Survivor One World - March 28/12

Night 17 in Survivorland. There are six men and six women remaining. Colton is gone home with a sore tummy. Pat is happy Colton is gone. Alicia however, is feeling a little insecure without Colton. She thinks she may have to realign with the women and try the "girl power run". Having been told at Tribal Council they are merging, Survivors return to camp to find a feast waiting for them. The following morning they name their new tribe Tikiano (God Year). To celebrate the merge, chef Jonas is preparing young coconut, lightly carmelized with a dash of sea water. Food aside, Jay isn't pleased with the merge. He is back living with Tarzan and other people he doesn't really like. Tarzan is looking around him with dismay. He is hoping that the men would stay strong against the girls, but here they are cavorting with each other. Tarzan thinks the men should stick together and recruit free agent Alicia to their side. Mike agrees with Tarzan's plan but tells us privately that he isn't "in with Tarzan". For the challenge, Survivors are randomly divided into teams (m'thinks that Colton's sudden departure speeded up the merge while this challenge had been previously planned and set up as a team activity). The carrot at the end of the stick is a reward of pizza and beer and a "secret note". Each tribe must send three people, one at a time to dig under a log fence, crawl under a bunch of logs, and dig up one of three bags of (wait for it) puzzle pieces. Once all three bags of puzzle pieces have been retrieved, two other members must assemble the puzzle. It's a nailbiter, but the team of Alicia, Troy(zan), Christina, Sabrina, Chelsea and Jay win. They head off for their pizza and beer. After eating they get to open their secret note, telling them that there is another idol hidden somewhere in the vicinity of the camp. The non-pizza/beer group are lamenting their loss while planning strategy. Tarzan has told Mike that the men should stick together to get rid of the women, but apparently he has neglected to tell Jonas the plan. This leads to a confrontation between Tarzan and Jonas. In the end Tarzan stalks off in a snit, saying he is going to drop out of the alliance. He tells us that he is willing to "fall on a sword" if necessary. Smartest of all though, is Troy. While the others are sleeping in the next morning, he is out looking for that hidden idol. And there, in the hollow trunk of a tree, he finds it. Troy adds to his riches when he wins the Immunity Challenge (standing on a log while balancing balls on a wooden disc). Armed with two immunity idols and tight with his Salani alliance, Troyzan is sitting pretty...at least for the moment. So the final pre-council strategizing begins. Jay thinks that Jonas should go, but Chelsea is sad because Jonas is nice and can cook. Troyzan doesn't think Jonas is the best choice and decides to tell Jonas about the plot against him. Jonas goes to Tarzan and apologizes for the earlier argument. Tarzan is moved to tears by the apology and decides that Kat is a better target for his alliance to vote for. While all this is going on, Chelsea is doing her laundry. She soaks it in the ocean, rubs the dirty spots with sand is and finally ready to drop it in boiling water. Tarzan, however, decides to drop his shorts in with her laundry. There is a lot of discussion about whether the dark spots on Tarzan's shorts are dirt or poop. Whatever the case, Chelsea opts to remover her laundry from the pot and quickly decides that Tarzan is a better target than the likeable Jonas. Jay is reluctant to change directions though, saying a change in plans can come back to bite you in the butt. At Tribal Council Jonas reveals that Kat was Tarzan's target ("why me!", asks Kat). Any post-apology good feelings Tarzan had toward Jonas evaporate. Tarzan says he is going to vote for Jonas and Jonas urges everyone to vote for Mike. Had Jonas kept quiet it is possible that my Kat would be saying farewell this week. Instead, Jonas is taking pool member Barb with him to obscurity. Until next week, Outwit, Outplay, Outlast Pat (aka Kat dodged another bullet Edorsson)

Survivor One World March 21/12

I hate Colton. I hate Alicia. I hate Colton and Alicia. Oh hello. Sorry. You caught me mumbling. A while ago I was yelling at the television so, in a way, you are lucky I was just mumbling. Manono has just returned from Tribal Council having kicked Monica to the curb. Christina has realized that she is seriously out of the loop. Colton tells her that she is the next to go, that no one will talk strategy with her and that she will have to make an alliance with a hermit crab. He also says she is a cockroach because she has managed to survivor so long. Just when you thought the bullying couldn't get any more base, we get reaquainted with Alicia. When Christina asks for a space to sleep, Alicia asks her why, since she will be gone soon anyway. To her credit Christina stands her ground and stays calm in the face of all this nastiness. Colton and Alicia paw and fawn each other while spitting venom at Christina. The Alicia aura is such that even Kat has a dream that Alicia kills her. Tree mail arrives promising a back yard game with a sweet reward. Turns out they have to bounce coconuts off a trampoline and try to land them on a target (call me old-fashioned, but this isn't a game I ever played in MY backyard having been decidedly short of both trampolines AND coconuts). The first tribe to knock out five targets wins reward. And what is reward, you ask? It is a trip to a Survivor ice cream parlour. Salani wins reward with Tarzan and Leif being the only Manono people with any skill at all at this game. Back at camp Colton lays all the blame on Christina even though Colton never hit a single target. Colton tells us that he hates Christina's face, her voice...in fact he hates everything about her. He tells her she can jump in the fire if she wants. He is brutal. I want to choke him. Does that make me a bad person? Having nothing to lose, Christina asks Leif and Jonas to support her. They are quite receptive but during the conversation Alicia comes up behind Christina and listens to the last part of the conversation. Alicia is then indignant that Christina would talk behind her back (having just returned from talking strategy behind Christina's back). By this time Rick is pulling me off the television set and Jonas is questioning whether such personal attacks on the part of Colton and Alicia are really necessary. Salani, meanwhile, is having the difficult decision of which flavoured ice cream they should choose and will that be with or without a cone. They don't even sully their reward with talk of strategy...it is just pure pleasure. Back at camp Manono, Colton is not feeling well. I can hardly believe my eyes when I see that it is Christina cradling his head in her lap and comforting him. He called you a cockroach Christina! He told you to jump in the fire! Fortunately (is that cruel?) Colton continues to get sicker. He has a headache and a pain in his belly. Eventually he heads off into the jungle where Christine finds him lying on the ground crying. Stab him, says Pat. But no. Christina goes and calls for the medical team. Turns out Colton has appendicities and needs to be taken to hospital. Dimples asks him if he still has the idol and gives him the option of keeping it or giving it to someone. Colton opts to keep it as a souvenir, much to the chagrin of Alicia who is suddenly feeling pretty vulnerable. After Colton is evacuated, Jonas is feeling like he might finally be able to flex his muscles. He feels that Colton may have received a little Karma and that Alicia should be the next to go. Not right now though, because tree mail arrives telling both tribes that they are going to tribal council. When they are all assembled, Dimples tells them about Colton's illness and then asks them to drop their buffs. The merge is occuring and all previous scheming is down the drain. Colton's departure means that Jan is out of the game. Sorry Jan. I wish you no ill will but I am glad that Colton is gone. My only regret is that he will now go through life believing he could have won, had it not been for his appendix. Next week might be the "March madness" recap episode but I'm not sure. In any case... Outwit, Outplay, Outlast Pat (aka Kat what's a pend o sitis Edorsson)

Survivor One World - March 14/12

Day 12 dawns on the women of Salani who are overjoyed, though somewhat confused, by the mens' decision to head off to Tribal Council when they didn't have to. I believe Sabrina speaks for all of us when she says that the guys are a mess. The girls are united though, and planning to stick together when the merge occurs. But wait. What's this? They head off to a challenge where Dimples informs them that they are to be divided into two totally new tribes. They have to drop their buffs, then each takes an egg and smashes it against their body. In each egg is either blue or orange dye, that determines the distribution of the tribe. Salani is the new blue tribe consisting of Chelsea, Sabrina, Troyzan, Mike, Jay, Kat and Kim. Manono is the orange tribe made up of Tarzan, Colton, Alicia, Jonas, Christina, Monica and Leif. The newly minted tribes must now participate in a reward challenge where the winning team gets PB and J sandwiches along with coffee. They also win the right to stay at the current camp while the losers must start over at a new beach. The challenge involves using a large bucket to haul water to fill another tub. Once the second tub is full enough it will drop releasing a flag signifying the winning team. The catch is that the bucket in which teams transport the water is full of holes. They must cover as many of the holes as they can with fingers and any available body parts to keep some water in the bucket during transport. The new Salani team narrowly wins and heads back to camp with bread, peanut butter, jam and coffee. They are delighted with the way things turned out for them. They have they physically strong players and 4 members of the cool girl alliance is intact. Meanwhile they find a bunch of crabs and catch a rooster to supplement their peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Could life get any better? Not having to worry about messy things like eating or finding shelter frees the members of Salani to plan. Kim forges an alliance with Troy and Jay, just in case the whole girl power thing doesn't work out. She also realizes that the idol intended for the girls' tribe was never found so she decides to look for it (now there's a plan...how is it no one thought of this before?). She finds it and shares her news with Chelsea, the one she trusts the most. Things aren't nearly so rosy for Manono. Leaving the challenge, they take their map and head off to their mystery camp with nothing but some fishing gear. They too find a chicken and even capture it in a cage. But not until the chicken walks away do they realize that one side of the cage is open. Colton is frustrated with his new tribe but gets to work shmoozing his new team mates. He befriends Christina while telling everone else that it is Christina he wants gone first. When he tells Alicia of his plan Alicia is uncertain. The guys have been doing crazy things and the girls are tight. However in the end Alicia consents. Jonas actively dislikes Colton and tells us that while everyone else busts their collective butts building a new camp, Colton is sitting on his ass and talking to the girls. Yet when Colton tells Jonas to vote for Christina he agrees.Colton suddenly decides that Monica is a bigger threat than Christine and that she should go first. He spreads the word and everyone signs in on the plan. Colton seems to have some Svengali sort of power over this tribe that I am just not seeing. He is annoying. He is not good at challenges and he is a manipulator. Should he not be the first to go? But everyone seems to feel that as long as they aren't the one being voted out they will go along with any plan (there is something reminiscent of the Holocaust here!). Colton's biggest problem appears to be getting Tarzan to remember the name is his supposed to write down. He can't even remember which girl is Monica. For the immunity challenge, teams must play three on three basketball in the water. There are various man-woman combinations but the first tribe to score three baskets will win immunity. The stars are Leif (strange but true) who fights tenaciously and Monica who gets Manono's single basket. Even Colton manages to get to the ball first and hangs on, despite having three people trying to get the ball away from him. In the end though, Manono loses and head off to Tribal Council. Christine and Monica believe Tarzan is the target but everyone else is targetting Monica. At Tribal Council, Dimples explores Tarzan's amazing vocabularly. Unfortunately Tarzan can't seem to string those big words together in any meaningful kind of order. We also learn he has nominal aphasia (forgets names) which explains why he couldn't remember the name of the person he was supposed to vote for. He apparently gets it all straightened out though, because when the ballots are counted Monica is heading home as per Colton's sinister plan. With Monica goes pool-member Lisa. Sorry to see you go Lisa! Thanks to Jack for sending photos of the Survivor buff he won from last season. I guess Jack is the good looking one in the photos? Until next week.... Outwit, Outplay, Outlast Pat (aka Kat keep your head down Edorsson)

Survivor One World - March 7/12

What could make Rick switch teams and start cheering for the women? More importantly, what would make Lynn text me to ask me if I was watching Survivor (with a WTF thrown in, I might add)? Well I could tell you, but you aren't going to believe me! Things start out normally enough. The men return to camp having voted Matt off. The Muscles vs Misfits alliances are holding strong and Colton is solid in his hatred of Bill. Day 9 finds the women of Salani gathering snails for breakfast. They are feeling buoyant. They have won the last two challenges and have discovered they quite like sauteed snails. The smell of cooking snails brings Jonas and Troy over for a visit. Jonas suggests that the women loan the men their fishing net and in return the men will give them half the fish they catch. The women (who were asking for favours themselves not so long ago) say no, sending the men off in an indignant huff. As usual, the ensuing griping is interrupted by a challenge. In this reward challenge Survivors must use a giant slingshot to shoot coconuts at a target. The first team to knock out five squares in a straight line (bingo-style) wins their choice of one of three rewards. They can buy Comfort (a blanket, pillow and a mattress) Protection (a tarp) or Luxury (coffee and donuts). The women threepeat, winning their third challenge. To their credit they pass on the donuts and snag themselves the tarp, having learned from their cold wet night under the palm fronds. The men call it flukey. Jonas even goes so far as to say the men lost because they didn't have time to learn the game. Bill calmly points out that the women didn't have any more time then the men and admits that the women are serious competitors. Grumble grumble, mumble, mumble stupid women, grumble. But speaking of stupid people, Leif and Bill are having a chat on the beach. Leif tells Bill that he feels so much better that Matt got voted off since he was never comfortable with Colton's idea of voting Bill off. Bill's eyes pop. The is news to him. Meanwhile Michael spots Bill and Leif talking and tells Colton. Like a queen on his throne, Colton orders Michael to send Leif to him. Colton badgers Leif into confessing that he did tell Bill that he was a target. Now that same target is painted squarely in the middle of Leif's t-shirt. Colton is in charge and no one messes with his alliance. Tree mail arrives in the form of a small puzzle and a note hinting at pairs of minds, being well balanced and being smart. Kat suggests that she would like to be paired with someone who is good at puzzles and implies that someone isn't Alicia. Alicia takes offense and Sabrina has to step in to calm things down. That kind of drama isn't helpful a few minutes before heading to a challenge. For the challenge, Survivors are paired up and bound together at the wrist. Each pair has to get over a teeter totter and assemble a puzzle. Once the puzzle is finished they collect a key. After all three keys are collected they can use them to open three locks. The team to get all three locks open first wins immunity. Alicia and Chelsea are the first pair to got out for the women and they have trouble with the first puzzle. Even after checking out the men's completed puzzle they can't figure it out. The men have nearly completed the entire challenge before the pair can get their first puzzle together. It is a rout. Back at camp the men are strutting like peacocks while the women try to decide whether Alicia (puzzle mangler) or Christina (long term target we just can't remember why) should go home. Sabrina thinks it should be Alicia whom she calls a dead weight with a mouth. But things are happening at the men's camp that will have a dramatic effect on Tribal Council. Leif and Bill come to talk to Colton. He refuses to talk to either of them and tells them to go away. This frustrates Bill who tries even harder to get Colton to talk to him. Nada. Colton tells Bill he is wishy washy and he doesn't even want to be around him. From this Colton floats the idea that maybe they should give the girls the immunity idol and go to Tribal Council to get rid of Bill. Some (Jay in particular) are aghast but the idea seems to take on a life of its own. Someone mentions the idea to Tarzan who jumps on it but with the intent of getting rid of Leif (or "the betrayal", as Tarzan now calls him). Right up until the last minute we don't know which tribe will show up at Tribal Council. The look on Dimples face when the men file in was well worth the price of admission. Even as Tribal Council proceeds, it still is not clear whether Bill or Leif is going home. Both Leif and Bill seem to believe it is Leif, but when the votes are counted, Colton gets his way and Bill is sent home. This, however, only comes after a disturbing discussion where Colton assures us his dislike of Bill is not racial...after all he has Afro-Americans in his life - his housekeeper. No, his dislike of Bill is because he is a struggling stand-up comedian. If Bill just had a back-up plan for his career he might be more acceptable to Colton. Huh? But all of that aside Bill is heading home and taking pool member Pam with him. In trading their immunity for a chance to get rid of a player whose only sin is that he is disliked by Colton, have the men committed the biggest blunder in Survivor history? Yes. Yes they have. Until next week Outwit, Outplay, Outlast Pat (aka Kat I suck at puzzles but not as much as Alicia Edorsson)