Survivor Tocantins - February 26/09

Pat is off absorbing some culture tonight so the uncultured pinch hitter is taking over.

When Timbera returns to camp after Tribal Council, Erinn tries to wash the taint of Candance off of her. She tells the tribe that the only reason she was being friendly to Candance is that she was suspicious and wanted to know what she was up to. Erinn talks and talks and talks, digging her grave deeper with each sentence. Apparently, she has never heard the expression "silence is golden" (and doesn't draw attention to you).

The next morning we find out that Jerry is suffering from bean fever. Unfortunately, beans are the only thing on the menu so he chooses to go hungry while Beans, Beans, the Musical Fruit plays softly in the background.

At Jalapao, the tribe members try out their new fishing net. Minnows are the biggest catch so they switch to the fishing rod and use the minnows for bait. Pretty soon they're feasting on a variety of grilled fish. All is good at Jalapao.

At the Reward Challenge six members from each tribe were blindfolded in pairs. The 7th team member must guide the blindfolded pairs to find a bucket, then first use the bucket to fill a container with water which will raise a flag and then fill another container with corn. The first team to raise both flags wins a tarp, blankets, pillows, an umbrella, chairs - everything you need for your beach vacation. Joe is the caller for Jalapao, Debra for Timbera. Jalapao takes an early lead and never looks back. Not sure where Timbera went wrong, but at one point all the blindfolded pairs were joined together in a Survivor conga line - perhaps it was a tribute to Brazilian dancing. When Jalapao won, Coach let out a primal yell (his description). He was very frustrated with his team's performance. This is exceptionally puzzling to me because I didn't see Coach do anything to contribute to a win. In addition to the win, Jalapao gets to send someone to Exile Island. Taj shouts out Brendan's name. Not sure if there was any consultation with her tribemates, but lo and behold Brendan picked Taj to join him. They have a secret alliance (in case you hadn't guessed by that big shout out).

Back at Timbera, Coach figures he and his Assistant Coach (Tyson) will have to get the tribe going. Tyson secretly tells the camera that Coach is a typical coach - not that good at what he is coaching (or in this case thinks he's coaching) but excellent at talking about how good he is.

Over on Exile Island, Taj finds another clue which she shares with Brendan. They discuss what they will do if they're not picked to go to Exile next time. Taj tells Brendan to have Timbera pick Stephen, she'll pull him into their alliance. Brendan says choose Sierra, she'll be onboard with him. Another clue will not be needed though as Brendan finds the idol hidden in the skirts of the Tree Mail guy, gal?? He then buries it under a rock in the forest. This would be a fatal move for me because I would never find it again. Only time will tell if Brendan is smarter.

At the Immunity Challenge, tribemates are again paired up to take turns at pushing big crates to the finish line. Each crate has a few letters on it. When all the crates are at the other side, they must build stairs that spell out their tribe name. The first tribe that has all members of their team at the top of their stairs wins immunity. Timbera breaks out into an early lead. They have all their crates at the finish line well before Jalapao. Erinn has a plan. She knows how the stair puzzle works. At first, they listen to her and seem headed for a win. Then dissension breaks out. As they are standing around arguing, Jalapao is flying to the top of their stairs to win immunity.

After the challenge, Timbera discusses Jerry's illness. Sierra tells the camera she doesn't care if Jerry's a nice guy, he's sick, he must go. They were perfectly willing to throw her under the bus when she was sick so she has no sympathy. Coach tells Assistant Coach Tyson that Erinn got an evil grin on her face when she realized Jerry was sick and she would be saved. Coach says he can't exist around evil people. Erinn must go. Tyson agrees with him. Before the trek to Tribal Council, Tyson confesses to the camera that he loves seeing people cry when you crush their dreams. Is that in the Mormon doctrine? At Tribal Council, Dimples asks Jerry where he thinks Timbera is going wrong. Jerry says they need a leader. Cut camera to Coach preparing to step up to the plate. Who, says Dimples? Brendan, says Jerry. Coach visibly recoils. Not one to be reticent about his accomplishments, Coach tells everyone that really he should be the leader, I mean that's what he does, he's Coach. Why do you think his mother gave him that name?? I mean she could have named him Assistant Coach and then Brendan would have had a shot, but nooo... Oh well, Coach will let this go as long as he has the satisfaction of seeing Evil Erinn get her torch snuffed. But when the votes are cast, Jerry's illness has trumped Evil sending our Mitzi to the sidelines. Oh and by the way Coach? Assistant Coach voted for Jerry too. You may want to rethink who's holding the power in that relationship.

Until next time, Lynn aka Stephen (I think Taj wants to use me) Fishbach

Oh I almost forgot, Jerry's departure means Lisa and Grace will not be winning our secret prize.

Survivor Tocantins - February 19/09

We begin tonight's episode with Team Jalapao returning to camp, having sent Carolina packing. Sandy is confident that the tide will turn in her favour (favor, for our alphabet deprived New Hampshire friends) now that she has made it through one Tribal Council. She has been underestimated she tells us. But Spencer assures us Sandy has only had a temporary reprieve and is the next to go. The morning of day 4 finds the tribe, under the leadership of Joe, looking for protein. There is a discussion about termites while they wander through the forest looking for termite hills. Joe finds a termite hill, points to it and calls it a termite hill. He then kicks it over, releasing a torrent of bugs. In one of those moments that gives we blondes a bad name, Debbie looks at the river of bugs fleeing from the termite hill and asks "are those termites?" No Debbie. This is a special termite hill where only tarantulas live....of course they are freakin' termites! Meanwhile, Joe and Spencer have gathered around the termite hill. Spencer reminds us that he is a teenager and is not used to going hungry. He starts chowing down on the termites proving that teenagers will eat almost anything as long as they don't have to do dishes. The real treat, though is when they find a fat, juicy larvae. They pass it around and Joe, Spencer and Stephen each have a bite. Joe and Spencer seem ok with the menu but poor Stephen is doing a little gagging. I picture my good buddy Lynn doing her sympathy gag thing.

But enough about Jalapao. At Timbira they are unsuccessfully trying to light a fire but no one really seems concerned about it. Sierra is more worried about finding the hidden immunity idol as she is still feeling very threatened. Deciding she needs help to find the idol she confides in Brendon. Together they find a possible location on the beach for the idol and begin to dig. Back at camp people begin to notice they are missing so Debbie volunteers to go looking for them. She arrives at the beach to find Brendan and Sierra digging a massive crater in the sand. Believe me, the meteor that wiped out the dinosaurs didn't leave a crater this big! Thinking quickly, Sierra tells Debbie that they are building a giant fire pit. At this point Debbie has her second blonde moment of the day saying "Oh good we can pretend we are on a beach somewhere!!". Uh, Debbie. You are on a beach. Somewhere. Don't make me come to Brazil and kill you. A little later on Taj confesses to the group that she is the wife of NFL running back Eddie George. Most of the men are in awe, Stephen is embarassed because he has never heard of Eddie George, and TJ decides he needs the money more than Taj.

Back at Club Timbira, they finally have a fire started and Candace is cooking. She wants to cook the rice and the beans together. Coach Benjamin thinks they should be cooked separately since they cook at different speeds. There is a little tension from which Candace walks away. Coach later comes over to apologize by....well...flirting with Candace and uh....licking her. Candace tells us that Coach's ego is bigger than Brazil and will be his downfall. I will point out that Rick had voted for Coach to win the million. At this point he turned to me and asked if he could change his vote.

Fortunately Rick's grovelling for a second chance was cut short by an immunity/reward challenge. Dimples arrived wearing a mint green shirt. Weird, I know! This challenge is a game of full body contact extreme three on three water basketball. With teams of three rotating through the game, the first team to score three baskets wins reward. This is nasty, but in the end the nerdy Stephen wrestles the ball away from a Timbiravar and scores the winning basket. And so Jalapoa wins reward - a set of fishing gear - as well as the right to send someone from the other tribe to Exile Island. They pick Brendan. Dimples introduces a new twist though, in that Brendan has to pick someone from the opposite tribe to go with him. He selects Taj.


Back at Timbira-Med they have to decide who to send home. Their perennial scapegoat, Sierra, is back on the block but some new names are being tossed around too. Coach didn't contribute much to the basketball game. Candace wonders what he brings to the table besides talk. Debbie (of "are those termites" and we can pretend we're on a beach somewhere" fame) rushes to tell Coach of Candace's plan. Coach immediate moves his sites away from Sierra and over to "the cancer in the tribe" Candace.

Things are more idyllic at the Jalapao camp where JT and Stephen are trying out the fishing gear. The two are bonding. Stephen calls JT his Tom Sawyer and admits that he is smitten with JT's "pretty country ways". Even JT doesn't hesitate to call this unlikely match a friendship.

On Exile Island (which is actually just a giant sand dune) Brendan and Taj find a note asking each of them to select one of two urns. Taj's is empty but Brendan holds a note telling him that the immunity idol is located in the Tribal Homeland. Brendan heads off to look for the idol and Taj wants to come along for the "walk". But they soon figure out that the clue is telling them that the idol is back at camp. Brendan's note also tells him that he has the choice of returning to either tribe, but he says no way is he going to go to the Jalapao team. When Brendan arrives back at camp he tells them that Taj got the clue for the immunity idol and that he is uncertain whether she found it or not.

Meanwhile the Jalapaogonians are still trying to decide who to send home. Candace and Erin want Coach gone but think maybe they should wait a while and let him dig his own hole. But Candace is plotting for nothing. When Dimples (still in his mint green shirt) counts the votes Candace has five and is the one heading home. Trotting along behind Candace is our pool's own Lorelee. Also crying in their rice and bean pilaf are Pam and Jack who both chose Candace to win the million.

And speaking of that little secondary contest, here are the votes for the final winner:

Pam and Jack \, in an unfortunate moment of poor judgement, voted for Candace
Lisa and Grace voted for Jerry
Barb and Selina voted for JT (wahoo, been a long time since anyone picked my guy to win!)
Lynn and Pat voted for Brendan
Cheryl voted for Erinn
Georgia voted for Tyson
Marie's kids told her she was voting for Spencer
Donna voted for Joe
Rick voted for Coach Benjamin and won't be allowed to change his vote
Lorelee voted for Sierra

That's it for this week. Until next time,
Outwit, Outplay, Outlast

Pat (aka JT Ain't I just the most loveable country boy you ever met Thomas)

Survivor Tocantins (Brazil) - February 12/09

Here we are in a new year and a new season of Survivor...Survivor 18 to be exact. Sixteen would-be survivors are rattling across the Tocantins (pronounced Tocantcheenz) the high desert of Brazil. Dimples tells us this is one of the most isolated places on earth (Dimples having never seen the town in which I grew up), prone to high winds and wild fires. The 16 Survivors have already been separated into two tribes, the Jalapaos and the Timburas. They are not allowed to speak, but nonetheless are busy sizing each other up as the truck rumbles on. When the truck stops Dimples tells them they have 60 seconds to unload what they can.Lumber, water, beans, bananas...its all there for the taking. Once the sixty seconds is up and the tribes are surveying their loot (Timbura has water, beans and other practical stuff), Jalapao notices they have sort of forgotten to pick up the water. But they don't have time for recriminations because Dimples has some big news. They are going to vote immediately. Each tribe will vote for one member of their tribe who will not participate in this adventure. Not knowing each other's names, the survivors are forced to write descriptions of who they are voting for. Its not really that hard because everybody on Jalapao is voting for "the old one" (meaning Sandy), while everyone on Timbira is voting for Sierra. Both are angry believing they are going home before the game has even begun. But Devious Dimples has tricked us all. He only said they wouldn't go on THIS adventure. Meaning they don't have to walk across a hot dry desert, through crusty shrubbery and man-eating animals. Instead Sandy and Sierra get a helicopter ride to camp, during which they have a chance to think about how they can repair the lousy first impression they have obviously made on their tribe mates. Sandy seems to think its not worth the bother to suck up to her tribe while Sierra thinks the solution is to tell them over and over and over and over that she is sick with strep throat. I know that would make me want to keep her around.



Having arrived at camp several hours before their tribe mates, Sandy and Sierra have some time to kill. Fortunately the producers of the show have provided reading material, in the form of a note. The note tells them that they can either spend their time building a shelter for their tribe with the building materials provided, or they can look for a hidden immunity idol buried on the beach. Sandy doesn't hesitate in looking for the idol, reasoning that the Jalapaorites won't like her shelter anyway and they will still vote her off. She finds a second clue for the idol but not the idol itself. Sierra takes a different approach, thinking that welcoming her tribe home to a nice hut will mend the impression they have of her as weak and unable to contribute.



Meanwhile the two tribes are treking across the Brazilian highlands carrying what they were able to salvage from the truck. In Jalapao, JT (my guy) takes charge of the hike, chosing the direction and leading the way (no JT, don't do it! - have you never watched the show?). In Timbira Sargeant Jerry really wants to take charge, but knows it is the kiss of death. Instead he lays low and the leadership vaccuum is filled by Benjamin (Coach) Wade, who tells us he is tired of Survivor being about survival of the weak and wants to draw the strong people to him, instead of eliminating them.

When the Jalapao tribe finally arrives at camp Sandy is waiting for them. There are hugs all around, but Carolina tells us that she is pissed that they have walked all day and Sandy is sitting around and doing nothing. Little does Carolina know that Sandy has been digging on the beach, unsuccessfully looking for the immunity idol that will be her salvation at Tribal Council. The next day Carolina tells the group that they should be working on some big projects. This doesn;t sit well with some of her tribe mates, especially Taj who advises her to can the bossiness.

At Camp Timbira Sierra has a shelter built and the tribe seems delighted, although I think Holmes on Homes would be less than impressed with her workmanship. In keeping with his theme of keeping only the strong, Coach declares that Sierra still has to go. This tribe is far less formal as Tyson proves that Mormons can have fun too, by getting naked in front of his female tribe-mates. Unfortunately, there seemed to be some smudges on my television screen.

So we get the the challenge. This is both the immunity and the reward challenge. The winning team will earn fire and immunity. Tribes must run over a series of sand hills, and into the river. There, once they all arrive, they can unclip a raft holding puzzle stair pieces. They must get the raft back to land, untie the puzzle pieces and carry them back over the sand hills to the start. There two tribe members must assemble the pieces to make a stairway. Once the stairway is complete all tribe members must get to the top, where two more tribe members must solve a table maze. Phew I get tired just typing all that! Jalapao takes and early lead but Timira stages a come from behind win.

Back at camp the Jalapaoreos must decide who to send home. The old lady, Sandy, (who I must mention is younger than me and I resent all the old commments) seems like a natural. But her grit during the challenge has won over at least one of her tribe-mates, Spencer. Meanwhile Carolina's bossiness continues to make her enemies. Not feeling anywhere near secure, Sandy sneaks off at every opportunity to look for the hidden immunity idol. Not suspecting anything, the rest of her tribe think she is just being anti-social. As it turns out Sandy doesn't need her idol because when the votes are counted the bossy Carolina is the one heading home. With Carolina goes our own Roberta. I must tell you that Roberta has been away in Mexico so probably didn't even know Survivor was starting. She certainly never had a chance to bond with Carolina and she never paid her money. If we are all very very quiet she might not even know she has been eliminated. Shhhhh.

You now have one week to send me your votes for Survivor most likely to win the million dollars. I will take votes up until 7:00 CST on Thursday Feb. 19. Don't forget to post your comments on the blog so I know you were here!

Until next week,

Outwit, Outplay, Outlast
Pat (aka JT give me that thar compass and I'll show you how to get yonder Thomas)

Survivor Tocantins - Find your Identity

First a little housekeeping. We have 20 people in our pool and there are only 16 Survivors this time around (this number fluctuates between 16-20 depending on the season). To ensure that everyone gets a chance to play and to make it as fair as possible, Lynn and I drew numbers to see who would "buddy up" and share a character. Grace and Debbie are together, as are Cheryl and Selina, Georgia and Jan and Pam and Donna. Each of these eight people only pays $5.00 into the pool, but if your team wins you must split the winnings.

The next order of business is the first person to be eliminated. Typically this person gets their money back. Based on the previews of the show, two people are going to be eliminated during the first episode. In this case the first person eliminated during the show will get their money back. I admit this really sucks for the second person but I am very tired and really couldn't figure out how else to do it.

As usual there will be a prize for person who correctly picks the final winner of Survivor Tocantins. You can watch the first episode and get your votes in to me before the start of episode 2 on Feb 19. Georgia has already voted but if she changes her mind after watching the first episode, that's cool.

Now, on with the business at hand...the revealing of your Survivor alter egos.

Barb will be sharing fashion tips with Sierra Reed, a 23 year old model and self-proclaimed adventure junkie from Los Angeles.

Grace and Debbie will be spinning their wheels with 29 year old professional cyclist Tyson Apostol from Linden, Utah who was also a Mormon missionary in the Phillipines.

Cheryl and Selina are rooting for 26 year old hairstylist and marathon runner Erin Lobdell from Waukesha, Wisconsin.

Georgia and Jan will be re-mortgaging the hut for Joe Dowdle, a 26 year old guitar-strumming, football-tossing real estate agent from Austin, Texas.

Kathy will be peeking into the cradle at Spencer Duhm, a 19 year old student from Lakeland, Florida, and the youngest Survivor ever.

Roberta will be calling the shots with Carolina Eastwood, a 26 year old bartender from Hollywood, California whose father moved her from Panama to the "Untied" States (I'm not kidding that's what it says in her bio!)

Lisa will be making some plays with Benjamin Wade an outdoorsy 37 year old soccer coach and accomplished musician from Bolivar, Missouri.

Lynn will be writing up a business plan with her new buddy Stephen Fishbach, a 29 year old corporate consultant from New York. Stephen believes one of his secrets to Survivor success is that he looks like a Muppet.

Marie will be in tune with Tamara "Taj" Johnson-George, a 37 year old former pop star and wife of a former NFL pro from Nashville, Tennessee.

Mitzie will be taking orders from Jerry Sims, a 49 year old army sergeant from Rock Hill, South Carolina who has recently returned from Afghanistan.

Pam and Donna will ride along with Sandy Burton 53 year old bus driver from Louisville, Kentucky. Sandy is also the state school bus rodeo champion. My sympathies go out to both Pam and Donna ;-)

Rick will search for his fortune along with Brendan Synnott a 30 year old entrepreneur from New York, who, for what its worth, shares my birthdate.

Pat will be watching the herd with JT Thomas, a 24 year old good 'ole boy and rancher from Samson, Alabama, who says he's not above playing the innocent country boy card.

Jack will be drooling over 24 year old model Sydney Wheeler from Raleigh, North Carolina. Her bio says she is the "girl next door". I'm telling you this girl never lived within 5000 miles of me!!

Lorelee will be looking for loopholes along with Candace Smith, a 31 year old attorney and former Miss Ohio from Dayton, Ohio.

Jeff will be learning a few lessons from Debbie Beebee a 46 year old middle school principal from Auburn, Alabama. This is the kind of principal Jeff likely only dreamed about as a middle school student.

There you have it! Please get your money to me at your earliest opportunity, then sit back and enjoy the ride. The first episode airs this Thursday, February 12. After that you can start firing your votes to me for the final winner.