and Rick (who picked Ashley)are all still in the running for the Survivor Buff.

See you on Sunday for the finale. Until then...

Outwit, Outplay, Outlast
Pat (aka Matt again I live to fight another day Elrod)

Survivor Redemption Island - May 4/11

We begin this episode watching the aftermath of the very first total annihilation of a tribe in Survivor history. Well almost. There are three Zapatrilobites over at Redemption Island hoping to make a come-back. The fourth RI dweller, Matt, the non-Zap player, feels the odds are good for any of them that can survive and make it to the final three. They will then face a jury made up entirely of Zapetrucians.

Meanwhile Ometepe has arrived back at camp following Tribal Council Natalie has a major melt down, but is quick to assure her alliance that it doesn't mean she wants to go home. It's just that now they have to start voting out their own and she is homesick. Rob comforts her in a very kind and fatherly way, but privately tells us that he only has to make it a few more days - as long as his tribe-mates don't start talking to each other and realize that it is he who should be gone.

Tree Mail arrives consisting of a Sprint phone with a text message inviting them to the next duel at Redemption Island. "But first check the videos", says the text. There are, of course, a video for each of the Survivors made by one of their loved ones back home. There is much weeping. The same scenario is being re-enacted over at Redemption Island, where they have also received a Sprint with videos.

When everyone arrives at the Redemption Island Arena for the duel, Dimples explains how it will work. There will be a four way duel between Matt, Mike, Ralph and Steve. The loser will go home and the winner will get to spend time with their loved one. The duel involves throwing some sort of weird little object at some ceramic tiles. The first to break four tiles wins. Steve has a poor performance in this challenge and is sent over to the jury. With Steve goes our own Marie from the pool. Selina picked Steve to win so Marie and Selina will be cashless and buffless this round.

Mike wins the duel and so wins some time with his Mom. But of course there is a twist. Mike can give up his time with his mom and instead allow Matt and Ralph to spend time with their loved ones. Or, he can give the opportunity to the larger group of six who voted him out. There is a collective groan from the former Ometepe group After all, what kind of nutbar would give such a reward to the very people who sent his butt over to Redemption Island in the first place. But surprise surprise! Mike has conferred with God and God feels he should use his reward to benefit the greatest number of people. Mike gives up time with his Mom and allows Rob and company time with their loved ones. One might suspect this was strategic but I actually don't think Mike is dumb enough to believe Rob's tribe would be swayed by an act of kindness. In any case, Rob and company return to camp to spend the day and night with their loved ones. Mike, Ralph and Matt return alone to Redemption Island. Ralph thinks Mike's move was a stupid one, but Matt gets the whole God thing and admires Mike's decision.

So we watch the Ometepe people interacting with their loved ones. Rob's sister has come to visit. She ignores Rob and keeps looking over her shoulder like something might bite her. Phillip tells his sister that crazy is his strategy and that he will continue to dominate (huh?). Andrea's dad throws her over his shoulder and asks her how come her hair looks so nice. Natalie's mother gives her a much needed pep talk. But as always, the kinfolk must go home and when they do it's time for an immunity challenge.

Rob has already decided that Andrea is the next to go and that she must not win immunity. The challenge is simple enough. Untie bundles of puzzle pieces that look a lot like stairs. Fit them onto a giant staircase one at a time in the right order. Once your staircase is built you win. It sounds simple. But it is 110 degrees in US numbers and some equally wickedly hot temperature in Canadian numbers (help me out here Jack). The Survivors must constantly run up and down the staircase and the closer they get to completing it, the longer each trip is. It is a close race between Rob, Grant and Andrea. Rob wins but he is hurting when the challenge is done. He is cramping and needs assistance to stand. But it is "mission accomplished". Rob has immunity and Andrea can now be sent home according to the plan. Andrea believes it is Phillip who is going home, and for a brief while Rob does consider getting rid of Mr. Annoying Pants. But alas, when the votes are tabulated, it is indeed Andrea who is heading to Redemption Island to meet up, again, with Matt (my guy).

Until next week,
Outwit, Outplay, Outlast
Pat (aka Matt I ain't nothin if not tenacious Elrod)

PS The season finale is on Sunday May 15. Find out if Matt (my guy) comes back from against incredible odds to win all the marbles. Or not.

Survivor Redemption Island - April 27/11

I am the official substitute scribe for Pat who is off at some sort of soiree or something… probably a sand-bagging party. But at any rate, I am filling in this week, I hope to hit the high notes and keep you up to speed with Game 7 of the Bruins/Canadiens series as well.

So it’s night 27 back at the Murlonio tribe, and the first words that are uttered were ‘another crazy tribal council’… seems to be the norm in this Survivor.

Steve, however, being the bigger man offers up a handshake and apology to Phillip saying that no prejudice was intended in his ‘crazy’ comment that he had directed at Phillips and he insists that he just thinks that Phillip is well.. Crazy. Phillip doesn’t believe Steve’s apology, but Steve thinks that the issue is done with. Steve’s strategy at this point is to be nice and let Phillip’s behaviour get him voted off, but Rob wants to keep Phillip around saying that “as long as he keeps up his stupid antics, he will come with me all the way to the final.” (Please remember this comment for later).

Phillip the undercover something or other, has another vision. His grandfather came to him in a vision saying that his shorts were hidden near water. Phillip instinctively knows that the water in question is not the ocean, but he is confident it must mean their water supply. As I’m giggling to myself about ‘crazy’ Phillip.. he digs around one rock, then another… and you guessed it, he finds the shorts that Julie had buried. Go figure!! He prances around camp quite proud of himself for quite some time, quotes Nicholson saying, “the truth, you can’t handle the truth”… and something about not messing with a specialist. Alrighty then...

Meanwhile, back on Redemption Island, Mike, Julie and Matt are waiting for their challenge. Matt has great faith and has done well, but Mike points out that Matt is in a downward spiral and, in tears, Matt admits that ‘God is carrying him’. He’s been on Redemption Island 21 days out of the 28. The challenge on Redemption, with Phillip proudly wearing his new found shorts, is Survivor Shuffleboard. Pretty much the same version as people have played at home, minus the beer. First two Survivors to get 3 pucks in the end zone win and stay in the game, Mike is off to an early lead while Matt and Julie struggle, but then Matt finds the his groove to come from behind and score all three pucks in the end zone ensuring that God is not quite done with him yet, and he is staying in the game. Mike is soon to follow and will be staying, sending Julie home from Redemption Island. With Julie goes our own pool member Jan Ayer.

Julie however tells the story of why she entered Survivor, her house like many other American’s homes is in foreclosure and she was hoping to find a better life for her girls. She says she came away with very much more, that she is inspired by Matt and plans to start attending church. But before she can do that, Julie will become the second member of the jury.

Back at camp, Andrea is feeling bad about sending Matt to Redemption Island, but Rob valiantly points out that they all put him there, not just her. The strategy for the Rob/Grant duo is to send Andrea to Redemption. Grant does point out that timing is everything in this game, and he’s not sure if the timing is just right yet.

With the Immunity Challenge competitors compete in a log roll, the survivor who stays on the log the longest moves on to the next round with the loser being out… last man/woman standing wins immunity AND a chocolate cake and milk! Along with this is a ‘twist’ which was to be determined later at Tribal Council. Grant and Rob are first out and Grant takes it, moving on to the next round. Although, Steve did say he was in a log rolling league at home, Ralph easily takes him and so Steve is out. Also moving on to the second round are Ashley and Phillip. In the second round Ashley and Philip are knocked off first and the final consists of Grant and Ralph. Grant wins the final match and is allowed to pick another survivor to enjoy cake with, he of course, picks Rob. He is then allowed to pick yet one more Survivor and he picks Andrea, his logic in this is to lull her into complacency so that they can vote her out later. REALLY??? Is that ruthless or what!

6:00 minutes left in the Boston/Canadiens game… 3-2 Boston.. but I digress.

Back at camp everybody is guessing on the ‘twist’ from the top of the food chain, Rob/Grant, to the bottom… Steve/Ralph, but Andrea feels comfortable in her place in the tribe, probably because of the sugar high she’s on. Ralph is hoping the ‘twist’ helps him stay in the game because he knows that it will be him or Steve being voted out at Tribal Council. Rob was thinking the twist would be a vote for a 2nd survivor and so some discussion ensued on whether it would be Ralph and then Steve; or Ralph and then Andrea. Steve goes to Rob’s girls and says that he and Ralph are voting for Boston Rob saying that Rob will vote them out one by one and taking ‘nimrod’ (presumably Phillip) to the final (a reminder here of what Boston Rob had said earlier in the show). The girls tell Rob about Steve’s plan, being loyal to their leader. Rob’s not happy and reconsiders sending Andrea home and considers now sending Steve if there’s a second vote.

At Tribal Council Andrea pipes up saying they are ‘rock solid’. Ralph figures it will be him being voted out, and Steve agrees saying that Ralph is stronger in challenges, and poor Steve is so weak, blah blah blah. Jeff points out that’s the smart thing for Steve to say, take attention away from himself and Steve brings up the Survivor All Star episode where Rob enlists the help of Lex to keep Amber around and then sends Lex home the very next chance he could, but he did also say that he remained loyal to his alliance with Amber. Rob at this point pipes up and says that it is an alliance that he is “loyal to this very day!”. Gag.

So, votes are cast, and no surprise, it’s Ralph who is sent to Redemption Island to join Matt (Pat’s guy!)

But wait.. there’s more. The Twist! Another immunity challenge and another vote immediately following. Every survivor gets a stack of cards. Jeff holds up cards in a particular order and the Survivors have to pick the correct card in the correct order. At this point, regulation time in the hockey game is over, we’re going into OT and Survivor is doing a double Immunity challenge.. what to watch.. what to watch, but I decided to stay loyal to you Survivor fans, and so we continue…

Jeff holds up a series of cards, about 7 in total and I lost track of which ones he held up. The survivors all get the first 2 or 3 right, then Natalie and Phillip are wrong, they’re out, then Grant and Andrea soon after. The final card Ashlee and Steve hold up a picture of fire, Boston Rob holds up a picture of a cooking pot and Rob is correct and wins immunity.

Another vote is cast immediately without allowing any time for one of Phillip’s speeches/visions/rants or whatever else falls out of his mouth… and this time it’s Steve voted out and going to Redemption Island. (Not a huge surprise). But Jeff points out that now that all the former Zapatera members are gone, now the ‘rock solid 6 Ometepe’ have to start turning on eachother, and now there’s nowhere to run or hide.

Back on Redemption there’s a getting to be quite a crowd, Matt (Ometepe), and three Zapatera members; Steve, Ralph and Mike are all out there.

So, Boston Rob wins immunity and Boston Bruins take the series in Game 7 at about 5 minutes into the 1st overtime… Canadiens are sent golfing.

Until next week..

Your unofficial scribe (Donna… never wants to be associated with Phillip unless Rob takes him to the end… Hodel) in lieu of Pat (21 day Matt Elrod)

Survivor Redemption Island - April 20/11

As we rejoin our trusty pack of Survivors, Ralph, Julie and Steve are the last remnants of Zapatera. Mike and David have gone off to co-habitate with Matt (my guy) on Redemption Island. And speaking of Redemption Island, Matt is having a one-on-one dialogue with God about whether he should be there. He is, by his own admission, a broken man (Matt, not God...God is fine...I guess). David and Mike are confused too, but not about God's devine purpose. They are more concerned about what Mark Burnett has up his sleeve regarding this latest twist in the game. They are also trying to answer that age old question "can you have a dual with three people?"

At the main camp, Steve is just grateful that he is still around. But it isn't long before the good vibes are gone. Zapatera and Ometepe each arrived at the merge with their own rice. Because there are only 3 Zaps left, they have lots of rice to eat. Ometepe, because they keep insisting on voting the other guys out, have more mouths to feed. Phillip takes exception to the amount of rice Zapatera is eating. Apparently, even though Ometepe won't even talk to Zapatera, they expect them to share their rice. The rice situation really goes to pot (hehehe) when Ometepe discovers maggots in their rice. They spread the rice on a blanket to pick out the maggots, then have no container to return it to. Phillip demands that Steve let them put all the rice in Zapatera's container. Steve says he doesn't think so. Phillip goes off on a rant during which Steve calls him crazy (an idea probably reinforced by the fact that Phillip was muttering in some made-up language earlier in the show). Phillip's rant then goes down a dark path where he accuses Steve of racism and equates the word crazy with the "n" word. Rob and the other Ometepites are cringing. Phillip is so agitated that violence seems like a very real probability.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. First we have to deal with the dual at Redemption Island. Everyone is present to watch as all three castaways attempt to assemble an 8 foot tower out of wooden tiles. The last one to do so will become the first member of the jury. Mike and Matt (my guy) finish their towers first and David is sent off to clean himself up for jury duty. With David goes Mitzie from the pool.

After the rice debacle, even Rob is thinking it might be a good idea to get rid of Phillip. Many of his tribe mates agree. In Rob's words, "Phillip has become public enemy #1, the only question is who will be public enemy #2?".

The immunity challenge involves a puzzle done in two stages. In stage one Survivors must lean on a circular board screwed into a post and spin on it until it comes loose. This circle then becomes the base for the puzzle. The first six to complete the inner circle of the puzzle move on to round two. Rob, Julie, Ralph, Andrea, Steve, and Grant all move on to the second stage where they must complete the exterior ring of the puzzle. Rob wins this round and immunity.

Zapatera may not have immunity but they do have that rice and they are stuffing themselves as they discuss a strategy. They need to sway two of the Ometepes to vote for Phillip. Steve even broaches the subject with Rob who doesn't really say anything one way or the other. Meanwhile, Julie decides to have a little fun at Phillip's expense. She takes his swim trunks and buries them. This provokes another rant from Phillip. Now I would be mad too, but this man is as nutty as an Oh Henry Bar. He threatens, then says he doesn't threaten. He tells Steve he can "go off just like that". So off to Tribal Council they go with Phillip's words ringing in their ears. Of course Dimples sets Phillip off again at Tribal Council. Phillip says he knows (because of his training in the CIA) that Steve took his swim trunks and that Steve is a racist (I am paraphrasing here). Julie confesses that it was actually she who took the trunks, thus proving Phillip's training was....well...flawed. Phillip looks a little sheepish and actually shuts up. When Dimples tabulates the votes, Ometepe has stayed true to Phillip and it is Julie who is going to Redemption Island, taking our own Jan with her. There are now 11 Survivors left (including the two on Redemption Island). Will Matt survive anothe duel? Will the rest of the tribe survive Phillip? Should they have cooked those maggots with the rice for additional protein (I'm just sayin'!)?

Until next week,
Outwit, Outplay, Outlast
Pat aka (Matt I didn't know God was so into this game Elrod)

Survivor Redemption Island - April 13/11

We have arrived at Survivordate night 21. Matt returns to his nest on Redemption Island. He is, he tells us, the most naive player in Survivor history. He has been blindsided twice by the same people. He has a long chat with God about what his intentions are.

The next day finds David and Mike admiring Rob's handiwork. Getting rid of Matt was done with the efficiency of a mob hit. Julie describes it as cold-blooded. Ralph is getting jumpy. He gave up his immunity idol and has suddenly stopped exuding confidence. He wonders if he is on the "chop" block and tries to talk to Natalie and Ashley about it. They tell him they can't talk to him. The reason they can't talk is that they are under orders from Rob. Nobody talks to anybody on their own. He institutes a buddy system where everyone travels in pairs so that no one can talk without being overheard. When Natalie comes to tell Rob that Ralph talked to her and Ashley, Rob become angry that Ashley didn't tell him about it, making Ashley a future target. But at the moment Rob is content to solidify his little troupe of six - himself, Grant, Phillip, Natalie, Ashley and Andrea.

Phillip shows up at the challenge wearing a feather on his forehead. He tells Dimples it appeared out of thin air while he was meditating. He later embellishes the story, telling us that his great great grandfather, a Cherokee, came to him in his meditation and gave him the feather. He told him that a member of the Ometepe Tribe would win the challenge and would survive a long long time. What a nob. Well great great grandfather Ezekial Nob Noggin was right about one thing. An Ometepe member does win the challenge. Grant fights his way through round 1 (digging a club out of the sand and using it to smash a tile), round 2 (spitting water into a tube) and round 3 (solving a block puzzle) to win immunity.

Zapatera knows they have a problem. They can't even talk to Rob's group because they are walking around in pairs, holding hands, peeing together and wanting to discuss nothing more than the weather. When Rob and company go off for a group walk, Mike and David begin to dig under the flag poles. They think a new idol may have been hidden around camp. Rob and company return to find them digging. They quickly grab shovels and start furiously digging too. Mike and David graciously step back, sly smiles on their faces. Mike thinks Rob is worried that they already found the idol and he is right. Rob admits that he suffers from Idol Paranoia and worries that the waters will be muddied if Zapatera has found an idol. At Tribal Council Dimples again provokes Phillip into a rant (the Survivor crew must go home at night and phone home to America about Phillip's latest antics). But when Phillip is done his rant and the votes have been tabulated, Mike is sauntering off to Redemption Island to join Matt. With Mike goes pool member Cheryl.

Now normally this is where I would say good night. But wait! There's more! That's right. Its a two-challenge, double elimination night. The second challenge allows Survivors to decide whether they want to eat cheese burgers or compete in the immunity challenge. Steve and Phillip opt to eat burgers. The others have to hang from a bar over the water. Rob goes in fairly quickly but the others hang on to the 20 minute mark. At that point they must hang only from their legs. David is the last Zapatera member hanging, but he goes in at about 45 minutes. The three remaining Ometepe women agree to drop together, though Andrea is the official winner.

Back at camp Rob tells us he is happy as long as his side wins and the other team is demoralized. Ralph discovers a bunch of dead fish in the net. Rob tells Ralph not to eat them but Ralph and the other Zapaterians go ahead and eat them anyway. Ever mindful of Rob's wrath, the Ometepens sit and watch, drool running over their chins. Finally Grant goes over and the Zapateruvians happily share the fish with him.Grant tells us he is his own man and makes his own decisions. Interestingly Rob doesn't really comment on Grant's breach of discipline. Rob has decided that either Steve or David will be going home. Phillip goes into another long rant about Stealth R Us at Tribal Council, but when the votes are cast it is David going to Redemption Island. Joining David, Mike and Matt on Redemption Island is our own Mitzi (lucky woman!)

So no one went home tonight meaning some of us can live in hope for another week. Until then...
Outwit, Outplay, Outlast

Pat (aka Matt How Naive am I Elrod)