Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Survivor Nicaragua - September 29/10

I am slowly coming down from my birthday high...which was mostly wine induced. Thanks for your good wishes. Now down to business.

It is night 6 and the LaFlorivians have just returned to camp having given Shannon the golden boot. While there is much talk about becoming a unified tribe, NaOnka is having nothing to do with it. She assures us they are not one big happy family and there is no point in pretending they are.

The next morning finds us at Camp Espada. Marty has located some howler monkeys and reasons that where there are monkeys there is likely to be fruit. I learned two things from this scene. Howler monkeys are really big, and grown men shouldn't try to talk to monkeys, which is exactly what Coach Jimmy proceeds to do. Even while talking to monkeys Coach Jimmy has his fans, but Marty isn't one of them. He is angry and tells us that everyone has glitter in their eyes and wonders why their team got saddled with a celebrity. He tells Jill that Coach Jimmy should be the next to go, but Jill advises that he show the Immunity Idol to the rest of the tribe to show them that he is all about team solidarity. As requested, Marty brings out the idol and reveals it to the Espadates. The tribe is suitably impressed, especially Jimmy T. who can't believe that Marty would share is treasure with the tribe. However, as Marty privately tells us, only one person can actually use the idol and that person is Marty. The other person not buying the idea that Marty is sharing the idol just to be a nice guy is Tyrone. Tyrone thinks that Marty is in it for himself (a wise assessment, I'd say).

Dan who, until now, has not been given much air time, tells us he is not getting much sleep. He is worried that the tribe will see him as a weak link but assures us that he is as strong as any of the women, and believes he is a much better physical specimen than Coach Jimmy. Meanwhile poor Dan hobbles around camp and makes sitting down an endurance sport. His struggles are noted around camp and there is talk that Dan should be the next to go.


Over at LaFlor the young guns are gathered around the campfire watching Jud (in snorkeling mask) blowing on the fire to get it going. Jud has a coughing fit which gets everyone laughing like they are...well...stoned. It's wood smoke you nobs. This is what happens when you are born after the 70's. Jud tells us that he wants to amuse the group but wants to be kept around for more than just his humour. As soon as I identify what else Jud has, I will post a special edition on the blog. This guy is as dumb as the tattoo girl on Amazing Race (but that's another story). Chase, Brenda, Sash, NaOnka and Kelly Purple are cementing an alliance while Alina and Kelly B. are looking more and more like the camp outcasts.

Dimples calls the tribes in for a combined Immunity and Reward Challenge. The reward is a Survivor garden with fruit, a herb garden and assorted food products. The winning tribe must roll 10 barrels out of a field, place them on ten separate platforms, then throw sandbags on top of the barrels. The tribe that gets a sandbag on top of all 10 barrels first, wins. Benry is a star for the youngsters and Tyrone has a good start for the oldsters. But, when Tyrone begins to have problems, he is reluctant to turn the sandbag throwing job over to anyone else. Meanwhile the LaFlorians (who opted not to use their medallion of power) come from behind to win.

When Kelly B. picks up the fruit basket to take it back to camp she sees a rolled up clue hidden amongst the bananas. Also spotting the clue is NaOnka. NaOnka helps carry the basket and when they reach camp she knocks Kelly B. down and grabs the clue, smashing a few bananas in the process. NaOnka has no remorse, telling us she would do the same thing again and that she would push Kelly so hard her leg would fall off. NaOnka's mom must be so proud of her. NaOnka shares the clue with Brenda but they are unable to solve the clue. The only thing they are certain of is that Alina should be the next to go.

At the Espada camp the strategizing begins. Jimmy T.tells the Coach that his talents are being wasted. Tyrone is in the hot seat because he wouldn't let anyone else throw sandbags during the challenge. Marty is enjoying the tension. The way Marty sees it, he needs to get rid of Coach Jimmy. If he gets rid of "daddy" the tribe will either crumble or come to him for support. He talks to Jill about his plan, but Jill does not see Coach as a threat. She believes Danny, Holly and Coach are all operating at about the same level.

When the votes are tabulated at Tribal Council it is, indeed, Coach Jimmy who is heading home, judged by the tribe to be physically too weak and strategically too much of a threat. Joining the coach for the final down is Kathy from the pool. Who will be next...I really hope its NaOnka!!

Until next week,
Outwit, Outplay, Outlast
Pat (aka Jill I'm actually the brains behind Marty but he doesn't know it Behm)

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Survivor Nicaragua - September 22/10

If I may sum up this episode in one sentence - The Survivor producers have packed a lot of nuts in this can of Planters.

We begin on night 3 as Espada returns to camp from their first Tribal Council. Holly is feeling bad about betraying her BFF Wendy. She tells us she needs to rethink everything in order to better prove that she can kick everyone's ass. Man, you just barely made it through your first tribal council without having a nervous breakdown. Maybe we should save the talk about ass-kicking for a later date, Holly!

In spite of a sleepless night (and we old people get crabby without sleep)Espada has their morning team meeting where they decide what they need to accomplish for the day. While it looks like a pretty well-oiled system, Jimmy T. resents the fact that Jimmy J. seems to be calling the shots while he is largely ignored. He wants to boss a few people around too. Marty figures he will just let himself be bossed by everyone right now, while he figures out how he can turn it to his advantage later on.

Meanwhile things begin to get seriously weird. Jill is tentatively tasting some snails. She frowns a little but continues eating, while Holly watches. She then offers Holly some snails and says they are good. Holly flips out seeming to believe that Jill is trying to poison her. She runs off in a rage. Not unpredictably, this causes some talk among Holly's tribe-mates. Holly sees them talking, assumes they are talking about her and decides to get revenge on Dan. She steals his shoes, fills them with sand and puts them in the water. The next morning Dan notices that his 1,600.00 alligator shoes are missing (puleeez...you were coming to the jungles of Nicaragua. Wear a pair of hikers!!) Filled with guilt Holly steps forward and confesses to the shoe caper, prompting Tyrone to comment that he is going to keep one eye on Holly and the other eye on his shoes. Later Holly cries and tells Coach Jimmy that she wants to go home. He gives her a pep talk and persuades her to stick around to help the team.

Meanwhile, things are no less crazy at Camp La Flor. NaOnka can't find a sock. Having no dryer to blame it on, she concludes that someone has deliberately stolen it to mess with her mind. For revenge she randomly picks up someone else's socks and puts them on. When Jud sidles over with the intent of asking her if perhaps she is wearing his socks, NaOnka explodes at him. This is a woman with a chip, (no, make that an entire giant redwood) on her shoulder.

The challenge is a combined Immunity and Reward challenge. The goal is to slither one by one through a mudpit, under some logs and over to a haystack. Hidden in the haystack are 4 balls. Once a tribe has collected all four balls, tribe members must bounce the balls, relay-style, along a series of shields and deposit them in a barrel. The first tribe to get all four balls in their barrel wins both immunity and the choice of either fishing gear or a tarp and a rope. The Espadites elect to use their Medallion of Power that allows them to start with one ball already in the barrel. They also get to sit out a weaker player. It pays off as the Oldsters win the challenge thanks to some fine ball bouncing by Tyrone.

When the Espadrilles get back to camp they find a clue to a hidden immunity idol among their fishing gear. Together they solve most of the puzzle but it is Jill (my girl!) who figures out that the last bit of the puzzle refers not to a tree that looks like a man but to tree mail (tree male...get it!?) She passes this bit of information along to Marty and shortly after Jill and Marty find the idol.

At the La Flor camp NaOnka is regretting her choice to sit out the challenge. She had hoped to catch Kelly B using her artificial leg as an excuse. Little did she expect that Kelly would shine in the challenge. Chase and Brenda are starting to get very cosy and Kelly B, Alina and Shannon think it might be wise to split the pair up. Shannon tells Chase that Brenda is playing him and that he should vote for her at Tribal Council. Chase feels trapped between his alliance with Brenda and his all-boy alliance. Meanwhile Brenda and NaOnka notice that Shannon is talking to everyone but them and decide to they might have enough clout to get rid of him. Brenda talks to Chase but is overheard by members of the Shannon faction.

At Tribal Council, Shannon goes off the deep end, blowing more hot air than Hurricane Igor. He trashes Chase for being friends with Brenda, he asks Sash if he is gay, saying he just has to throw it out there. He tells a disbelieving Dimples that New York is full of gay people. Jud keeps shushing Shannon. But no sooner does Shannon quiet down than NaOnka goes off on a tirade against Fabio (Jud). We are only five days into this thing and everybody hates each other. This is going to be such a great season!!

Eventually they actually get around to voting and it is Shannon who goes home along with Barb. Barb has a family wedding coming up very soon so its probably just as well she isn't distracted by having to help Shannon count gays in New York.

Until next week,

Outwit, Outplay, Outlast
Pat (aka Jill they're called escargot you idiot Behm)

Who You Voted for in Survivor Nicaragua

I think we had a record number of votes this time and here is how the votes were distributed:

Kathy, Lisa and Debbie voted for Marty
Marie and Donna voted for Sash
Grace and Lynn voted for Jill
Georgia and Mitzi voted for Tyrone
Roberta voted for Holly
Jack voted for Yve
Cheryl voted for Alina
Selina voted for Kelly S.
Pat voted for Chase
Rick voted for Jimmy T.

Good luck everyone!

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Survivor Nicaragua - September 15/10

After carefully arranging my fitness classes to keep Thursday night free, it seems the Survivor gods have seen fit to foil my plans by moving Survivor to Wednesday. I thought I was the only one crazy enough to plan their life around Survivor, but it seems Donna selected an evening class on Wednesdays with the intent of keeping Thursday free for Survivor. Luckily Donna has a PVR and I have satellite tv with a 9:00 showing of Survivor from (of all places) Kenora, Ont. It will all work out.

Tonight's episode gets underway with two groups of Survivors hiking through the bush to a rendezvous with Dimples. He tells them that, hidden somewhere along a nearby lagoon, is a "medallion of power". The one who finds the medallion claims it for their entire tribe. Survivors scurry out to find the medal, but it is Brenda who finds it suspended in a tree. When everyone returns, Dimples reveals that the two groups who have hiked in together are not the actual tribes. He asks everyone over 40 to get in one group (Espada), and everyone under 30 to go to a second group (La Flor). Oh yes, and about that medallion of power. Since Brenda found it, and belongs to the La Flor tribe, they get to decide whether to keep the medallion with its as yet unidentified power,or trade it for fire and a trunk full of fishing gear. Being from a generation that is notoriously big on instant gratification, La Flor gives the medallion to Espada and takes the flint and fishing gear.

Back at Camp Espada, Jimmy Johnson muses about how he should handle his celebrity status. He knows some will be fans and some will not be impressed by his NFL coaching record. Holly runs up to Wendy tells her she likes her, trusts her and wants to be in an alliance with her, then runs away. Even Wendy is taken aback. Meanwhile Jane impresses the tribe by lighting a fire with her eyeglasses. By nightfall they are admiring a beautiful camp fire but the great Jimmy J. is loudly puking on a nearby grassy knoll. The next morning he gets up, sleepless, bug bitten and sick to tell us that he never imagined Survivor would be this tough.

At Camp La Flor Sash is admiring the beautiful women and the beach and the beautiful women. Jud, nicknamed Fabio by his tribe mates is dubbed a dumb blond by Shannon. Oh and lets talk about Shannon shall we? The man is obviously suffering some trauma from wearing a woman's name for his whole life. Or maybe he hates women because his mom was a woman and called him Shannon. In any case he says that the men can't let a woman win because they are already "owned in marriage' and next thing you know there is going to be a woman president. Kelly decides to get an awkward moment out of the way by revealing to her tribe that she has a prosthetic leg. True to form Shannon takes us aside and tells us that she has to be sent home early because if she shows up in front of the jury with that leg they will just hand her the money. Meanwhile Chase REALLY likes Brenda...so much so that he tells her about the all-guy alliance. Brenda just thinks Chase is clueless.

Speaking of clues, Alina and Kelly B. find a clue to a hidden immunity idol. They aren't able to unravel the clue so decide to keep it to themselves. This puts Alina in an unwanted alliance with Kelly B. (Alina also things Kelly will have to go home early).

Tree mail arrives announcing an immunity challenge. Before Espada leaves for the challenge, Coach Johnson gives his team a stirring locker room speech (except there is no locker room so I think he does it on that grassy knoll he puked on earlier).

At the Challenge, Dimples reveals the power of the Medallion of Power. It can be held and used for any challenge and will give the tribe who uses it an advantage in the challenge. If unused the tribe can keep it. If they use it, it passes to the other tribe to be used in a later challenge. Espada decides they don't need help for this challenge so they keep the medallion for a later date.

The challenge involves tribe members holding sections of a gutter in place while someone pours buckets of water down the trough and into a barrel. When the barrel is full it will release a bag of (wait for it....) puzzle pieces. The first tribe to release and assemble their puzzle wins immunity. It's a close one, but La Flor wins immunity

And so the strategizing begins among the Espadrilles. Jimmy T wants to get rid of Coach Jimmy. Coach Jimmy wants to get rid of himself or Wendy as the weakest players. Holly says what may become one of the great Survivor lines... "we have to keep the team strong. I wish I had thought of that before I made an alliance with Wendy". There is a group discussion and general agreement that it should be either Coach Jimmy or Wendy, but no one will outright say who they are voting for. But after Wendy babbles at Tribal Council about what a likeable person she is, she is the one having her torch snuffed. Wendy is represented in our pool by Jeff (no need to send the cash Jeff!)

Remember to get your votes in to me before the start of the second episode next Wednesday. Pick the person you think will win the million dollars and you might win a genuine Survivor Nicaragua buff.

Until next week,
Outwit, Outplay, Outlast

Pat (aka Jill calm and cool Behm)

Learn your Identity for Survivor Nicaragua

Lynn and I got together via telephone tonight and did the draw for Survivor names. The list is below. I encourage you to go to the CBS website at www.cbs.com and read the entire biography for your survivor. While you are at it you can also read the other biographies to see who you think will eventually win. As always, you have until after the first show (this Wednesday) to decide who you think will win and get your vote to me. Also don't forget to mail your $10.00 cheque to me.

And now, here is the list. The tribes are split this year between young and old. After each name you will see La Flor or Espada. These are the tribe names with La Flor (from the French for brains of a dandelion) being the young ones and Espada being the old ones (from the Spanish for dances with dinosaurs).


Georgia will be studying human nature with Alina Wilson, a 23 year old student from Downey California (La Flor)

Lorelee will be paired up with Ben "Benry" Henry, a 24 year old Los Angeles club promoter who Dimples describes as a charming snake (La Flor).

Rick will be catching a wave with Brenda Lowe, a 27 year old paddleboard company owner from Miami, Florida (La Flor).

Selina will be racing around with Chase Rice, a 24 pro race car jackman from Fairview, NC. (La Flor).

Pam will be selling swampland along with Dan Lembo, a 63 year old real estate executive from Watermill, NY (Espada).

Roberta will be sharing a lane with Holly Hoffman, a 44 year old swim coach from Eureka, S.D (Espada).

Jack will be at the heel of Jane Bright, a 56 year old dog trainer from Jackson Springs, NC (Espada).

Pat (that'd be me) will be stitching up the wounded with Jill Behm, a 43 year old ER Doctor from Erie, PA (Espada).

Kathy will be calling plays with Jimmy Johnson, a 67 year old former NFL coach from Islamorada, Fla (Espada). Jeff Probst was nearly peeing himself with excitement that Jimmy J. was on the show, but until he comes out of retirement to lead the Saskatchewan Roughriders to a Grey Cup victory, I refuse to be impressed.

Grace is paired up with the other Jimmy, Jimmy Tarantino a 48 year old commercial fisherman from Gloucester, Mass. who won a video contest to be on the show (Espada).

Lynn will be taking notes with Jud Birza, a 21year old student from Venice, Ca (La Flor).

Mitzie will be learning along with Kelly Bruno, a 26 year old med student from Durham, NC (La Flor).

Jan will be doing her rounds with Kelly Shinn, a 20 year old nursing student from Mesa, Ariz (La Flor).

Debbie will be calling the shots with Marty Piombo, a 48 year old technology executive from Mill Valley, Calif (Espada).

Marie will be sharing a locker room with NaOnka Mixon, a 27 year old PE Teacher from Los Angeles, Ca whose parents apparently made her name up. (La Flor).

Cheryl will be looking for a home with Matthew "Sash" Lenahan, a 30 year old Real Estate Broker from New York NY (La Flor).

Barb will undoubtedly be dealing with lots of cockroaches as she is paired with Shannon Elkins, a 30 male pest control company owner from Lafayette LA (La Flor).

Donna will be putting out fires with Tyrone Davis, a 42 year old fire captain from Inglewood, Ca (Espada).

Jeff will be tending the herd with Wendy DeSmidt-Kohlhoff, a 48 year old Goat Rancher from Fromberg, Mont. (editor's note- Jeff Probst describes Wendy as annoying - not good) (Espada).

Lisa will be keeping house with Yve Rojas, a 41 year old homemaker from Kansas City, MO (Espada)

There you have it. I will post this on the blog site in case yo need to refer back to it later. Enjoy the show on Wednesday and I look forward to receiving your votes for the winner of Survivor Nicaragua.