Thursday, October 29, 2009

Survivor Samoa - October 29/09

It's night 15 and both tribes have arrived back at camp thanking their lucky stars that, what was supposed to be a double elimination Tribal Council, eliminated no one. Galu is wondering what to do now that Russell the Good has been evacuated for medical reasons. The men of the tribe, led by Erik (my guy) decide to ensure that Shambo is elected as the new chief. Their rationale is that she will be flattered and so will be deep in Erik's pocket. Erik suggests a quick vote where everyone gets a number then they hold up dirty fingers to indicate who they think should be chief. With the combined votes of the men, Shambo is elected chief while the women sit in stunned disbelief. Laura wonders if a vote at Tribal Council didn't happen after all. Now, its important to understand that the men haven't selected Shambo because they think she will make a great leader. In fact they opt to keep her completely in the dark about their plans since, as Dave tells us "Shambo is so dim she could screw up out plans if we tell her anything".

The reward challenge, for an all expenses paid trip on a sailboat complete with lunch, involves a match game. There are 13 covered tables on a field. Under each cover is a survival item. Most have a match elsewhere on the field, although four are rogues with no match. Members from each tribe alternately go out and uncover two items. When a match is made the tribe can either return the items and score a point, or keep the items. Galu makes the first match which is a fire making kit. The kit comes wrapped in a tarp which holds more appeal for them than the kit itself. Galu goes on the win the challenge and the sailboat ride. Shambo, in her new role as chief, has to select someone to go over to Foa Foa. Needless to say, Laura isn't happy. Perhaps Shambo's choice had something to do with the furious looks Laura was handing out when Shambo was "elected" chief?

So while Galu paddles out to spend the day eating stew and fresh bread on a pirate ship, Laura is being warmly greeted by the Foa Foamers. EGG starts cultivating Laura, thinking that he must now pin everything on the merge and on making allies in Galu. So the two chat about their similar religious background. Privately, in his most godly manner EGG tells us he is working more of his Houdini magic, and working Laura like a fine too. Laura and Natalie get into a discussion about Harleys and book club selections while Liz struggles to make a fire. Liz is angry, thinking a little help would be nice. But EGG tells us liz is so stupid he is not sure how she can walk. Surely she should understand that her needs are secondary to EGG's need to befriend everyone on Galu.

Dimples arrives at the Immunity challenge in a beautiful robin's egg blue shirt. He instructs the tribes to paddle out into the ocean where they will find 6 strings of fish-shaped puzzle pieces. Its a close race but Foa Foa seems to have a slight lead getting the puzzle together. However Jaison gives up on the puzzle and stands back to let the others do it. Galu wins the challenge and sends Foa Foa back to camp with their tails between their legs yet again. EGG wonders now if Jaison should go instead of Liz. Liz is a better competitor, but Jaison is more trustworthy. Even Jaison admits that he was dead weight to the tribe during the challenge. At Tribal Council Dimples makes them all feel a lot better when he tells them that they have lost eight our of ten challenges and have put in the worst performance of any tribe in the history of Survivor. And so, with their egos fully charged, Foa Foa votes and it is Liz who heads home. Trailing along behind Liz is our own Selina. Sorry to see you go Selina! No one voted for Liz to win.

That's it for this week. See you next time. Until then...

Outwit, Outplay, Outlast
Pat (aka Erik I'm using Shambo like a fine tool Cardona)

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Survivor Samoa - October 22/09

Welcome to day 15 of Survivor Samoa. It has now been raining for 5 days on the remaining 14 Survivors. They are cold. Even as I write this I have to go and get my fleece jacket. THAT's how cold it is. Mick has stuffed himself into the depression of a tree trunk to stay warm and tells us that he is a little bit jealous of Ashley, who presumably is warm, dry and eating bon bons by now. Meanwhile, Jaison is laughing hysterically while trembling from the cold. All in all, it looks like Foa Foa may be losing their grip on reality. Except, of course, for the EGG-man who is having the time of his life. It's just water he tells us. EGG feels his tribe- mates are just lazy babies.

Things aren't exactly rosy over at Camp Galu either. In fact, disparaging glances are being sent Russell's way for choosing blankets instead of the tarp in a recent reward challenge.Erik crawls out of his hole in a tree trunk after 26 hours of confinement. As he does so the rain stops and there is a rainbow. They all stand and gaze at the rainbow and the blue sky with an intensity usually observed in men looking at women with implants.

The prize in the reward challenge is a pizza which the winning tribe gets to eat in front of the losing tribe at Tribal Council. However both tribes are told that they will be voting someone off. For the reward challenge, one member of each tribe is put into a huge wicker ball. From there they must guide their blindfolded tribe mates in rolling the ball along a path. At the end of the path is a platform with a table maze. They must roll the ball up onto the platform. From there the tribe member inside the ball verbally directs her tribe mates to get a small ball through a table maze. Things are going well for Foa Foa who have taken an a-mazing (hehehe) lead. Suddenly, Russell the Good begins to stagger. Then he rests his head on the corner of the maze table. Finally he collapses, held up only by his t-shirt which gets caught on the corner of the table. Once Dimples realizes that something is really wrong he calls a halt to the challenge and calls in the Aussie medics. As it turns out Russell's blood pressure is low and his heart rate is up and down like a toilet seat. Dimples makes the call and pulls him from the game. A devastated Russell breaks down and cries (possibly because Dimples spends ten minutes telling him how he had it all and how unfortunate this is). The other Survivors are all sent away without pizza.

At Galu the rain has started again. They are now leaderless. Worst of all they have to go back to Tribal Council to vote off another member. The women of Galu think Shambo should go but the men are more appreciative of Shambo's contribution and think Monica should be the one packing her bags. At Foa Foa the decision is between Natalie and Elizabeth with EGG-man pushing for Elizabeth.

At Tribal Council emotions are high. Erik tears up when asked about the rain and the harsh conditions, and when Foa Foa talks about making a come-back Erik tells them that Galu will be putting Russell's sweat into every challenge (ewwwww). After asking the usual in-depth questions and making my poor Erik cry, Dimples tells them that no one will be going home this night. Due to the unprecedented events (the first time ever a challenge has not been completed) Dimples tells them that everyone can stay for a while longer. And so, dear pool members, we are safe for another week. Until next time...

Outwit, Outplay, Outlast

Pat (aka Erik I just get so emotional when I pray inside a tree Cardona)

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Survivor Samoa - October 15/09

This is going to be short and snappy as I have been up since 5:00 and its now 1:00 a.m.I spent the morning and early afternoon with a wonderful group of women from across Canada at a workshop in Ottawa, and the rest of the day has been spent sitting in airports, riding in planes or driving to get home. But enough wining...

Its night 11. Galu has returned from Tribal Council minus the company of Yasmin. Shambo has realized that she is out of synch with the rest of her tribe and Monica has realized that Shambo voted for her, making her go hmmmmm.

The next morning tree mail arrives announcing an icky food challenge. Survivors spin a wheel to determine the ingredients of the "smoothie" they will drink. The ingredients include such things as giant clam, octopus, jelly fish, sea cucumbers, sea urchins and sea slug guts. Two by two Survivors from opposing tribes come up, learn the components of their blender drink and gulp it down. Amazingly everyone gets their smoothy down until the very last pair, when Ashley from Foa Foa falters, giving Galu the win. The reward is a great heap of meat including steaks, hamburgers and sausages. But before Galu can chow down they have to select someone to go home with Foa Foa. Russell picks Shambo to go again and she is not at all happy about having to miss the barbeque.

As Foa Foa returns to camp, Shambo openly slags her tribe and asks for a group hug from Foa Foa. Meanwhile Ashley is feeling badly about losing the challenge for her tribe. Natalie comforts her but viewers can see a bullseye growing on Ashley's back. Shambo decides to share all three of her clues with her new Foa Foa friends. The clues make it quite clear that the idol should be in the hollow tree by the fire, but it is not there. There is talk that Ben may have had the idol when he was sent home, and never played it. But Liz suspects that Russell (EGG) has it and tells him so. Naturally EGG isn't please about being found untrustworthy (even though he is untrustworthy, and creepy too).

At Galu, Russell is trying to light the fire while explaining to his tribe why it was necessary to send Shambo over to Foa Foa. She lost the chicken and she needs to experience the consequences.Meanwhile Dave is getting frustrated by Russell's inability to light a fire. Russell tells Dave that he is all talk and no action. Eventually (after being formally asked), Dave steps forward to get the fire going so they can cook their meat. Privately Dave tells us that being the only one who can make a fire makes him invaluable but he is smart enough to keep quiet about it.

On night 13 the rain begins to fall, and fall, and fall. Both tribes are cold and wet but Galu is particularly miserable. Kelly regrets taking the blankets instead of the tarp at an earlier immunity challenge.

Immunity challenge involves having a man and a woman from each tribe hang onto a rope. The rope is attached to a basket. Opposing tribe members throw coconuts into those baskets making them progressively heavier. The last person to let go of their rope will win immunity for their tribe. EGG goes out first leaving tiny Liz to hang on for Foa Foa. She fights well but finally gives way, giving the victory, once again, to Galu. Poor Foa Foa can't even strategize. The incessant rain keeps them huddled together and no one can have a private discussion. But, after the Foa Foavians have warmed themselves at the Tribal Council fires, and Dimples has counted the votes, it is Ashley who is heading home. With Ashley goes Jack, one of our right honourable (honorable) members from New Hampshire.

So Foa Foa continues to struggle. Will they recover? Or will they simply ooze away into the Samoan mud. Stay tuned! Until next week...

Outwit, Outplay, Outlast

Pat (aka Erik the ocean is angry and fickle Cardona)

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Survivor Samoa - October 8/09

It's night 8 on the balmy beaches of Samoa. Foa Foa has just returned from Tribal Council where Ben and his white hood have been sent home. Russell (EGG) tells us that Ben did himself in at Tribal Council and he (EGG) was forced to let him go. That isn't exactly how I remember it but as we all know EGG is calling all the shots so it must be true (insert note of sarcasm here). For his part, Jaison tells us that coming on Survivor was the worst decision of his life. EGG says that Jaison is ready to go home and wonders "what kind of man is that?" EGG thinks that maybe Jaison should be voted off next. "After all", he tells us, "whoever I want to be gone is gone. They're all under my thumb right now".

The next morning we look in at camp Galu where Shambo has returned after her visit with Foa Foa. She finds her tribe somewhat lacking. At Foa Foa she was a somebody. She connected. At Galu everyone is lazy. Lazy but not stupid. Erik and John pump Shambo for the clues to the whereabouts of the hidden immunity idol. They reason that the same clues that lead to the idol hidden at Foa Foa may lead them to the idol in their own camp. Shambo takes about oh...a nanosecond...to give them the clues, thinking that it will guarantee their protection later on. They even promise to give her the idol if they find it. Oh Shambo! What have you done? I share a body with Erik and I can tell you he has no intention of giving you that idol!

Tree mail arrives with a map and instructions. The chief of each tribe is to select two members of their tribe to participate in a challenge that appears to involve food as a reward. Not knowing what to expect, both tribe leaders select one person who is smart and/or good at puzzles (Natalie and Shambo) and one person who is more physical (Dave and EGG). They head off to the specified location where they stand around wondering "where is Dimples and what colour shirt will he wear today?" But no Dimples arrives. Instead they are left to stare at a crate containing three live chickens with a sign saying "reward". On the other side of the clearing is a large treasure chest. After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence waiting for Dimples, the Survivors begin to discuss what they should do. Should they just take the chickens? Should they look in the chest? Finally when EGG makes a move to the chest they all fly into action. It turns out the chest contains a number of coloured balls,a flag and instructions. The crate contains...well...chickens. They are to put the flag in the ground and throw the balls at it alla bocce ball/horseshoes/curling. The closest ball to the flag at the end wins the chickens. Foa Foa has this on in the bag. Every ball they throw gets them closer to the flag. It comes down to a final throw by Danger Dave for Galu. Dave pulls off a perfect shot, rolling his ball right to the flag. Once more Foa Foa tastes the sting of defeat as they shuffle back to camp to think about who to blame for the loss.

Back at Galu, Erik is hard at work. He is happy to have some alone time to look for the hidden idol. Yasmin leaves camp and John is sleeping, so Erik starts looking. He eventually finds the idol hidden in a tree beside the fire. What he doesn't know is that John wakes up and sees him searching for the idol. "Wait a minute", thinks a sleepy John, "wasn't I supposed to be in on that action?". Shortly after Erik gets the idol tucked away behind a rock for safe keeping, the challenge winners arrive back at camp with the chickens. Russell assigns Shambo to look after them so she proceeds to talk to them - in chicken. Dave is ecstatic that he won the challenge for the tribe but is careful not to be too cocky. The next morning Shambo is busy talking to the chicken, apparently praising it for laying an egg (not THAT EGG...he isn't getting laid until he gets home and can find someone stupid enough...did I type that out loud?).Anyway, the chicken is running around in the jungle, Erik and Shambo are chasing it, and no one else in the tribe seems to care very much one way or the other. In a comedic highlight Erik is running through the jungle after the chicken when he gets clotheslined by the clothesline. This would have been much funnier if Erik wasn't MY guy. Meanwhile, amid the chicken rodeo, there is talk that Yasmin does not contribute at camp and should be sent home if Galu should ever lose an immunity challenge.

Right on cue, Dimples, refreshed after having the last challenge off, arrives with an immunity challenge. Each tribe must run across a net to retrieve a set of blocks. Once they have these on their mat the must stack the blocks. Once the stack is complete they have to make their way over a rope bridge to get a second set of blocks and stack those. The stacks are tall so the tribe has to put someone on their shoulders to reach the top of the stack. It's close, but Foa Foa wins their first immunity challenge.

Galu has all kinds of potential evictees. Shambo lost the chicken. Yasmin is lazy. Monica did poorly in the challenge. It comes down to a choice between Yasmin and Monica. Russell thinks it should be Monica because he is all about strength in the challenges. But the tribe votes against him and it is Yasmin who is pitter pattering away from Tribal Council is her high heels.With Yasmin goes Barb who, coincidentally, also has a fine shoe collection.

And so, goodnight from beautiful Pasqua Lake, where the snow continues to fall. It would be pretty in December. In October it's just wrong. Until next week...

Outwit, Outplay, Outlast
Pat (aka Erik wahoo I got me an idol Cardona)

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Survivor Samoa - Oct. 1/09

I'm back. Thank you Donna for so capably filling in last week while I wined and dined with my dragon boat team mates.

Its day 7 and Jaison is making the case that Ben should be the next to go, calling him a mental plague. Russell (Evil Garden Gnome who from now on shall be called EGG)complains that nobody is playing the game except for him. He thinks they might well be the worst group in history and are walking around like zombies. He, on the other hand, is unquestionably the best (the best EGG, one wonders?). While EGG's ego is full to overflowing, Ben is having his own little self love-in. After watching Mick unsuccessfully try to make a fire he tells us that "these people would die" without him. He then tell the women that they shouldn't even try making fire because they won't be able to do it and will just ruin the flint. He finishes by telling them that he had the biggest poop of his life and wonders how the other are doing, poop-wise.

Things are much more sophisticated at Galu, where Laura is leading them in a yoga class. A huffy Shambo isn't participating with her "90210 clique" tribe-mates. She says they have no food, no water and no firewood and says they can "screw yoga".

Back at Foa Foa (because really Galu just seems pretty boring and gets very little air time during this episode)EGG tells Ben that Ashley was leader of a plot to have Ben ousted at the last Tribal Council.Privately EGG tells us that he has planted a "Russell seed" which will grow in Ben's brain. EGG feels he needs Ben for challenges and that Ashley is more expendable.

Tree mail arrives including a bag 'o bathing suits. One can almost see a production meeting where the crew discuss the problem of survivors wearing shirts and pants. The guy who suggested giving each tribe a bag of skimpy bikini's guaranteed to reveal boobs during the physical challenges probably got a raise. In any case the tribes traipse off to reward/immunity challenge wearing their new bikinis (well not the men. The men presumably got bathing suits too, but they didn't get much camera time).

For the challenge two tribe mates must swim out and retrieve a crate. The catch is that they have to go through a battle zone, defended by two members of the opposing tribe. Once 4 crates have been retrieved the must be untied and stacked so that there are no colour repetitions on any one side. Galu has an early lead and hangs on to win. Russell (not the evil EGG, but the other one) has to make a choice of reward. He can take comfort (blankets and pillows) or function (a tarp and pots). He chooses comfort against his own good judgement, saying it is necessary to keep the women happy. The decision is much less popular among the Galu men, however. Russell also has to select a Galuvian to go back to camp with the Foa Foa tribe. He selects Shambo, who receives a clue to the location of the immunity idol hidden in Camp Foa Foa.

Back at the Foa Foa camp, Shambo is a hit. The Foa Foalites feel she has good energy and want to adopt her. For her part, Shambo feels she has more in common with Galu than with her own tribe. And building relationships with them now can't hurt later when the tribes merge. In between teaching the Foa Foans tricks with palm fronds, Shambo has to find time to look for the immunity idol. The clue indicates it is near the fire and on the ground. EGG is chuckling because he already has the idol, but Shambo doesn't know that.She needs to find time to hunt for the idol. In a classic scene, Shambo is laying on the ground with the entire upper half of her body inside the trunk of a tree, while three of the Foa Foa women stand nearby. They apparently think that the Galu tribe lays on the ground with their heads inside trees all the time, because they don't even comment on Shambo's odd behaviour.

Jaison is desperate to be rid of Ben and tells Ashley that if Ben doesn't go he will. He tells us he really has not intention of leaving, but hopes he will sway the tribe into voting for Ben instead of Ashley. This conflicts with EGG's plan to get rid of Ashley. EGG tries to convince Mick to vote for Ashley and, to gain his confidence, he shows Mick the immunity idol. Mick is torn between conflicting loyalties to EGG and to Jaison. Jaison then makes his pitch to EGG suggesting that Ben is not a big asset in challenges and is a definite downer around camp. EGG seems to realize he can't push the Ashley thing any more without causing mistrust.

At Tribal Council Jaison tells Dimples that he wishes they could trade Shambo for Ben. This sets off an argument between Ben and Jaison that has some members of the tribe cringing and some smirking.When the votes are counted Ben is gone and Ashley is safe. For the first time EGG's zombie diciples did something other than his bidding. Instead it was Jaison they listened too. Oooooh, I think EGG will have to get rid of Jaison real quick.

With the uncouth Ben goes our own very couth Pam. Sorry to see you go so soon Pam. No one voted for Ben to win.

Until next week,
Outwit, Outplay, Outlast

Pat (aka Erik why the heck did Russell tell me to sit out that rough and tumble immunity challenge Cardona)