It's night 16. Zapatera returns from a tough Tribal Council with some wounds and hurt feelings. David admits that he voted for Serita and Serita tells us that the gang of six has a black hole in it.
At Redemption Island Stephanie is driving Matt crazy with her chatter. He can hardly wait for the duel so he send her away. He doesn't have to wait long as the two tribes get tree mail announcing the duel. Phillip asks to go from Ometepe and Rob goes along as his chaperone. As Rob tells us, Phillip tends to run his mouth off and is dangerous because of his stupidity. Ralph and David watch the duel on behalf of Zapatera.
The duel involves a pattern matching memory game. Matt takes an early lead and goes on to win, thus sending a tearful Stephanie home, along with Georgia from the pool. Matt (my guy) has now won 5 consecutive duels and has spent 12 nights on Redemption Island.
On the way back to camp, Phillip asks Rob how much they should tell the rest of the tribe. "Everything", says Rob. "I don't want to start playing that game". Privately Rob tells us that he is happy Phillip made the comment, because Rob intends to use it against him. Sure enough, back at camp, Rob tells the rest of the tribe that Phillip wanted to withhold information from them. This, of course, makes Phillip about as popular as a wood tick in a nudist colony (not that he was exactly soaring in the polls anyway!).
At Camp Zapatera, David and his cerebral arrogance is beginning to wear on his tribe mates. Serita encourages this as it takes the heat off her. Meanwhile the Ometepids are having a rice controversy. Apparently Rob likes the crispy rice at the bottom of the pot. The girls have agreed to save it for him. Phillip hears the discussion and goes over and asks for some of the crispy rice. "No", say the girls "we are saving it for Rob". Not surprisingly Phillip goes on another rant. "Rob, Rob, Rob - that's all I hear" says Phillip who tells us that Rob gets deference because the girls (literally) sleep in his underwear. Phillip does not explain whether Rob is in said underwear at the time. Phillip feels that as the senior member of the tribe he should get deference from the tribe, not Rob. "I will eliminate him", he tells us, "and that's all I have to say". Listening to this, I was having trouble believing that Phillip is done talking on this, or any other, subject.
The Immunity/Reward challenge is a muddy battle between the two tribes. They must move as a team through an obstacle course that is physically very demanding. On the way they have to collect three suspended bags containing balls. Once they have all the balls and are at the end of the course, they must get all six balls into a basket. Ometepe takes an early lead, but Zapatera catches up when Phillip falters and requires help. Once again though, it is Grant who comes through with a spectacular performance at shooting baskets to pull the challenge out of the crapper. So Ometepe once again wins immunity and reward - a helicopter ride to an active volcano where they have a sumptuous picnic lunch. In 18 days, no one else on this tribe seems to have figured out that in every reward is a hidden clue. Rob sees some Piroline cookies in a jar and thinks hmmmm...cylindrical just like a rolled up clue. Sure enough he fishes the clue out of the jar and, because he already has the idol, tosses into the volcano. In spite of Rob's scullduggery the tribe is having a great time, and even Phillip feels like he is a part of the fun.
Zapatera isn't having nearly as much fun. Serita is trying to swing the vote to David but Serita struggled during the challenge. Once again the tribe is faced with the loyalty vs strength dilemma. At tribal council Dimples asks Ralph about the tribe's cohesiveness and ends up having to explain what cohesiveness means. Cue eye rolling by David. When the votes are counted it is Serita heading to Redemption Island. "I wish I'd have brought my stuff", she mutters as she takes her leave. So Serita, and our own Debbie, join Matt (my guy) at Redemption Island. Will she survive another week? Stay tuned!
Until next week
Outwit, Outplay, Outlast
Pat (aka Matt I'm a machine Elrod)
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Survivor Redemption Island - March 23/11
We rejoin our hardy bunch of Survivors on Night 13. Krista is arriving at Redemption Island, eager to meet Matt who she admired from afar as an observer at one of the duels. She tells Matt she intends to give him a run for his money, and he decides she is a firecracker who is there for business.
As the Zapaternites wake up the next morning, Steve is ruminating on how Krista and Stephanie voted for him. When Stephanie tells Steve that it wasn't personal, she just didn't think he was strong enough for the challenges, Steve is offended. Remember this is an ex-NFL player with a six pack and grey hair talking to a small but wiry girl.
At Ometepe Natalie and Ashley are having a spa day. They pluck hairs and clip eyebrows and mock Rob and Phillip who are busy doing chores around camp. Phillip asks them if they will check the fire every half hour. "The pageant is over", he tells them.
At Redemption Island Krista receives her luxury item - her bible. Turns out both Matt and Krista have a strong Christian faith and make a real connection. It doesn't save Krista though, who loses the duel (involving grabbing sacks with a grappling hook, then solving a table maze). And so we say a final goodbye to Krista and her alter ego Barb. Matt (my guy) has now won his fourth duel and lives to fight another day. As Krista is leaving she gives Matt a hug and gives him her bible. Andrea, who has been sent by her tribe to watch the duel sees this and suddenly is not quite so in love with Matt, sensing he might be a threat.
On Day 15 we find Serita complaining about her tooth. Not a toothache but an infected gum caused by poking it with a stick. Julie thinks Serita is a princess and a drama queen and Ralph just thinks she's dumb for poking a stick in her mouth. She is wearing on her other tribe-mates as well. David, in particular, thinks that Stephanie is a more worthy player. He takes Stephanie aside and tells her she should talk to everyone and convince them to let her stay and to give Serita the boot. "How do I suck up to people I hate?" wonders Stephanie "and why didn't I learn this in school?". She starts with Steve. She apologizes to Steve for voting for him and gently broaches the topic of voting for Serita instead. Steve seems agreeable to the plan but tells us privately that, while he is willing to give Stephanie the benefit of the doubt for now, he is really not sure if her apology came from her heart.
Meanwhile, over at the Zapatera camp, Phillip spots some clouds and tells the group they need to gather wood before the storm. "He didn't really ask" comments Ashley as she and Natalie continue to watch Phillip's flurry of activity. Phillip flips out and tells them to get off their butts and do some work. Rob comments to Grant that they are 19 and 20 year old girls - you can't really expect them to work. Besides, Rob feels it is in his best interest if the girls annoy the crap out of everyone and make it easy to vote them off later. Still, Rob worries that Phillip's attitude will fracture the tribe. He takes Phillip aside and "plays Arafat" to bring peace to the camp.
The reward/immunity challenge involves a giant slingshot. Two members of each tribe (Phillip and Natalie for Zapatera and Stephanie and David for Ometepe) must use the slingshot to shoot balls out across the beach. Their tribe members must try to catch the balls in a contraption similar to a lacrosse net. The first tribe to catch five balls wins reward and immunity. Grant, once again, is a machine. He catches three balls for Ometepe, allows Rob to catch one, then gets the fifth to win the challenge. Ometepe heads off to enjoy their reward - a picnic on the side of a mountain overlooking the Bay of San Juan del Sur. As they are enjoying the picnic, Rob spots a clue rolled up under the centrepiece. He is willing to let someone else find this one, but Grant grabs it and calls Rob over to have a look at it. While they are looking at it Phillip comes up the stairs and sees what they are looking at. Rob tells us that he and Grant feel like they did in school when they got busted by the principal. While outwardly cordial Phillip is PO'd that his alliance would not share the clue with him. He goes off into one of his patented Phillip rants about how he served his country and if someone is going to go behind his back "Me and the US got something for you, baby". He also tells us that he has coined a name for their alliance - Stealth R Us - with himself as the specialist, Rob as the mentalist and Grant as the assassin. Gag.
At Zapatera Serita is hoping her loyalty will save her and Stephanie is hoping that he strength in challenges will be her salvation. At tribal council Steve calls Serita an uptown girl and David says that trust is not what the tribe should be looking for right now. In spite of all the fine words though, it is Stephanie who watches Dimples snuff her torch and send her off to Redemption Island. With Stephanie goes Georgia from our pool. Together they will cuddle up with Matt (my guy) until the next duel.
Until next week...
Outwit, Outplay, Outlast
Pat (aka Matt damn I'm good Elrod)
As the Zapaternites wake up the next morning, Steve is ruminating on how Krista and Stephanie voted for him. When Stephanie tells Steve that it wasn't personal, she just didn't think he was strong enough for the challenges, Steve is offended. Remember this is an ex-NFL player with a six pack and grey hair talking to a small but wiry girl.
At Ometepe Natalie and Ashley are having a spa day. They pluck hairs and clip eyebrows and mock Rob and Phillip who are busy doing chores around camp. Phillip asks them if they will check the fire every half hour. "The pageant is over", he tells them.
At Redemption Island Krista receives her luxury item - her bible. Turns out both Matt and Krista have a strong Christian faith and make a real connection. It doesn't save Krista though, who loses the duel (involving grabbing sacks with a grappling hook, then solving a table maze). And so we say a final goodbye to Krista and her alter ego Barb. Matt (my guy) has now won his fourth duel and lives to fight another day. As Krista is leaving she gives Matt a hug and gives him her bible. Andrea, who has been sent by her tribe to watch the duel sees this and suddenly is not quite so in love with Matt, sensing he might be a threat.
On Day 15 we find Serita complaining about her tooth. Not a toothache but an infected gum caused by poking it with a stick. Julie thinks Serita is a princess and a drama queen and Ralph just thinks she's dumb for poking a stick in her mouth. She is wearing on her other tribe-mates as well. David, in particular, thinks that Stephanie is a more worthy player. He takes Stephanie aside and tells her she should talk to everyone and convince them to let her stay and to give Serita the boot. "How do I suck up to people I hate?" wonders Stephanie "and why didn't I learn this in school?". She starts with Steve. She apologizes to Steve for voting for him and gently broaches the topic of voting for Serita instead. Steve seems agreeable to the plan but tells us privately that, while he is willing to give Stephanie the benefit of the doubt for now, he is really not sure if her apology came from her heart.
Meanwhile, over at the Zapatera camp, Phillip spots some clouds and tells the group they need to gather wood before the storm. "He didn't really ask" comments Ashley as she and Natalie continue to watch Phillip's flurry of activity. Phillip flips out and tells them to get off their butts and do some work. Rob comments to Grant that they are 19 and 20 year old girls - you can't really expect them to work. Besides, Rob feels it is in his best interest if the girls annoy the crap out of everyone and make it easy to vote them off later. Still, Rob worries that Phillip's attitude will fracture the tribe. He takes Phillip aside and "plays Arafat" to bring peace to the camp.
The reward/immunity challenge involves a giant slingshot. Two members of each tribe (Phillip and Natalie for Zapatera and Stephanie and David for Ometepe) must use the slingshot to shoot balls out across the beach. Their tribe members must try to catch the balls in a contraption similar to a lacrosse net. The first tribe to catch five balls wins reward and immunity. Grant, once again, is a machine. He catches three balls for Ometepe, allows Rob to catch one, then gets the fifth to win the challenge. Ometepe heads off to enjoy their reward - a picnic on the side of a mountain overlooking the Bay of San Juan del Sur. As they are enjoying the picnic, Rob spots a clue rolled up under the centrepiece. He is willing to let someone else find this one, but Grant grabs it and calls Rob over to have a look at it. While they are looking at it Phillip comes up the stairs and sees what they are looking at. Rob tells us that he and Grant feel like they did in school when they got busted by the principal. While outwardly cordial Phillip is PO'd that his alliance would not share the clue with him. He goes off into one of his patented Phillip rants about how he served his country and if someone is going to go behind his back "Me and the US got something for you, baby". He also tells us that he has coined a name for their alliance - Stealth R Us - with himself as the specialist, Rob as the mentalist and Grant as the assassin. Gag.
At Zapatera Serita is hoping her loyalty will save her and Stephanie is hoping that he strength in challenges will be her salvation. At tribal council Steve calls Serita an uptown girl and David says that trust is not what the tribe should be looking for right now. In spite of all the fine words though, it is Stephanie who watches Dimples snuff her torch and send her off to Redemption Island. With Stephanie goes Georgia from our pool. Together they will cuddle up with Matt (my guy) until the next duel.
Until next week...
Outwit, Outplay, Outlast
Pat (aka Matt damn I'm good Elrod)
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Survivor Redemption Island - March 16/11
Night 11. Kristina has gone to Redemption Island to spend the night with Matt (which is not such a bad gig, now that I think about it). The rest of the Ometepernites return to camp in the rain. Phillip realizes he is the odd man out. Really Phillip? How astute of you! In an apparent attempt to endear himself to the tribe Phillip snuggles up with Rob. Ewww.
The next morning Rob is in a foul mood. Phillip had his knee in Rob's back all night and everyone is bugged by the man in the "pink panties". But, reasons Rob, maybe Phillip needs to stay since he takes the heat away from Rob.
Tree mail arrives suggesting that each tribe chose two people to observe the next duel at Redemption Island. Rob and Grant go from Ometepe and Krista and Stephanie from Zapatera. Stephanie and Krista are anxious to send a message to the other tribe that they are available and will be solid allies when the merge occurs. They get their chance near the end of the duel. As Matt is finishing his puzzle he strikes up a conversation with Rob and Grant asking why they kicked him out (whoa little mister, shouldn't you be focusing on that there puzzle?!. Rob responds that it takes more than one person to kick someone out. Stephanie pipes up that it must be nice to have such a solid tribe and makes it pretty clear that she and Krista are not nearly so tight with their tribe. Matt (ahem - MY GUY) goes on to win the duel, sending Kristina home along with Selina from our pool. Krista and Stephanie return to camp buzzing with hope that Rob will be their salvation if they can just hold on until a merge.
Back at camp Phillip is commenting to Andrea that nobody cuddles with him and that he doesn't get to whisper with anyone they way she used to whisper to Matt. Matt is long gone, says Andrea while inching away from the crazy man. But Phillip insists that he is the man to lead an alliance that will overthrow King Rob. At Zapatera Stephanie and Krista are exasperated by their tribe. There is zero talk of strategy and no one is playing the game except them.
Dimples calls everyone together for a reward/immunity challenge. The reward is the ultimate coffee break - coffee with all the fixings, pastries, muffins and fruit. Each tribe must appoint a caller who will verbally guide their blindfolded tribe mates through a maze to collect bags of puzzle pieces. Once all the bags are collected the caller will empty the bags and solve the puzzle to win the challenge. Zapatera appoints Stephanie as their caller on the advice of Serita. Not surprisingly Ometepe chooses Boston Rob for their caller. Its a close race but Ometepe's Grant is a machine and Stephanie has trouble with Ralph who keeps yelling and talking over Stephanie and demanding her attention. Rob gets the puzzle pieces first and, in spite of temporarily losing a puzzle piece on the ground, assembles the puzzle first. The Ometepeeps grab their booty and head back to camp. Grant takes the lid off the coffee and sees a clue hidden in the grounds. He shows Rob and then provides a screen so that Rob can get the clue and take it off into the jungle without being seen. What Grant doesn't know is that Rob already has the idol and that he exchanges this new clue with the vague clue #1 that he got earlier. Meanwhile the sugar high seems to be affecting Phillip's - uh - libido. He has suddenly began flirting with the sweet young things who just don't seem to be feelin' the love.
Things are not so rosy at Camp Zapatera. Serita and David fight. Serita says David wouldn't have been a good caller in the challenge because he gets flustered when stressed. "From now on I do all the puzzles", proclaims David. The only decision to be made by the Zapatruvians is whether it is Krista or Stephanie going to Redemption Island. Stephanie was the caller and puzzle solver in the challenge so many think she should go. Steve is more inclined to think Krista should go and that maybe David should have been more assertive in stepping up to be the caller in the challenge. When the votes are counted at Tribal Council, it is Krista who is leaving, taking our Barb with her to Redemption Island. Who will be next? Will Matt (my guy) hang on for another week? Will Phillip find a friend to snuggle with?
Until next week,
Outwit, Outplay, Outlast
Pat (aka Matt dodged another bullet Elrod)
The next morning Rob is in a foul mood. Phillip had his knee in Rob's back all night and everyone is bugged by the man in the "pink panties". But, reasons Rob, maybe Phillip needs to stay since he takes the heat away from Rob.
Tree mail arrives suggesting that each tribe chose two people to observe the next duel at Redemption Island. Rob and Grant go from Ometepe and Krista and Stephanie from Zapatera. Stephanie and Krista are anxious to send a message to the other tribe that they are available and will be solid allies when the merge occurs. They get their chance near the end of the duel. As Matt is finishing his puzzle he strikes up a conversation with Rob and Grant asking why they kicked him out (whoa little mister, shouldn't you be focusing on that there puzzle?!. Rob responds that it takes more than one person to kick someone out. Stephanie pipes up that it must be nice to have such a solid tribe and makes it pretty clear that she and Krista are not nearly so tight with their tribe. Matt (ahem - MY GUY) goes on to win the duel, sending Kristina home along with Selina from our pool. Krista and Stephanie return to camp buzzing with hope that Rob will be their salvation if they can just hold on until a merge.
Back at camp Phillip is commenting to Andrea that nobody cuddles with him and that he doesn't get to whisper with anyone they way she used to whisper to Matt. Matt is long gone, says Andrea while inching away from the crazy man. But Phillip insists that he is the man to lead an alliance that will overthrow King Rob. At Zapatera Stephanie and Krista are exasperated by their tribe. There is zero talk of strategy and no one is playing the game except them.
Dimples calls everyone together for a reward/immunity challenge. The reward is the ultimate coffee break - coffee with all the fixings, pastries, muffins and fruit. Each tribe must appoint a caller who will verbally guide their blindfolded tribe mates through a maze to collect bags of puzzle pieces. Once all the bags are collected the caller will empty the bags and solve the puzzle to win the challenge. Zapatera appoints Stephanie as their caller on the advice of Serita. Not surprisingly Ometepe chooses Boston Rob for their caller. Its a close race but Ometepe's Grant is a machine and Stephanie has trouble with Ralph who keeps yelling and talking over Stephanie and demanding her attention. Rob gets the puzzle pieces first and, in spite of temporarily losing a puzzle piece on the ground, assembles the puzzle first. The Ometepeeps grab their booty and head back to camp. Grant takes the lid off the coffee and sees a clue hidden in the grounds. He shows Rob and then provides a screen so that Rob can get the clue and take it off into the jungle without being seen. What Grant doesn't know is that Rob already has the idol and that he exchanges this new clue with the vague clue #1 that he got earlier. Meanwhile the sugar high seems to be affecting Phillip's - uh - libido. He has suddenly began flirting with the sweet young things who just don't seem to be feelin' the love.
Things are not so rosy at Camp Zapatera. Serita and David fight. Serita says David wouldn't have been a good caller in the challenge because he gets flustered when stressed. "From now on I do all the puzzles", proclaims David. The only decision to be made by the Zapatruvians is whether it is Krista or Stephanie going to Redemption Island. Stephanie was the caller and puzzle solver in the challenge so many think she should go. Steve is more inclined to think Krista should go and that maybe David should have been more assertive in stepping up to be the caller in the challenge. When the votes are counted at Tribal Council, it is Krista who is leaving, taking our Barb with her to Redemption Island. Who will be next? Will Matt (my guy) hang on for another week? Will Phillip find a friend to snuggle with?
Until next week,
Outwit, Outplay, Outlast
Pat (aka Matt dodged another bullet Elrod)
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Survivor Redemption Island - March 9/11
On the evening of night 8, the Zapateruvians return to camp minus Russell. We see Russell arriving at Redemption Island camp having just been voted out for the very first time in all of his Survivor experiences. He is surprised to see Matt, not Francesca, in the tent. Russell admits that Francesca would have been an easier opponent, but he is confident he can take "Matt's house from him". Then, as the others arrive, they can "sleep in the mud".
Morning arrives early at Camp Ometepe. Phillip feels the need to sweep the camp and it doesn't contribute to his burgeoning popularity. One of the girls calls him annoying and weird, while Rob wonders who wears pink tighty whities on Survivor. Even more annoying is the fact that Phillip has stuff dangling that Rob finds disgusting. Fortunately we are spared that visual. Presumably the cameraman assigned to cover Phillip was in the bush vomiting right about then.
Over at the Zapatera camp, Stephanie and Krista find themselves stuck with the "goobers" now that their man Russell has been exiled. While they are lying on the beach discussing their situation, Ralph decides it is time to reveal to the rest of the tribe that he has the idol. He feels it will firm up his control on the tribe, but Mike, in a cautionary tone, wonders if they might not see Russell back.
Tree mail arrives asking for two volunteers from each tribe to go to Redemption Island to watch the duel. Phillip asks to go (to seek "intel") and suggests that Kristina go along. Sarita and Ralph go from the Zapatera tribe. The challenge involves standing wooden tiles on end along a series of wooden planks with a lot of peaks and valleys. Russell and Matt must arrange these tiles along the course while avoiding trip wires which, if touched, will knock the tiles over. The idea is to set the tiles up, then knock them over, domino fashion. This will release a ball which will break a tile. Matt is the first to get his set up, but it stops halfway through the course. Russell has a similar problem. Finally Matt (my guy) gets the tiles to topple all the way to the end of the course, ensuring that Russell really will go home. But what is this? Russell pulls his hat over his eyes. The cameraman zooms in. His chin is quivering. A tear falls (or maybe a snot droplet, who knows). Russell is crying. Not just getting a little dewy eyed, but sobbing. Yikes. I hardly knew where to look. Dimples asks him what he is feeling (very Dr. Phil)and Russell is quick to recover. It is his tribe's fault for throwing the challenge. They didn't come to play the game but for fame. This gets a rise out of Ralph who says he outwitted Russell because he has the idol. No you don't says Russell. Yes I do, says Ralph, digging it out of his bag. Not now, warns Kristina. Uhhh...I don't have the idol, says Ralph. Fooled you. Phillip jumps in at this point. He is trained to recognize a lie and he believes Ralph has the idol. This is just the intel he has been looking for. Meanwhile Russell makes his final exit. He vows this is the last time he will play Survivor. He has nothing else to prove. So Russell walks away, still feeling like a winner but a winner with a snotty nose. With him goes Jeff from the pool. Jeff also voted for Russell to win, as did Cheryl. Tough break, guys!
While part of the camp is away at the duel, Rob decides on a last ditch plan to find the idol. He has the clue but it is very vague. He creates a game called Royal Treatment which is designed to get everyone away from camp. The rules of the game are as vague as the idol clue. Apparently it involves lying on the beach. In any case, once everyone is away from camp, Rob feigns diarrhea and runs back to camp (presumably everyone thinks it is normal to want to poop in camp rather than in the surrounding jungle). He does a frantic hunt for the idol and finally sees it up on the branches of a tree. Mission accomplished, and no one seems suspicious.
Phillip and Kristina return from Redemption island. Phillip has devised a plan whereby he will release information to Rob about what he has learned at the duel, in exchange for Kristina's safety. Kristina thinks Phillip is "one big windbag" and Rob feels pretty much the same way when Phillip tries to strike a deal with him.
On day 11 word arrives about the next reward/immunity challenge. The reward is a complete barbeque set, complete with all the food. To win the barbeque and immunity, the tribes must use the Craftsman (insert Sears logo here) tool box they received when they arrived at camp. They use a crowbar to open a chest to retrieve a shovel. They use the shovel to uncover a hatchet. They use the hatchet to cut through a log to release 2 saws. They must then use the saws to saw off sections of board which then become steps to a ladder. They then have to untie a hammer and use it to hammer in three nails. The first to get all this done wins the barbeque. Apparently Phillip wasn't able to get any intel on how to saw because he is really bad at it. Ralph, on the other hand, knows his way around a tool box. With the possible exception of getting his hand tangled in his body hair, he is unstoppable. Zapatera wins the reward and Ometepe goes home to lick their wounds. At camp Phillip immediately calls a team meeting. Good job team, says Phillip. Silence. Rob tells us privately that there is palpable malice toward Phillip. Meanwhile Kristina is acting strangely and some wonder if she has the idol. Wanting them to believe she does, Rob suggests they should split the votes between Phillip and Kristina. The entire tribe wants to get rid of Phillip, but Rob feels Kristina is smarter and more of a threat. When Rob tells Phillip he is supposed to vote for Kristina he is angry. Didn't he just give Rob all this valuable intel in order to protect her? But it all falls apart at Tribal Council anyway, when Kristina and Phillip turn on each other. After the votes are counted it is Kristina who is heading over to cosy up with Matt (my guy) on Redemption Island. Will Kristina defeat Matt in the next duel? Will Rob recover from his diarrhea? Will Ralph get a manscape when Survivor is over. Stay tuned for the answers to these and other questions.
Until next week,
Outwit, outplay, outlast
Pat (aka Matt Pat thinks I'm pretty cute Elrod)
Morning arrives early at Camp Ometepe. Phillip feels the need to sweep the camp and it doesn't contribute to his burgeoning popularity. One of the girls calls him annoying and weird, while Rob wonders who wears pink tighty whities on Survivor. Even more annoying is the fact that Phillip has stuff dangling that Rob finds disgusting. Fortunately we are spared that visual. Presumably the cameraman assigned to cover Phillip was in the bush vomiting right about then.
Over at the Zapatera camp, Stephanie and Krista find themselves stuck with the "goobers" now that their man Russell has been exiled. While they are lying on the beach discussing their situation, Ralph decides it is time to reveal to the rest of the tribe that he has the idol. He feels it will firm up his control on the tribe, but Mike, in a cautionary tone, wonders if they might not see Russell back.
Tree mail arrives asking for two volunteers from each tribe to go to Redemption Island to watch the duel. Phillip asks to go (to seek "intel") and suggests that Kristina go along. Sarita and Ralph go from the Zapatera tribe. The challenge involves standing wooden tiles on end along a series of wooden planks with a lot of peaks and valleys. Russell and Matt must arrange these tiles along the course while avoiding trip wires which, if touched, will knock the tiles over. The idea is to set the tiles up, then knock them over, domino fashion. This will release a ball which will break a tile. Matt is the first to get his set up, but it stops halfway through the course. Russell has a similar problem. Finally Matt (my guy) gets the tiles to topple all the way to the end of the course, ensuring that Russell really will go home. But what is this? Russell pulls his hat over his eyes. The cameraman zooms in. His chin is quivering. A tear falls (or maybe a snot droplet, who knows). Russell is crying. Not just getting a little dewy eyed, but sobbing. Yikes. I hardly knew where to look. Dimples asks him what he is feeling (very Dr. Phil)and Russell is quick to recover. It is his tribe's fault for throwing the challenge. They didn't come to play the game but for fame. This gets a rise out of Ralph who says he outwitted Russell because he has the idol. No you don't says Russell. Yes I do, says Ralph, digging it out of his bag. Not now, warns Kristina. Uhhh...I don't have the idol, says Ralph. Fooled you. Phillip jumps in at this point. He is trained to recognize a lie and he believes Ralph has the idol. This is just the intel he has been looking for. Meanwhile Russell makes his final exit. He vows this is the last time he will play Survivor. He has nothing else to prove. So Russell walks away, still feeling like a winner but a winner with a snotty nose. With him goes Jeff from the pool. Jeff also voted for Russell to win, as did Cheryl. Tough break, guys!
While part of the camp is away at the duel, Rob decides on a last ditch plan to find the idol. He has the clue but it is very vague. He creates a game called Royal Treatment which is designed to get everyone away from camp. The rules of the game are as vague as the idol clue. Apparently it involves lying on the beach. In any case, once everyone is away from camp, Rob feigns diarrhea and runs back to camp (presumably everyone thinks it is normal to want to poop in camp rather than in the surrounding jungle). He does a frantic hunt for the idol and finally sees it up on the branches of a tree. Mission accomplished, and no one seems suspicious.
Phillip and Kristina return from Redemption island. Phillip has devised a plan whereby he will release information to Rob about what he has learned at the duel, in exchange for Kristina's safety. Kristina thinks Phillip is "one big windbag" and Rob feels pretty much the same way when Phillip tries to strike a deal with him.
On day 11 word arrives about the next reward/immunity challenge. The reward is a complete barbeque set, complete with all the food. To win the barbeque and immunity, the tribes must use the Craftsman (insert Sears logo here) tool box they received when they arrived at camp. They use a crowbar to open a chest to retrieve a shovel. They use the shovel to uncover a hatchet. They use the hatchet to cut through a log to release 2 saws. They must then use the saws to saw off sections of board which then become steps to a ladder. They then have to untie a hammer and use it to hammer in three nails. The first to get all this done wins the barbeque. Apparently Phillip wasn't able to get any intel on how to saw because he is really bad at it. Ralph, on the other hand, knows his way around a tool box. With the possible exception of getting his hand tangled in his body hair, he is unstoppable. Zapatera wins the reward and Ometepe goes home to lick their wounds. At camp Phillip immediately calls a team meeting. Good job team, says Phillip. Silence. Rob tells us privately that there is palpable malice toward Phillip. Meanwhile Kristina is acting strangely and some wonder if she has the idol. Wanting them to believe she does, Rob suggests they should split the votes between Phillip and Kristina. The entire tribe wants to get rid of Phillip, but Rob feels Kristina is smarter and more of a threat. When Rob tells Phillip he is supposed to vote for Kristina he is angry. Didn't he just give Rob all this valuable intel in order to protect her? But it all falls apart at Tribal Council anyway, when Kristina and Phillip turn on each other. After the votes are counted it is Kristina who is heading over to cosy up with Matt (my guy) on Redemption Island. Will Kristina defeat Matt in the next duel? Will Rob recover from his diarrhea? Will Ralph get a manscape when Survivor is over. Stay tuned for the answers to these and other questions.
Until next week,
Outwit, outplay, outlast
Pat (aka Matt Pat thinks I'm pretty cute Elrod)
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Survivor Redemption Island - March 2/11
We find our Ometepe Survivors returning from Tribal Council having just bounced Matt (my guy) over to Redemption Island. Rob wonders whether Andrea, knowing she has just been double crossed, will hold it against him (not likely, she wanted to hold it against Matt but you sent him away!!
At Redemption Island, Matt and Francesca find tree mail announcing their upcoming duel. One will stay and the other will go home for good. The two main camps are also reading their mail. They are all asked to pick a stone from a bag. Two people from each tribe receive a coloured stone that entitles them to go on a road trip to Redemption Island to watch the duel. Ashley and Andrea go from Ometepe, and David and Steve from Zapatera. Andrea is hoping she will have an opportunity to tell Matt she didn't vote for him. Rob is hoping that Andrea gets no such opportunity.
On with the duel which isn't really a duel at all (in case you were picturing pistols blazing at forty paces). Francesca and Matt must use rope and sticks to make a long stick (where is Red Green with his duct tape when you need him?). With the stick they are to reach through a wooden fence to retrieve three keys hanging on hooks. Once they have all three keys they can open the door of their little wooden cage and call themselves the winner. Francesca goes into the early lead as Matt suffers from an embarassingly flaccid stick. However Matt (my guy) gets it together just in time and wins the competition. So Francesca heads home, along with our own Kathy who gets her 10.00 back for being the first eliminated. Cheer up Kathy. Being first eliminated is way better than being the second!
Back at camp Ometepe, Rob is trying to woo Andrea by downplaying his role in getting Matt kicked off. He assures her that she is still in their alliance. Andrea agrees but privately tells us that she doesn't believe Rob. At camp Zapatera Steve and David tell Russell that Francesca defeated Matt in the duel. Their thinking is that they will send Russell to Redemption Island next and oh won't he be surprised when he finds Matt there instead of Francesca. Russell though, is concentrating on finding the idol. He and his minions are reviewing the clue and searching but the clue is ambiguous. Of course, Ralph already has the idol and watches the search in amusement. Not to be undone, Stephanie suggests they pretend to have an idol. If they can convince the others that they have the idol it may be as good as actually having one. Stephanie begins carrying her purse around camp, guarding it closely. Sure enough, the others notice this change in behaviour and suspect she has the idol. Steve worries that Stephanie and Krista will do anything Russell asks and tells us that they must all stay on their toes until the cancer that is Russell is cut out. Well Russell may not have cancer but he does have some kind of funny shit growing in his armpits. Apparently he manscaped his arm pits and now he a pimply rash. Even with these pus pockets all over his armpits, Russell still has a way with the ladies. Steve notes that he sits in the shade with concubines all day, sucking in all the energy and light around him like a black hole. Steve concocts a plan to throw the next challenge so that they can get Russell out as soon as possible. He pitches the plan to the others. There is general agreement except for Julie who doesn't feel quite right about throwing a challenge. They decide to wait until they get to the challenge to make the call. One thumb up means that they are going to throw the challenge.
For the challenge three tribe members are strapped to a giant water wheel. Three others spin the wheel, causing the others to go underwater every few seconds. They have to catch as much water as they can in their mouth, then spit it into a tube. Enough water in the tube releases a ball which signals a 7th member of the tribe to begin making a maze puzzle. Once the puzzle is complete, the ball is rolled through the maze to complete the challenge. Acting on their pre-arranged signal the Zapaterians drag their heels through the challenge and Ometepe goes on to win reward (chairs, a tarp, pillows and blankets) as well as immunity. Russell suspects his tribe-mates threw the challenge and is none too pleased.
When the Ometepids return to camp with their swag, Rob busies himself looking through the reward items for the clue that he knows must be hidden there. He looks everywhere until he notices Phillip snoozing on one of the new chairs. Telling him the chair looks crooked, Rob moves Phillip onto another chair. Phillip promptly closes his eyes and resumes his snooze. Rob examines the chair and finds the clue he has been looking for. It was under Phillips assets the whole time! It turns out the clue isn't terribly helpful, but Rob decides he is not going to tell anyone else he has it.
The plan for Tribal Council is beginning to unfold at the Zapatera Camp. Steve's plan is to split the votes between Russell and Stephanie to flush out the imaginary idol and get rid of Russell or one of his alliance. Smelling a plot, Russell suggests that Stephanie talk to the "old lady" (Julie) and see if she can turn her to their side. Stephanie does talk to Julie. Russell has experience, says Stephanie. We have the idol, says Stephanie. Julie seems convinced that her future lies with Russell and his concubines. The plan for this new alliance of four is to vote for Ralph. At Tribal Council Stephanie rants on about numbers and how they should never have thrown the challenge. When the votes are tabulated and it comes down to a three way tie between Ralph, Stephanie and Russell, she is much quieter. And when a second vote is held and Russell is being snuffed Stephanie looks stricken. She tells Julie (who obviously didn't do her part in the conspiracy) that "the storm's a-coming". So the mighty Russell is heading to Redemption Island where he expects to find Francesca but, in fact, finds Matt. Tune in next week to see if Russell beats Matt (my guy) and comes back to exact his revenge on the Zapateroids. Until then..
Outwit, Outplay, Outlast
Pat (aka Matt bring on the evil garden gnome Elrod)
At Redemption Island, Matt and Francesca find tree mail announcing their upcoming duel. One will stay and the other will go home for good. The two main camps are also reading their mail. They are all asked to pick a stone from a bag. Two people from each tribe receive a coloured stone that entitles them to go on a road trip to Redemption Island to watch the duel. Ashley and Andrea go from Ometepe, and David and Steve from Zapatera. Andrea is hoping she will have an opportunity to tell Matt she didn't vote for him. Rob is hoping that Andrea gets no such opportunity.
On with the duel which isn't really a duel at all (in case you were picturing pistols blazing at forty paces). Francesca and Matt must use rope and sticks to make a long stick (where is Red Green with his duct tape when you need him?). With the stick they are to reach through a wooden fence to retrieve three keys hanging on hooks. Once they have all three keys they can open the door of their little wooden cage and call themselves the winner. Francesca goes into the early lead as Matt suffers from an embarassingly flaccid stick. However Matt (my guy) gets it together just in time and wins the competition. So Francesca heads home, along with our own Kathy who gets her 10.00 back for being the first eliminated. Cheer up Kathy. Being first eliminated is way better than being the second!
Back at camp Ometepe, Rob is trying to woo Andrea by downplaying his role in getting Matt kicked off. He assures her that she is still in their alliance. Andrea agrees but privately tells us that she doesn't believe Rob. At camp Zapatera Steve and David tell Russell that Francesca defeated Matt in the duel. Their thinking is that they will send Russell to Redemption Island next and oh won't he be surprised when he finds Matt there instead of Francesca. Russell though, is concentrating on finding the idol. He and his minions are reviewing the clue and searching but the clue is ambiguous. Of course, Ralph already has the idol and watches the search in amusement. Not to be undone, Stephanie suggests they pretend to have an idol. If they can convince the others that they have the idol it may be as good as actually having one. Stephanie begins carrying her purse around camp, guarding it closely. Sure enough, the others notice this change in behaviour and suspect she has the idol. Steve worries that Stephanie and Krista will do anything Russell asks and tells us that they must all stay on their toes until the cancer that is Russell is cut out. Well Russell may not have cancer but he does have some kind of funny shit growing in his armpits. Apparently he manscaped his arm pits and now he a pimply rash. Even with these pus pockets all over his armpits, Russell still has a way with the ladies. Steve notes that he sits in the shade with concubines all day, sucking in all the energy and light around him like a black hole. Steve concocts a plan to throw the next challenge so that they can get Russell out as soon as possible. He pitches the plan to the others. There is general agreement except for Julie who doesn't feel quite right about throwing a challenge. They decide to wait until they get to the challenge to make the call. One thumb up means that they are going to throw the challenge.
For the challenge three tribe members are strapped to a giant water wheel. Three others spin the wheel, causing the others to go underwater every few seconds. They have to catch as much water as they can in their mouth, then spit it into a tube. Enough water in the tube releases a ball which signals a 7th member of the tribe to begin making a maze puzzle. Once the puzzle is complete, the ball is rolled through the maze to complete the challenge. Acting on their pre-arranged signal the Zapaterians drag their heels through the challenge and Ometepe goes on to win reward (chairs, a tarp, pillows and blankets) as well as immunity. Russell suspects his tribe-mates threw the challenge and is none too pleased.
When the Ometepids return to camp with their swag, Rob busies himself looking through the reward items for the clue that he knows must be hidden there. He looks everywhere until he notices Phillip snoozing on one of the new chairs. Telling him the chair looks crooked, Rob moves Phillip onto another chair. Phillip promptly closes his eyes and resumes his snooze. Rob examines the chair and finds the clue he has been looking for. It was under Phillips assets the whole time! It turns out the clue isn't terribly helpful, but Rob decides he is not going to tell anyone else he has it.
The plan for Tribal Council is beginning to unfold at the Zapatera Camp. Steve's plan is to split the votes between Russell and Stephanie to flush out the imaginary idol and get rid of Russell or one of his alliance. Smelling a plot, Russell suggests that Stephanie talk to the "old lady" (Julie) and see if she can turn her to their side. Stephanie does talk to Julie. Russell has experience, says Stephanie. We have the idol, says Stephanie. Julie seems convinced that her future lies with Russell and his concubines. The plan for this new alliance of four is to vote for Ralph. At Tribal Council Stephanie rants on about numbers and how they should never have thrown the challenge. When the votes are tabulated and it comes down to a three way tie between Ralph, Stephanie and Russell, she is much quieter. And when a second vote is held and Russell is being snuffed Stephanie looks stricken. She tells Julie (who obviously didn't do her part in the conspiracy) that "the storm's a-coming". So the mighty Russell is heading to Redemption Island where he expects to find Francesca but, in fact, finds Matt. Tune in next week to see if Russell beats Matt (my guy) and comes back to exact his revenge on the Zapateroids. Until then..
Outwit, Outplay, Outlast
Pat (aka Matt bring on the evil garden gnome Elrod)
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