Sunday, December 16, 2012

Survivor Phillipines Season Finale December 9/12

Well, it's late and I am a little bit under the weather so I will keep this short (please hold your applause).

The Survivors have returned from Tribal Council having sent Abi to the jury. Skupin says that having Abi gone was the best feeling...that she sucked the life out of him. Malcolm is wondering why everyone who wants to go out with a bang, does so by throwing him under the bus. Malcolm and Skupin confirm their alliance but Skupin tells us that he needs to figure out who he can beat. He doesn't share everyone else's opinion, though, that nobody can beat Malcolm once they are before the jury. Skupin figures he has a pretty good story and could convince the jury to vote for him.

At the reward challenge, Survivors must run an obstacle course and collect three bags of puzzle pieces along the way. Like last week, Malcolm falls off a beam, falls behind them goes on to win on the the puzzle bit. His reward is an "advantage" in the final Immunity Challenge.

The final four do the obligatory torch walk, where they honour the Survivors who have had less success than they. Boring. Then they come to the final Immunity Challenge. There is a wooden dowel that has been cut into various lengths. On the top of the centre piece is a little groove. The goal is to hold the wooden dowel between two handles while balancing a ball bearing in the groove. At regular intervals a new piece of dowel is added so that the number of pieces of wood, and the distance between the handles, progressively becomes greater. When you drop your ball you are out...except for Malcolm. The advantage that he won in the reward challenge gives him one "do-over". Except it doesn't do him any good. Almost immediately he looses control of his stick/ball. He sets up again but is the first to go out a second time. I have to say this seemed a little staged to me except that why would anyone throw a challenge with a million dollars so close? Instead we learn that Malcolm has some sort of congenital shakey hands things. The challenge comes down to a duel between Skupin and Lisa and Skupin eventually wins immunity.

Back at camp, Skupin is thinking there would be more honour in beating Malcolm so maybe Malcolm should stay and Denise should go. Lisa, very practically, points out that you have to win first. Lisa thinks Malcolm will win if he goes to the final three. Lisa wins out and Malcolm is sent home at Tribal Council, taking our Mitzie with him. After a day of feasting and hiking the final three finally face the jury at Tribal Council. There is obviously quite a lot of bitterness on the jury and it is not at all clear who is going to win this one (at least not to me). However, when the votes are cast and we are whisked off to the Hollywood Studio we learn that Denise has won the million dollar prize. Debbie and Kathy were sharing Denise so both will get 75.00. Roberta picked Denise to win so she gets the $20.00 secondary prize.

During the reunion show I learned that:

1. my Abi has realized why she wasn't liked during the show is is going to make some changes.
2. Malcolm is single
3. I barely remember some of those people

The next Survivor series is a Fans vs Favourites located in thge Caramoan Islands (also located in the Phillipines). We are entering season 26 of the Survivor franchise. Rick is condidering lobbying for an Americans vs. the World series...whatdya think?

That's it folks. I am off to bed. I will be in touch with those of you that will be getting money. The rest of you, have a safe and happy holiday season. I will even be so politically incorrect as to wish you a very Merry Christmas. Until next season...

Outwit, Outplay, Outlast
Pat (aka Abi so that's why you didn't like me Gomez)

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Survivor Phillipines - December 12, 2012

It's night 33. Carter is gone and Abi has taken a niceness pill. She thanks everyone for keeping her around..says she is over the moon with happiness. People are not concerned with Abi though. Even the next morning they are still feeling bad about voting Carter off. He was such a nice guy, they say. Malcolm is mulling over something that Lisa said at Tribal Council. She said she would rather go to the final three with someone she could beat. "What"? Says Malcolm. "Lisa is playing strategically"? Malcolm thinks he may have to reconsider his alliance with Lisa. Abi has wandered off into the woods, announcing that she is going to get "water" but everyone knows she is going to hide her imaginary idol. No one is really buying her story any more though, judging by her relief at not being voted off last night. They reason that if she was that insecure at Tribal Council, she would have played an idol if she had one. Knowing Malcolm has an idol and is safe, Abi starts to stir up a movement to get rid of Denise. She starts by telling Lisa that she is at the bottom of her alliance of four...after Abi, goes Lisa. Lisa tells us that she doesn't trust Abi but needs to stay on her good side.

At the Reward Challenge Survivors are asked to run up a ramp then slide down the other side and into the ocean where they will collect two bundles of rings. Once they have collected both bundles they must toss the rings and try to get five of them over pegs. Skupin wins this one in a last minute shoot out with Malcolm. Of course he gets to take two people with him. He chooses Malcolm and Lisa, leaving Denise and Abi to return to camp alone. Denise is philosophical about not going...Abi, not so much. She rants and rales about being the swing vote and nobody recognizing it. Denise settles in for a long day saying she would rather hang herself or have her eyes gouged out than spend the day with Abi. Abi isn't thrilled either. Denise is a "terrible person" according to Abi who apparently is not impressed by gracious, polite women.

Skupin, Lisa and Malcolm are whisked away by helicopter to a boat in the ocean. Here they enjoy pizza, cookies and soft drinks. Apparently Skupin avoids sugar and hasn't had a soft drink in over 30 years. The pop gives him a bit of a buzz, leading Malcolm to comment that Skupin is "suddenly fun". After they eat, the trio dons snorkelling fins and masks and dives down to swim with a whale shark. The shark seems to enjoy the company, even head-butting Skupin in a good natured "give me some treats" kind of way.

Back on the boat, Malcolm begins to lobby against his staunch ally, Denise. "She hasn't betrayed anyone and none of us could beat her", she tells Lisa and Skupin. "The three of us should go to the final three together". Skupin is all over the idea and Lisa agrees, only to tell us later that she might change her mind if the deal doesn't work for her later on. Lisa, you are such an animal!!

On Day 36 Denise awakens with a firey burning on the side of her neck. The painful sensation is accompanied by what appear to be fang marks on the side of her neck (Phillipine Vampire?). Denise tells herself that she should just suck it up (no pun intended) but ends up crying while Lisa and Skupin pray for her (also works for Vampires). Abi and Malcolm look on, both obviously calculating how easy it would be if Denise just went home.

Denise recovers enough, though, to go to the Immunity Challenge and put in a respectable effort. Survivors must lay planks across two parrallel ropes to build a rope ladder. Advancing across the ladder they collect pieces of a table maze. Once they have all the pieces, they assemble the maze and roll a ball through it to win. Malcolm falls off the rope ladder and has to start over. It looks like he is out of it. But while the others struggle constructing their maze, Malcolm throws his together in record time and goes on to win. Malcolm already has an immunity idol and has to play it at the next Tribal Council. Denise asks him if he might give up the one he just won. But he declines. Privately he tells us that he dosn't have to give it to Denise because Denise is safe. Wait a minute. Didn't you say you wanted to get rid of Denise?! Abi, of course, is busy working the crowd, trying to get them to vote for Denise, rather than her. Lisa likes the idea...a lot. At Tribal Council Abi makes one more last ditch effort to change the vote by trying to tell the group that Denise is too much of a threat. When Skupin tries to talk she inexplicably interupts him and calls him an idiot, then a moron, then an idiot. Whether it was pre-arranged or a result of this last bizarre outburst, Abi is finally sent packing. I am Abi's alter ego but even I am happy to see the end of the obnoxious wench.

Sunday is the two hour season finale. Mike Skupin (Grace), Denise (Kathy and Debbie), Malcolm (Mitzie) and Lisa (Jeff) are still in the running for the grand prize. Jack, Jeff and Donna (who all voted for Malcolm to win), Roberta (who voted for Denise) and Lorelee (who voted for Skupin) still have a shot at the 20.00 secondary prize.

Until Sunday....

Outwith, Outplay, Outlast
Pat (aka Abi I can't understand you people Gomez)

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Survivor Phillipines - Dec 5/12

I'm typing this to a background of the movie Black Christmas. If I suddenly disappear, look in the attic. I'll be the one wrapped in a dry cleaning bag. Now on with the update.

It's Night 30 in Survivorland. Penner has joined the jury. Abi talks to Carter and asks him how he feels about the alliance that he isn't a part of. She goes on pretending that she has an immunity idol and privately asks "who will they choose...a guy from Kansas or a girl from Brazil that no one likes because she is too honest?". Right Abi. It's only your honesty that is standing in the way of a big group hug. While Abi tries to stir a fire under Carter, Lisa is realizing that Malcolm is playing the game brilliantly. For her part, she knows that going to the end with Malcolm and Denise is not great strategy, but if she betrays them her poor little head is going to explode. Actually Lisa didn't say that, that was me.

Day 31 brings a reward challenge and it turns out to be the tear jerking, gut wrenching, snot inducing loved ones challenge. Skupin's son Mike is there. So is Lisa's brother Justice and Malcolm's brother Miles. Denise is overjoyed to see her husband and they have even flown Abi's bewildered mother in from Brazil. Lisa wins the All Time Survivor Break Down Award for her hysterical sobbing when she sees her brother. The challenge involves the Survivor throwing bags soaked in mud to their loved one. The loved one must then toss the bag and knock over six wooden pegs balanced on a platform. Someone forgot to translate the rules into Portugese for Abi's mom because she doesn't seem to understand that she is supposed to catch the bag, not avoid it. Malcolm and his brother Miles win the challenge, meaning that Miles gets to go back to camp with Malcolm for the afternoon and over night. Of course Malcolm gets to pick two other pairs to share the reward. He picks Skupin and his son, and Lisa and her brother. His choice, he tells us, is strategic...to reward those who stayed loyal to he and Denise at the last vote.

At camp Lisa's brother is very interested in her strategy (m'thinks he REALLY wanted to do Survivor and probably shook his head when they picked his straight-up sister). Nonetheless, brother Justice has advice for Lisa. Get rid of Malcolm. "But, but I gave him my word", she splutters. "If he is a game player he might respect you for it", responds Justice. Lisa is ecstatic. She has permission to lie...on Survivor. How "on the edge" is that? From this point forward everyone is going to want to do it. A perceptive Malcolm is watching Lisa and her brother and is correctly analysing what is going on. Lisa's bro has snapped her back to her senses.

The immunity challenge involves running across a balance beam to a platform in the water. They must use a hook to snare three underwater bags. In each of these bags are pieces of rope and a bundle of sticks. Back on shore they must assemble a stick long enough, and sturdy enough, to knock over a target. Malcolm wins immunity which tops up the immunity idol he already has. Looks like Malcolm has a firm hold on at least the final four. While Malcolm is happy Lisa is less so. Just when she got herself all psyched up to play dirty, Malcolm wins immunity and ruins her plans.

Now, of course, all eyes turn to Abi and Carter. They are both outside of the alliance of four. People like Carter and keeping him would fit with their goal of keeping people who deserve to be there, while getting rid of Annoying Abi. On the other hand, practical considerations must also be considered. No body, no how is going to vote for Abi if she goes to the final three. Carter walks up on a discussion between Lisa and Mike and asks them, if they respect the game, to keep him. All the while Abi is running around talking about her phantom immunity idol...even heading off into the woods to retrieve a pretend idol from a pretend hiding spot. Abi also has another go at mouthing off and annoying everyone, leading Malcolm to tell us that she is like one of the Dementors from Harry Potter and that if she goes home tonight it is because she is a bitch. Lets not beat around the bush Malcolm. Mike says that Abi has every known psychiatric condition all rolled into one.

At Tribal Council, Carter tells the group that he doesn't deserve to go. Still, it is Carter who will be joining the jury. With Carter goes Georgia from our pool thereby seriously curtailing Georgia's Christmas shopping plans. Sorry about that Georgia. We have five Survivors left. Abi has another week to become loveable. Malcolm has another week to to become more gorgeous, Lisa has another week to determine God's will. I have another week to figure out another word for "meanwhile". Until then...

Outwit, Outplay, Outlast
Pat (aka Abi why don't you lying untrustworthy losers like me Gomez)