Survivor South Pacific - November 30/11

On night 27 the Tetunas return to camp having sent Whitney to Redemption Island. Now all of the former Savaii members are gone save for lil 'ole Cochran. Far from feeling secure, Cochran tells us that the "family" can turn on him at any time and his job is to not be Sharon Tate in this Helter Skelter scenario*. The next morning Cochran shares more stories of his geeky childhood. While I'm sure he means them to be endearing, Sophie and I just find them annoying. Cochran then calls the group together and asks them to save him for one more tribal council. He suggests that they should do this because it is his birthday in three days and because they owe him one for his defection from Savaii. Sophie is still not swayed. She does not feel the least indebted to Cochran. Coach and Albert, however, do feel a little twinge of guilt and seem willing to give him his extra day. But all of this comes to a screeching halt when they are summoned to the duel at Redemption Island. Ozzie is taking on Dawn and Whitney. The winner gets to stay in the game while the two losers (or non-winners, to be politically correct) will join the jury. The challenge involves balancing dishes on a long wooden paddle. Each minute a new dish is added. Dawn spills her crockery first and becomes the third member of the jury. Whitney is next and becomes the fourth member of the jury. With Dawn and Whitney go Cheryl and Barb from the pool. Ozzie gets to stay in the game, on Redemption Island. He tells us Redemption Island is his home and there is no one who is more suited to living there. Cocky yes, but Ozzie has kind of earned the right to be cocky. Back at camp everyone is bustling about doing camp stuff. Edna is washing clothes and Cochran and Brendon are fishing. Albert is snug in the hammock mocking the worker bees. He tells us that Survivor is about strategy and he will leave the housework to the Martha Stewarts in the group. What Albert seems to have forgotten is that the social game is a big part of Survivor strategy. His tribe-mates are annoyed by his laziness and Rick refers to him as Prince Albert. When Brendon makes a comment about how hard everyone is working, Albert has a moment of guilt and leaps up to fish the laundry out of the pot of water on the fire. In the process he spills water and puts out the fire. Albert immediately drops a notch on the estimation of his tribe. Even Coach comments that Albert is used to having things done for him. Coach also sees the value of keeping Edna and Cochran with him. He takes Cochran to the beach before Tribal Council to do Tai Chi. After the exercise Cochran feels calmed and Coach is feeling like he owes Cochran something. The Immunity Challenge is divided into two parts. In the first part, contestants must try to throw sandbags onto crates. The first three to get sandbags on all of their crates will move on to part two. Here they must use a giant slingshot to shoot coconuts in an effort to knock over wooden targets. The first to get all three targets will win immunity and reward. Albert, Rick and Sophie all move on the the second round, but it is Albert who ultimately wins. He gets the immunity necklace but also wins a shower and a massage back at camp. He can pick one other person to also receive a massage. He chooses Coach, then asks if he can take anyone else. Dimples says no, so Albert asks if he can give his massage to someone else. Dimples agrees and Albert opts to give his massage to Cochran on the basis that Cochran has a birthday coming up. Cochran is pleased but wonders what is really behind Albert's generosity. Does Albert want to work together? Or is this just Albert's way of getting on the good side of the next jury member? Either way, Cochran enjoys his shower and his massage and reveals that his birthday was actually 6 months ago. After the spa date, Albert tells Cochran that things are not looking so good for him. Cochran tells Albert that Rick called him Prince Albert thereby raising Alberts princely dander. Cochran's next stop is Edna. Follower that she is, Edna agrees that Rick should go. Cochran then floats the idea to Coach. Coach is not so easily swayed but feels the need to give us a big shpiel about "the tide" with a few Shakespearean quotes thrown in for good measure. As it turns out Coach was not swayed. Cochran, the last surviving member of Savaii is voted off at Tribal Council and heads off to join Ozzie on Redemption Island. With Cochran goes our own Roberta. Will Cochran beat Ozzie in a David and Goliath moment? Stay tuned! Until next week, Outwit, Outplay, Outlast Pat (aka Christine I got nothin' Markoski)

Survivor South Pacific - Nov 16/11

Well here we are, back again. Jim has headed off to Redemption Island leaving Dawn and Whitney as the sole surviving members of Savaii (well, except for Cochrane who jumped off the Savaii ship a while back). Coach tells his Upoluvians that Jim is the most dangerous type of person and now that he is gone they can continue to grow as a family (gag). Privately Coach tells us that the people on the bottom should never actually suspect that they are on the bottom. The next morning Coach and Cochran are doing yoga together on the beach. Coach confesses that he is worried about a blindside, and is especially concerned about Albert. For his part Cochran tells us that he is drinking Coach's "Kool-Aid" but only in small sips. He also is concerned about Albert, wondering if Albert might come after him. Off we go with the rest of the tribe to Redemption Island to watch the duel between Keith, Ozzie and Jim. The three hopefuls must balance a pole on the back of each outstretched hand. A board is balanced across the tops of the poles. The Survivor who is able to keep their board balanced the longest gets to stay on Redemption Island and in the game. The other two will be the first two members of the jury. Ozzie wins the challenge sending Keith (Pam) and Jim (Georgia) to the jury. So Day 26 finds Ozzie alone on Redemption Island and loving it. For a guy like Ozzie this really is paradise. The water is crystal clear, the beautiful reef is full of caves begging to be explored and the fish are plentiful. Best of all, Ozzie knows how to catch those fish. He is eating well, exercising regulary and saving himself the aggravation of camp politics. Speaking of camp politics, Dawn is talking to Coach and trying to convince him that she and Whitney would be loyal to whomever took them aboard. Coach ponders this and sees the truth in it. For the immunity challenge Survivors are asked to balance a bowl of rice on their head, carry it over two teeter-totters and empty it in a basket. The first to get sufficient rice in their basket to lower it and raise a flag wins immunity. Sophie wins immunity. As they turn to head back to camp, Dimples tells them that there will be a twist that will be revealed at Tribal Council. It is Day 27 and Cochran is disappointed in his performance in the challenge. Really. Who knew that a lack of balance, co-ordination or really any kind of physical skill would turn out to be a detriment in Survivor? Dawn and Whitney have decided that their only hope of survival lies in Albert. Albert is ripe for persuasion too. He wants to send Edna home to move Cochran up the pecking order (a reward for turning on his tribe) and to curry favour with Dawn and Whitney when they show up on the jury. Coach and Brandon see Albert making the rounds and Coach's conspiracy antennae begin to quiver. In spite of all the talk though, there are no surprises at Tribal Council. Dawn is voted off and sent over to Redemption Island along with Cheryl from the pool. The aforementioned twist in the game is that there is another immediate Immunity Challenge after which a second person will be voted off. A very desperate Whitney almost wins immunity based on a trivia game about survival skills. But Sophie once again snatches immunity away from Savaii and Whitney too, finds herself heading to Redemption Island with Barb from the pool. So Ozzie now has female companionship on Redemption Island whether he wants it or not. Will the mighty Ozzie beat both of these women and send them packing? Or will one of them stage an upset and send Ozzie onto the jury. I am torn whether I would like to watch swimsuit Ozzie for a while yet, or see him all cleaned up on the jury. Hmmmm... But it's not always about what I want, so stay tuned next week to see what happens. Until then.... Outwit, Outplay, Outlast Pat (AKA Christine I played this game once Markoski)

Survivor South Pacific - Nov 9/11

It is night 21. Upolu has returned to camp with their new buddy Cochran who has double agented himself right into their laps. But while Cochran may be peanut butter to Upolu's jam, he isn't popular with the former Savaii mambers. Ozzie says he wants to speak to Cochran alone but Brandon rushes over to make sure Cochran isn't going to come to some harm. Ozzie assures Brandon that they are not Jungle Mafia and that he does not intend to hurt Cochran. Ozzie does tell Cochran that he is responsible for that sizeable stab wound in his back. But Ozzie is kind compared to the other former Savaii members. Jim tells Ozzie he never F*^%#$g wants to talk to him again and Whitney tells Cochran that she is disgusted by him. Cochran plays it pretty cool once he realizes no one is going to listen to his explanations anyway. He tells us that, while he doesn't like having his former tribe mates mad at him, he is also proud of himself for standing up to the people who said he was weak and indecisive. And you know what? Your humble scribe is kind of proud of him too! The next day Coach tells us if he can be confident but not arrogant, humble but not weak, he can go all the way. The once mighty Ozzie, on the other hand, says his strategy is gone and there is nothing he can do but continue to hang on. Everyone heads off to the immunity challenge. This is sort of like a game of horseshoes, except with coconuts instead of horseshoes and holes instead of metal posts. Well ok maybe it was not exactly like horseshoes. In any case, the first four Survivors to toss a coconut into the circular hole move on to round two. Jim, Dawn, Sophie and Whitney move on. In the next round they have to crack coconuts, fill their mouths with the water, run through an obstacle course and spit the coconut water into a tube. The goal is to keep doing this until the level of fluid in the tube reaches the appropriate level. Jim narrowly beats out Sophie to win immunity. Back at camp Ozzie is the target and knows it. He tells Coach he doesn't want to leave and Coach confesses that he doesn't want him to go. Meanwhile Dawn is beginning to worm herself into Upolu's good graces. Jim has a different tactic. His idea is that he will give his immunity idol to Ozzie, then make a rousing speach at Tribal Council about why everyone should vote for the dishonorable scumbag Cochran. His plan seems to be based on the idea that, if they can't vote for Ozzie, they will vote for whomever they hear mentioned the most at Tribal Council. At Tribal Council Jim does tell the group that he is considering giving Ozzie the necklace, then proceeds to ramble on about how can such an honourable group as the Upoluvians stick with a low-life like Cochran. Coach says he isn't buying what Jim is selling. At the last moment, when the Right Honourable Jim has the opportunity to give Ozzie the idol he declines (likely because he has just realized that the group might just vote, not for the name they head the most, but for the man who did the most talking). And so, as expected, Ozzie is once again sent to Redemption Island, although this time it is not by his choice. His plan, he tells us, is to be nice to the people who come through, cook them a fish and send them packing. Meanwhile he makes the most of his new life. He explores the reef and catches a giant fish which he and Keith enjoy cooked over a shore fire. Life on Redemption Island is good and there is a lot of time to eat, get strong and plot revenge. No sooner have I recovered from footage of Ozzie strolling across a deserted beach in his bathing suit than we are zipped off to another immunity challenge. This time Survivors stand on a narrow beam while balancing a ball on a curved bow type deal. Dimples explains the challenge, but then tells the group that anyone who doesn't really need immunity can sit this one out and eat pastries and iced coffee instead. The entire Upolu tribe and Cochran sit out the challenge out while a desperate Jim, Whitney and Dawn compete for a very important immunity necklace. Whitney wins, thereby virtually ensuring that either Dawn or Jim will go. Dawn is well liked by the Upolu people but that very fact works against her. Her likability makes her more dangerous than Jim. Coach equates Dawn to a snake and Jim to a rhino. Both can kill you but in different ways. Jim calls a meeting, complete with flow charts drawn in the sand, to explain his idea. Lets get rid of Edna, he says. But getting rid of Edna is yesterday's news and tonight they really want to get rid of Jim. And so, when the votes are tabulated, Jim is joining Ozzie and Keith on Redemption Island. Also heading to Redemption Island this evening are Donna (traveling with Ozzie) and Georgia (traveling with Jim). Pam is already over there with her guy Keith. So we have three powerful competitors on Redemption Island ready to face off at the next duel (if I may mix my metaphors). Until next week... Outplay, Outwit, Outlast Pat (aka Christine they've already forgotten I existed Markoski)

Survivor South Pacific November 2/11

This Survivor update is brought to you by (and is fuelled by) Rolos candies and Sangre de Toros wine. Ozzie has just made a huge play by deliberately being voted off, assuming that he will beat Christine in the duel and return to his tribe, thereby keeping their numbers intact. Now as much as I love looking at Ozzie I don't want this to happen because a) that would mean my Christine goes home B) Ozzie has had his shot, its time for other people and 3) I don't like his cockiness in assuming he can beat my Christine. Cochran, though, is extremely happy because he has been involved in the biggest play in Survivor history, and has survived another Tribal Council. The plan is for Cochran to serve as a double agent after the merge. He is to infiltrate the Upolu camp after the merge to retrieve key information about alliances and votes. This is a role that Cochran feels he has been born to play. "After all", he tells us, "I have spent 18 days pretending to like these people. I should get an academy award". Meanwhile Ozzie is introducing himself to Christine at Redemption Island. He tells her the fabricated story that "the little weasel" Cochran unexpectedly pulled out the immunity idol at Tribal Council, resulting in Ozzie's departure. Ozzie is confident that Christine has bought his story. So confident in fact that he repeats it, and embellishes it, the next day at the duel. All members of both tribes are there to observe the duel. Ozzie tells them how angry he is at Cochran who lost the challenge for them, then used his idol to get Ozzie out. He plans on going back to his tribe for revenge, he tells them. Eventually they get around to the the actual duel which involves attaching pieces of stick together with rope to make a long pole. With this long pole, Ozzie and Christine must retrieve three keys on rings. These keys unlock three locks (qu'elle surprise). The first to get the locks undone and get through their door win the duel and get to return to the game. Sadly, from my perspective, Ozzie wins this one and Christine along with myself and Rick is finally going home after spending almost the whole game on Redemption Island. As expected, the duel also signals the merge. Old smelly buffs are exchanged for shiny new ones and the tribe returns to camp for a feast. Niceties are exchanged but it isn't long before the game is back on. Coach talks to Cochran who dutifully plays his double agent role. Interestingly Coach and Co. seems to have seen through the whole clever Ozzie scheme. Coach tells Cochran that his tribe suspects they are being played, and that they aren't buying the story. He goes on to tell Cochran that he knows what its like to be more intelligent and to be ostracized by the group. Cochran listens intently. Minutes later Cochran is spilling all the beans to the Upolu tribe and generally getting tight with them. He does return the idol to Ozzie though, as promised at Tribal Council. Cochran tells us that he may be a mastermind, but he isn't an evil mastermind. He does feel that, for the first time, he is in control of his own destiny and the shape of the game. On Day 21 Dawn and Cochran go for a walk for tree mail. Dawn tells Cochran that she doesn't like the way he has been treated by Savaii. She breaks down crying, telling him that she wishes she had stuck up for him. She seems ready to flip to the other side alongside Cochran. At the Immunity Challenge contestants are asked to stand on a narrow log while balancing a coconut across two ropes. At the end of each round the length of the ropes are lengthened to make the challenge more difficult. The last man and the last woman will each get immunity. Cochran and Edna are out first. Dawn holds on to win immunity amongst the women and our old pal Ozzie wins from the men.So two former Savaiirians have immunity. The tribes are even at six each. Any tie will be broken by drawing rocks. Cochran goes to Upolu and tells that that Savaii intends to vote for Rick. Dawn, wrestling with her ethical demons, desides that it is wrong to flip, leaving Cochran alone to decide the way the vote will go. At Tribal Council Upolu tells Savaii that they aren't buying what Savaii is selling. They say that Ozzie's "production" at the Redemption Island duel was "over the top". When the votes are cast there is, indeed, a tie between Rick and Keith. Everyone is asked to cast a second vote. This time Keith receives one more vote and is sent to Redemption Island. Cochran immediately turns to his tribe and says "I swapped. I'll explain.". But a couple of his tribe mates call him a coward, causing Brandon to to ask them not to talk to Cochran like that. As they leave Tribal Council, Brandon tells Cochran to stay close to him. It kind of looks like Cochran's die is cast whether he likes it or not. Will Cochran mend fences with his tribe? Will Brandon learn to shut his mouth at Tribal Council? Will Ozzie drop by to have dinner with me? Stay tuned for the answers to these and other questions. Until then, Outwit, Outplay, Outlast Pat (aka Christine done like dinner Markoski)