Thursday, April 22, 2010

Survivors Heroes and Villains - April 22/10

On day 25, the Survivors are getting restless for something to happen. "Give us a merge", pleads JT. Right on cue, the Heroes discover tree mail consisting of a box with a note on top. The note suggests that they leave the box locked until they find the key, and that they should make room in camp because company will be arriving soon.

Over at Camp Darkside, the Villains find a key with a map to the Heroes camp. Russell tells us that all the villains know about his immunity idol except for Sandra. He plans to use it to weed out one of the Heroes when the time is right. Meanwhile Parvati still has not told Russell that she also has an idol.

As the Villains walk toward the Heroes camp there is immediate consternation because they see Parvati but not Russell. If you recall, JT sent his immunity idol over to the Villain camp so that Russell could save himself and get rid of Parvati. Eventually, of course, Russell comes over the horizon and JT and company draw a sigh of relief. But why is Parvati still there? According to JT the only possible explanation is that she had an immunity idol and played it. After the mystery crate is opened and the traditional merge feast has been consumed, JT and Rupert ask Russell when Parvati played the idol. Without missing a beat, he tells them that he and Parvati stood up and played their idols at the same time. JT and Rupert smile and nod and JT mouths to Rupert that Russell is solid - a good 'ole country boy - that he trusts explicitly. As usual though, the weakest part of any plan is the one on the outside. Sandra gets a moment alone with Rupert and tells him that Russell, far from being a victim, is running the Villain's game, and that Parvati is his wing-person. Sandra tells Rupert that Parvati never played an idol at Tribal Council. Rupert now sees the light and believes that Russell is playing the Heroes, but when he tries to tell JT, JT refuses to believe it. JT's reality, however twisted, is the only thing that makes sense to him.

On Day 27, former tribe mates Amanda and Parvati get some alone time. Amanda tells Parvati that the Heroes want to get rid of her, but that she is trying to convince them that Sandra is a better bet. During this interchange Parvati tells Amanda that she has an idol. Amanda tells Parvati that she had better play the idol or she will be gone. Privately, though, Parvati tells us that she knows Amanda is lying and that she won't be getting the votes tonight. I'm thinking that Parvati is waaaay smarter than I ever gave her credit for.

For the first of the individual immunity challenges, Survivors are to hang onto a notched pole for as long as they can. Colby and Sandra agree to drop together within the first minute. One by one the others drop out until only Parvati and Danielle are left. Parvati, knowing she has the idol, drops to the ground, giving Danielle immunity. After the challenge JT begins to get suspicious. Why would Parvati drop to the ground and give up immunity when she looked pretty comfortable on the pole and is supposedly a marked woman? He now buys into the plan that they should tell Russell they are voting for Parvati, but then actually vote for Sandra. If your head is hurting right now its ok. So was Amanda's and so was mine. But Russell is apparently convinced because he digs out his idol and gives it to Parvati to save herself, still unaware that she already has an idol of her own. At tribal Council, when Dimples asks if anyone wants to play the idol, Parvati does a shocking thing. She stands up and gives her idol to Sandra. Then she turns and gives the second idol to Jerri. So when the votes are counted, and all those for Jerri and Sandra are eliminated, it is JT who is going home. Oh JT! You were such a rube! As JT shuffles away, taking our own Mitzi with him, we hear Russell mutter to Parvati that she has some explaining to do. Oh, this is sooooo gonna get juicy. Mitzi also voted for JT to win the million so she is doubly sad this evening.

Stay tuned to see who is really running the ship. We may now truly have an all girl alliance as both Sandra and Jerri owe Parvati big time. Until next week,

Return, Revenge, Redemption
Pat (aka Courtney did you see what I was wearing tonight Yates)

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Survivor Heroes and Villains April 15/10

We join our little band of Villains on Night 21. They are returning from Tribal Council having sent Coach to Nirvana or Valhalla or wherever the hell people like Coach go (actually he just went to the jury but where's the fun in that?). Jerri is stunned, having had no idea her ally and main squeeze (eww)was on his way out. Now, she tells us, she will stay true to her alliance with Russell and Parvati and hope they take care of her. Meanwhile the EGG man is telling us that Courtney and Sandra can't be trusted and that one of them must be the next villainous branches to be pruned.

Day 22 brings tree mail promising a reward challenge requiring endurance and a tolerance for pain. A brief description of the challenge reveal that is one played on Survivor Trocantins. Survivors perch barefooted on narrow footholds embedded in opposite walls of a small enclosure. They are each paired with someone from the other tribe. To determine the pairings,the tribes are asked to rank their members from weakest to strongest. Taking weight and foot size into account the villains rank their small women as the strongest and have Russell sit out. The Heroes (at Rupert's request) rank Rupert as the strongest (just to refresh your memory...huge feet and an injured toe). The competitors move down to a smaller foothold every 10 minutes. Each time a competitor quits, the other tribe gets a point. The Villains win this one in three straight. So cocky is Sandra that she stays up for an extra minute, after Colby, her opposition, gives up.

So off the Villains go to enjoy a steak dinner courtesy of Outback Steakhouse. As Parvati sits down to enjoy her dinner she shakes out her napkin and out falls a rolled-up piece of paper. She quickly stuffs it in her underwear and later shares it with Danielle (ewww)reasoning that this will cement Danielle's loyalty to her. It is, of course, a clue to another hidden immunity idol. The next morning the two tippy-toe out of bed and go looking for the idol. Personally I think the shovel was a dead give-away but they took it with them anyway. What they don't know is that Russell is sitting on the beach when they go hunting. He follows them, but when they find the idol he is nowhere to be seen. Good thing too, because Parvati has decided she isn't going to tell the EGG Man about the idol She wants him to squirm for a while.

It seems that Russell doesn't need to worry about idols, however, because the people over on the neighbouring island want to give him one. Certain that Russell is the victim of an all girl Villain conspiracy, JT has hatched a plot to save him. He will find a way to give Russell his immunity idol when the tribes come together at the next challenge. He will include a note, telling Russell to use the idol to save himself and get rid of Pavarti. The Heroes all agree that this is a great plan that will break up the imaginary all-girl alliance and secure Russell as an ally when the tribes merge(noooooo JT, nooooooo)**. JT sweats over getting just the right wording in his letter, which he then uses to gift wrap the idol. Of all the Heroes, the only ones who seem to have misgivings about giving an immunity idol to someone on the other tribe are Candace and Amanda. But Candace never wanted JT to have the idol so sees it as a conveniently stupid way of getting the idol away from JT.

Dimples calls the tribes together for the immunity challenge. In this one, members of each tribe must maneuver a bag of puzzle pieces along a rope, over and under obstacles. At one point Colby finds himself alone with Russell and whispers that he should go to JT and get the idol. The Heroes go on to win immunity and all are sure that without their help Russell will be gone by morning. As the two tribes gather to congratulate each other (how come I don't remember this kind of fraternization in other challenges?) Russell gives JT and hug and JT slips him the idol.

As if Russell needed more to gloat about, now he tells us that he doesn't even have to look for idols any more...now people are just giving them to him. Meanwhile, JT tells us that they are making Survivor history (Yes, JT, you are. But for all the wrong reasons) and Rupert tells us how Russell is probably beaming (Yes, Rupert he is. But for all the wrong reasons).

Over at the Villain's camp Parvati and Russell are laughing at the meticulously composed letter that JT has sent with the idol. Courtney and Sandra know that one of them is going home, but which is it? Russell thinks it should be Courtney but Courtney goes to Parvati and promises an alliance with Amanda after the merge. Parvati knows a deal when she hears it and tries to convince Russell et al to vote out Sandra instead. But when Dimples tallies the votes at Tribal Council *** that night, it is indeed Courtney who is tottering away on her skeletal legs. With Courtney, traveling on much more substantial legs, is me.

Kathy voted for Courtney to win the million. Sorry about that Kathy!

There are 10 left. Is a merge imminent? Is Russell running the Villain show or is it really Pavarti? When will JT realize he is Survivor's biggest goof of all time? Stay tuned next week for the answers to these questions, and more.

Return, Revenge, Redemption
Pat (aka Courtney Yates

** remember how I used to say that JT was MY GUY? Well now he's Mitzi's.
***puleeez, Coach is sitting at Tribal council in the lotus position wearing some kind of dashiki thing.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Survivor Heroes and Villains April 8/10

It is night 15 in the nameless south pacific location that serves as a setting for this edition of Survivor. Boston Rob is gone and Coach tells us that the waters are suddenly very muddy. Courtney and Sandra voted for Rob, making them public enemy numbers one and two. Parvati purrs to Russell that she knew she picked the right guy. There are several minutes of Russell bluster...I'm great, I control this game...blah blah blah. Coach is whining that Russell is a bully and now he finds himself in an alliance with Russell because of Jerri, because of course, the Dragonslayer couldn't do anything without his damsel.

On day 16 JT decides to go for a walk to look for the immunity idol hidden on the Hero's beach. Yes, the tribe has already decided that they would look for it together, but JT reasons that he doesn't know what the others are up to. After all, there might be another independent agent out there looking for it too. So JT goes digging in the mud among some tree roots and pulls out the idol. He is just going to make good his escape when Amanda (wondering where everyone has gone) comes wandering down the path. A visibly flustered JT decides to come clean and show Amanda the idol. When Candace also show s up he decides he might as well tell the whole tribe he has the idol, hoping his revelation will keep them from booting his cute little ass off the island. Privately though, Amanda and Candace tell us that JT is the slimiest one out there (NO I LOVE JT). They wonder if JT should be the next to go (NOOOOOOOOOOOO).

Eighteen days have passed. The villains are starving, but perk up when tree mail arrives promising food. Based on the contents of the tree mail note, the Villains suspect a merge. In case they get sent elsewhere, they pack up their entire camp and take it with them to the reward challenge. As they walk in with all their worldly possessions, Dimples announces that Boston Rob was sent home at Tribal Council. Someone from the Hero tribe (sorry I missed who it was because I was busy picking a *&^$# tick off me!) says that Rob was clearly the victim of an all girl alliance. JT mouths to Russell that he should "hang in there" and Russell snickers, knowing that the all girl alliance is really Russell in grannie panties. Meanwhile, the heroes are wondering why the hell the Villains have brought their entire camp with them to a reward challenge. "Did we miss something in the tree mail?" queries Colby. No, Colby. You didn't miss anything. There is no merge, just a bunch of villains with virtual egg on their faces.

The reward challenge involves a game of Survivor bowling. One member of each tribe takes turns rolling two balls each. Whichever knocks down the most pins in total wins a point for their tribe. The first tribe to get three points wins reward - a beer and pizza feast for the whole tribe. Its a squeaker, but Amanda knocks down the final two pins necessary to win it for the Heroes. As the tribe settles into their beer and pizza, JT goes on about the "all-girl" alliance that is responsible for Boston Rob going home. It is obvious to JT that Russell and Coach will be eager to align with the Heroes in a merge, given their "precarious" position at the hands of those wily Villain woman. (NOOOOOOOO JT, NOOOOOOOO).

At Camp Evil, Jerri is blaming Coach for sitting out Courtney and Sandra in the Reward Challenge, meaning that they will now have to compete in the Immunity Challenge. Courtney takes this as a personal insult and feels like she is being blamed for losing a challenge she didn't even compete in. Sandra tells us she hates her whole tribe. Coach tells us he also hates his whole tribe. Are you feeling the love here? Sandra decides that she wants to get even with Coach so she tells Russell that Coach wants to get rid of him. Russell falls for her story hook line and sinker (or in Sandra's words "he ate that crap up. Russel don't know how to play this game"). Meanwhile Russell and Parvati are thinking that getting rid of Coach will also further convince the Heroes that the Villain tribe is under the control of an all-girl alliance.

For the Immunity Challenge, Dimples has the tribes belted together in pairs. They are to move under and over a muddy obstacle course as a team to retrieve a flag. The first tribe to retrieve two flags wins immunity. The first pair of Villains is Russell and Sandra. Sandra slows them down and Russell is visably PO'd. The Heroes eventually win with Colby and JT beating out Pavarti and Courtney.

Back at camp the Villains wash the mud off in the ocean. Coach tells us it is like being at a spa. He tells us the Dragonslayer feels energized and is "coming into his own" (huh?). Coach really wants to get rid of Russell but admits that Courtney is the weakest link and should go next. Russell, of course, still thinks Coach should go since he believes Coach is conspiring against him. Danielle tells Russell that getting rid of Coach is stupid when they still have to win challenges. In the end it looks like Russell has had a change of heart about Coach, but when Dimples tallies the vote at Tribal Council, it is Coach who is moving over to become the first member of the jury. With the mighty Dragonslayer goes our own Kathy. Sorry Kathy! No one voted for Coach to be the ultimate winner so we have no changes there.

Until next week (when we learn that someone, possible my JT, makes a goof of monumental proportions)....

Outwit, Outplay, Outlast
Pat (aka Courtney that shoulda been me Yates)

Back at camp

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Survivor Heroes and Villains-April 1/10

It's day 16 in the land of Villains. The tribe is back at camp having blindsided Tyson. Rob is shocked. He tells us that, for the first time in his three-season Survivor career, he doesn't know what is going on. As Russell, Pavarti and Danielle giggle outside the tent, Rob wonders how they can be so cocky. Do they know something that Rob doesn't? Do they not understand that Rob has the numbers in his favour? Does Rob have a mole in his alliance who is secretly siding with Russell-EGG?

While Rob tries to figure out what it is he doesn't know, Russell is working Jerri to get her and Coach onside. While Rob seems to have Courtney and Sandra sewn up, and Russell is tight with Danielle and Pavarti, Coach and Jerri have not firmly committed to one side or the other. Trust me, says Russell-EGG, and I will take you two with me to the final three. Jerri listens to what Russell has to say and calls Coach over to tell him that she is now or Russell's team and she hopes he will be too. Coach agrees but later tells Jerri that he is hurt that she didn't consult him first. He has an allegiance to Rob that dates back to his boot-licking first few days on the island. Privately, Jerri tells us that she likes Coach but he is naive and doesn't "get it", believing that he can be the good guy to everyone and still win the game.

Its been a while since we checked in with the Heroes. They are busy mourning the loss of James and Colby is amazed that he is still in the game. He now feels more pressure to perform than Tiger Woods. He gets his chance quickly when the tribes are summoned to a reward challenge. This challenge is a little game of three on three full-contact water basketball. Colby gets two of the necessary three baskets to secure a long-overdue win for the Heroes. While the good guys enjoy a beautiful picnic by a waterfall, they discover tree-mail hiding inside a vegetable wrap. The note tells them that another immunity idol is hidden on their beach. They quickly put the note aside, planning to enjoy the moment and worry about the clue later. However no one can focus on the picnic with that note eyeballing them from the sidelines. Finally Amanda takes the note and reads the clue out loud. The Heroes agree that,when they return to camp, they will look for the idol as a group.

The tribes are back to vying for Tribal Immunity at the next challenge. Relay-style, three members from each tribe must cross a net and climb a rope wall to retrieve bags of puzzle pieces. Once all five bags have been retrieved, two other tribe members must put the puzzle together. Rupert, Colby and Candace collect their puzzle pieces first, but we have seen many a Hero lead slip away when it comes to putting a puzzle together. But this time is different. JT (I love JT) and Amanda out-assemble Rob and Sandra and get their puzzle done first. Rupert is pumped about the second consecutive win for the Heroes. Meanwhile the Villains haven't even left the challenge area before Courtney is mentioned as someone who might be eligible for a free trip home.

But of course, nothing is ever that simple. While they are sitting around in a group, Rob asks Russell who he thinks should go home. Russell points to Sandra and Courtney and says "One of those two". Rob is in disbelief at Russell's lack of tact but Russell is unrepentant. Rob goes to Coach and tells him that they should send Russell home. Coach, still caught between his alliance with Rob and the alliance with Russell that Jerri formed on his behalf, insists that Courtney is a better choice. Meanwhile Russell begins to think that Courtney is small fry and that Rob should be the one to go. Coach looks agonized when he finds out that the two alpha-males, both of whom he has an alliance with, are on the chopping block. However, Coach keeps his honour intact by voting for Courtney. This splits the vote and an unexplained vote for Rob from his buddy Sandra is enough to send Rob packing. Heading off with Rob (and surprised, I'm sure) is our own Barb. Three people voted for Rob to be the final winner, so Debbie, Georgia and Cheryl won't be collecting their special Survivor buff this time around.

The tribes are now at 5 (Heroes) and 7 (Villains). Will Russell, described by Courtney as a bandy legged troll, continue to manipulate the tribe at will? Or will he also have the tables turned on him? We'll find out next week. Until then,

Outwit, Outplay Outlast
Pat (aka Courtney I can't jump into that net because my legs will snap like toothpicks Yates)